Part of this summers travels, or News from hell, Hull, and Hallifax, from York, Linne, Leicester, Chester, Coventry, Lichfield, Nottingham, and the Divells Ars a peake With many pleasant passages, worthy your observation and reading. By Iohn Taylor.

Here followeth three Satyri∣call Lashes or Jerks, given with the Pen of the Authour, at or upon the Devil's Ars a Peak.

PEns, are most dangerous Tools, more sharp by ods Then Swords, and cut more keene then Whips or Rods; Therefore (most high and mighty Duke of Dis) C••mmander where the Lake Avernus is, Great Lord of Limbo, S yx, and Phlegeton, Of Tartarus, Gehenna, Acheron, Most potent Monarch of black Erebus, Prince of the Triple-headed Cerberus,

Sole Emperour of Darknesse, and dark works, Master of Hereticks, Infidels and Turks, Arch-flammin of hot Tophets smouldring flames, King of Cocytus, and th'infernall streams, Earle of all Errors, and chief Dominator Of all sins done, by Earth, Ayre, Land, or Water, Viscount, and Baron of large Barathrum, Since I have liv'd to come so neare your Bum, As is your wicked Worships Ars a Peake, Though some men think my Muse is all too weake; I with my Pen doe meane to yerke and ferke ye, And (as I promis'd) with three jerkes will jerkeye. I know that many fooles will jeere and frumpe, That I durst come so neare the Divells Rumpe, And lash with my poore penne Satyricall, This great Don Diego Diabolicall: But I would have him and his friends to know, I jeere him not, for all his Bug-bare show: 'Tis knowne that he, and all that him attend, To any Poet never was a friend: And therefore now I daring him oppose, And jerke his hellish Majesty in Prose.

ALthough you (great Master of the perpetuall Hot-house) Don sel de Lucifer, have on the Earth in all places and Countries many multi∣tudes

of damnable sonnes, friends, and servants, to oppose mee and take your part, yet I being come so neer your Podex, must jerk your breech with my Satyre Pendragonly Goose quill, you know that reproofe is as ill taken as correction by the ungracious. Therefore although you are so bad that you are quite past any mending, yet your gracelesse Majesty may be lawfully touch'd by reprehending; you have been a Cheater ever since the Creation, and in that Art of Coozening, youfirst cheated your selfe of everlasting happi∣nesse, and gained thereby perpetuall perdition, and ever since you have play'd Hocus Pocus, and with your tricks, sleights, and jugling Legerde∣mayne, done your best to draw all the whole Race of Mankinde after you into your King∣dome of Cimerian Tenebrositie; you taught our first Parents Infidelity, Pride, Disobedience and Lying, which qualities of theirs are so natural∣ly descended to us, that (by your industrious in∣stigation) we do continually shew (by our lives and conversations) of what house wee came. By their example of believing too much in you, we are growne incredulous in things which most concerns our better and best of being, and wee are so inur'd and practisde in lying, (by your in∣spiration being the father of lyes) that wee are doubtfull to believe one another. And yet (like

the Cretans) with long use and custome, wee doe many times believe our own lyes to be true.

May it please your infernall Hell-hood to take into your execrable consideration, that you were the first inventer of the most ignoble Science of Offence, you taught Caine the Imbrocado, and shewed him how to murder his Brother, and from that time to this, the Art of Murdering, Killing, and Cutting Throats hath beene univer∣sally and perfectly learned and practised. You have beene the inventer of all manner of de∣stroying Weapons, from the high degree of the Welsh-hook, to the lower descent of the Taylors Bodkin; and in these later times you (with the helpe of a Frier) have devisde a burning, smoul∣dring, most Hellish and undefencible mischief that murders men by heaps, and (with a pow∣der) can blow whole Kingdomes into the Fir∣mament; and for the innumerable Engines that are daily used and cast for such uses, your most high and Imperiall malediction have declared your selfe an excellent Artist, from the dou∣ble Cannon to the Elder Gun-mines, Counter∣mines, Petards, Granadoes, Fire-works, Wild∣fire, and the Devill and all doe continually seek and worke the destruction of miserable Man∣kinde. You are a great Traveller, and will take

the paînes to compasse the whole earth to finde a just man, on purpose to doe him a mischiefe, but for a crew of common Drunkards, Rascals, Bawds and Whores, you know you need not wet your foot to seek them, they are your own alrea∣dy, and by your good will, you would fill Hell so full, that Heaven should have but a few.

And so let that passe for one and the first Jerke.

SEcondly, you know that there is but one nar∣row way to happinesse, and many wayes to your Zona Torrida, Frigida, (for all those large wayes doe meet in one at the last, and bring poore soules into your pestiferous Pursnet) some go by the way of Sodome, to finde out your most damnable Mansion, some by the way of Incest, some by Adultery, some by Fornication (for they say you are the Master of the Honourable and Worshipfull Company and Brother-hood of the Fornicators) in which regard you are a great friend to Parators & Panders. You shew'd Cham the way how to deride his father, by which ex∣ample a company of Chammists, have ever since practised not onely to mock, scoff, and abuse their

naturall parents, but also to contemne, raile and revile against Kings and Princes, who are the Royall Fathers of Terrestriall Government, and further to despise, slight, and libell against the most Reverend Fathers, the Stewards and pain∣full Dispensers of the spirituall food of Eterni∣ty; you directed Corah and his Complices the high rode-way to murmur; Achitophel to give wicked counsell, and Absolon to rebel and usurpe; you shewed Ioab the way to Treachery, Achan tosteale, Iobs wife to abuse her husband, from whom the most part of women (like apt schol∣lers) are very expert in that kinde of miserable mystery. You put Gehezi into the high-way of taking a bribe, and it is too well known what a wicked number of followers he hath had of all degrees, from the Scepter to the Swain, from the black Gown to the buckrum bag. You directed Nabal(who Anagrammatized or lead backward is Laban) to be as churlish as a Hog, from whom miserable Dives hath perfectly learn'd the way to true misery, you taught Nimrod the way to tyrannize, and enclose and encroach upon Land and Territories, which hath beene the bounding, mounding, and curtalling of Com∣mons. The raysing of Ambition, Pride, Volup∣tuousnesse, and such earthly vertues of accursed Greatnesse, and to the Almighty making of Beg∣gers.

You tye fast the Rich mans purse, and let loose the poore mans curse, you instructed Pha∣raoh, Senacherib, and Rabsheka in the way ofblas∣phemy, and from those Hellish presidents their wickednesse is daily impiously imitated, Shi∣mei was one of your Anathema profound Schollers, and from you hee learn'd to curse the Lords Anointed extempore: once (as I have read) you were so addicted to peace and unity that you made Herod and Pilate friends, who were hate∣full enemies, but afterwards your Hypocrisie was found, that it was your plot to destroy in∣nocence: you made Demas to forsake the Truth, and embrace the World (your wicked sister:) you have never been unprovided of a kennell of Whores, Queans, and Concubines, to tempt and draw the wisest men to folly, and for him that is most strong (in his owne opinion) you have alwayes one darling sinne or other to fit his disposition, constitution, inclination, or humour, that like a Dalilah shall weaken him, or quite overthrow him.

And this shall suffice for the second Ierke.

THirdly and lastly, you know that your end draws nigh, and therefore now you rave, rage, and are more mad then ever you were, you know that after Doomsday, that you shall have no more power over Mortals, then you shall be for ever chain'd in your Denne like a Dogge in a Kennell; and therefore now you with all dou∣ble diligence, doe endevour to doe your best to doe your worst, and as much as in you lyeth, you draw us from bad to worse, and from worse to worst. The Hypo crite (by your intcitement) doth vizard all his villany, with the maske or veile of vertue; hee follows the steps of Ananias and Saphira to a haire, hee with his sower looke shrowds a lofty minde. You have scatterd pride into as many shapes as Proteus, so that a proud fashion hunter (if either money or credit will furnish him) will transforme himselfe into as many formes as you can do; our Roarers (who by your pestiferous favour are stiled the damn'd crue) are so given to most unhallowed meditati∣on, that they lie a bed almost till Dinner time to study new oaths, to vent at this Ordinary, at Bowls, Cock-fighting, Horse-race, Whore-house, or any other place of Gentleman like or noble exercise; and as you have taught them to sweare

without feare, so they doe often forsweare with∣out shame: although sometimes they hazzard their eares, as they doe their souls. Youset bad Projectors (and unprofitable) a work, as thick as Crab-lice or Caterpillers, and it is no doubt but you will deale so justly with them, that you will pay them their wages, & after you have set them a gog (with a vengeance) to doe injury with a mischiefe. You are so skilfull in Physicke, that you have made too many believe that the losse of a Mayden-head is an approved and speedy Medi∣cine for the Green sicknesse. Poets, Painters (and some few Courtiers) you have so well taught that they can flatter most artificially with Pen, Picture, and by word of mouth.

It is long of you that what ever the Choplin and the Chaplin liath, yet the thin-check'd Chip∣lin hath nothing at all. I know a poore Curate that comes and goes a mile every Sunday, be it Winter or Summer, all manner of weathers, sometimes wet to the skin, and preaches once a week (on Sundays) for bare five pound a yeare, the Tythe being valued at fix y pound per annum, so that the miserable Stipend or Hireling wages will hardly buy wood to make a fire for him when hee comes home to dry him, when hee s through wet. This is your worke (Monsieur

Diabola) for it is your inspiration to put such wrangling spirits into Impropriatours, that for the not paying of a tenth Pudding or a tythe Egge the Law must take his course. You have brought the Schismaticall Separatist to be as unconfor∣mable as your selfe, for (like you) they cannot bide theCrosse or the signe of it (if it be not upon money) and you have made them as unmanner∣ly as your selfe, for they will not move a Hat, or Bow a Knee at the Name of our Saviour, and they are wax'd as slovenly as you can make them, for they hate clean Linnen, and all order, neatnesse and decency in the Church; And you have long practiz'd a politick slight, which is, that when a Reverend Pastor is painfully and carefully preaching to his Audience, instructing them how to avoid your snares and traps; then you are so angry and impatient when you are told of your faults, and heare your damnable devices laid open, that you could afford to pull the Preacher out of the Pulpit by the eares, or to teare him in pieces, but that hee is so happy that you have no power over him: your invete∣rate malice being limited, curb'd, and snaffled by an unresistable High and omnipotent power, and hee very well understands and knowes in whose service he is, and whose Embassage he de∣livers,

and therefore is so valiant that he neither feares or cares a rush for you; which your im∣periall malevolence perceiving, you have ano∣ther trick for him, which is to lull the people asleep, (of which number many times the best of the Parish are some) by which means you do debarre them of what they should heare, and in the mean time, the Preacher speaks to the bare walls. And I am perswaded that is against your will, that there is any good Preacher living, and seeing they do live (in despight of you) and that by their care & industry they doe now and then violently plucke a soule from you, in revenge thereof you chiefly seek their confusion, either by war, slander, or starving them through want of means. Yet this much may be spoken as one of your good parts, which is, that you were ne∣ver known to be drunke, and though you never walke uprightly, yet you never stumbled, you were never so fox'd but you knew the way home (and the troth is, you are so bold, that you would make every place your home.) The Court, the City, the Country, the Pallace, the Castle, the Cottage, and the Church and all, you are so au∣dacious either to enter them by force, or else to insinuate and sneak into them by craft and subtil∣ty. And though you are no drunkard, yet you doe

love the whole Rabble of them so well, that you are unwilling to lose one of them all, but my hope is better. For if they leave it and mend their manners as they should do, the Devill the one of them you are like to have. You have the art to make great Scholler to learne Retrograde, for if a man be never so good a Grammarian, and hath Greek and Latine as perfect as Homer or Virgil, yet (if he be married) you doe too of∣ten teach his wife the way to reade him back∣ward, like an Hebrician, and though he be never so well skild in learned Volumes, and the seven liberall Arts, yet shee puts him againe into his Horn-book. You have so much Devotion in you, that you doe assist those Brethren that doe pray zealously, that they may be disobedient with a safe conscience, and you make them so stout and valiant that some of them are more able to doe more service in a white sheet then the honestest man in a whole Shire can doe. You know that the Projector would be an honest man if hee did not keep company with himselfe, therefore you might do somwhat to be talk'd off, if you would separate him. It is a scurvy fashion of your de∣vising, that wisemen in Russet, must reverence and stand bare to silken fools; but to conclude, you have gotten such a freedome that you have a

finger in all Trades, and an Oare in every mans Boat, nor was there ever any bad thought, word, or deed, imagined, spoken, or commited since the Creation, but you were at the middle and both ends of it; and I do remember that I have read how once you bragged, boasted and promi∣sed to give all the kingdomes of the world to be worshipped, and afterward you were in that poore roguish case, that you were faine to aske leave to take possession of a silly Hog. In which manner of vain-glorious oftentation, bragging and boasting, the most part of men are expert, and to promise much, and performe nothing, is so easie a lesson of your teaching, that many great men are more ready and perfit in it then in their Pater nester. And now you Grand Master of mis∣chief, you may trusse up your hose, for at this time my Pen is worn blunt, my Inkhorn dry and my¦selfe weary with jerking, where correction is in pain, and no possibility of no amendment.

Thus after the expence of much money, and ten weeks time, having ridden 645 miles (of sandry measures and sizes) all weary and almost monylesse, I returned to London on Friday the twentieth of September, 1639.

FINIS.