A iuniper lecture With the description of all sorts of women, good, and bad: from the modest to the maddest, from the most civil, to the scold rampant, their praise and dispraise compendiously related. Also the authors advice how to tame a shrew, or vexe her.

8. A Lecture betweene a jealous old woman, and her young husband, and thus she begins.

I, I, follow these lewd courses still, and see what will come on't: A∣las, alas, yongster, I can see and perceive day at a little hole, as well as another can, and as farre into, a Mill-stone as another wo∣man whatsoever I take notice, to my hearts griefe, how every day

more and more you slight me: you regard not my company, neither at home nor abroad, neither at bed nor boord: you are ashamed forsooth, that I (because I am somewhat old and ancient) should walke along with you in the streetes, but I'le war∣rant you, if any of your old acquaintance, those young gill-flurts, who tricke up themselves like a Bartholmew-faire Babie, or any other light Gos∣sips intreate your compa∣ny, oh the requst is no sooner made, but it is granted; on goes your

Cloake, and out of Doores you goe with speede, with any of these; I have marked it, with what willingnesse you have gone, as if you went to receive a thou∣sand pound: But if I speake to you, nay de∣sire you, and wooe you, as 'twere for my life, to walke with mee into the Towne to visit my kindred or acquaintance, or but into the fields or Sub-urbes to bee merrie, and recreate my selfe, O what businesse is pre∣tended, what excuses are framed, what Letters

wee have to write, what men wee have appoin∣ted to meete about ear∣nest occasions, just at that very time: Or if I doe chance to get you once in the minde to walke with mee, then presently you beginne, who would bee troubled with such a Wife that can goe no faster, nor keepe companie with the rest: then you say you cannot be merrie be∣cause you have such a clog at your Heeles, and what should you doe with these women in our com∣pany? you cannot bee

so jocund as you should: And when you doe goe abroad with me, doe not I perceive how you march before after foure Mile an houre? If I can limpe after you, or be within your sight, well and good; if not, I may lose my selfe, for any care that you take: and why's all this sir, (thinke you) but because I poore old wretch should not be taken notice of for your Wife: and cannot I observe what noddes and winkes you use to other women in the Streetes, as who should

say, take warning, the old woman's behinde, therefore passe by, and take no acquaintance; but I tell thee, sirrah boy, that when I was yong, as now I am old, I would not have given my head for the washing, with never a wench you keepe compa∣ny with: for I was brought up well, and did keepe good compa∣ny, and was as much made of by young men, as you can doe possible for your heart: I have obser∣ved it from time to time, that when wee are in company to make merrie,

not a smile nor a cheere∣full looke shall wee get from you, no, you are then in your melancholy dumpes, behaving your selfe rather like an Her∣mite in his Cell, or a Monke in a Cloister, than a merrie man at the Ta∣verne or Ale-house: And thus in my company you will sit as if Butter would not melt in your mouth, but I would have you know that I can heare what a merrie companion you are in my absence: Oh then, especially if such a one, or such a handsome woman be in your compa∣nie,

you will sing, dance, tell merrie Tales, kisse, dallie, complement, drink healthes to this Mistris Fart, and this Mistris Fiddle, if the time and place be suteable. Well, well, Ile say no more for shame, and yfaith, yfaith, He turne away that fine Mistris Minks your maid, for something that I have ta'ne notice of within these few daies: your nose bled forsooth the other day, and you must needes throw your bloody hand∣kerchiffe to her, and shee with a wanion to you both, must hold the Bason

while you wash your hands, marrie gip with a murren: But for that mat∣ter let me alone, Ile reme∣dy that, or else Ile want of my will. Ile keepe no such ••ine-snouted Mini∣ons as she is, Ile have a homely huswifely wench, that hath more honesty than beauty, and a better heart than a face; Ile not be thus plagued long, out upon it, an old wo∣man that hath out-lasted the Date of foure Hus∣bands, and now come to be slighted by a Boy of foure and twenty? Well, thy unkinde dealing with

me will bee the death of me before nature hath ap∣pointed it. I tooke thee to be the staffe of my age, but I doubt shortly thou wilt prove a rotten one with the pox. You marry an old rich widow for a comfort? well, I have done, 'tis but folly to speake any more now, but I wish all old women ne∣ver to marry a yong man for my sake.