The theater of the Popes monarchie wherein is described as well the vncleane liues of that wicked generation, as also their Antichristian gouernment, and vsurped kingdome : togeather with their horrible superstition, and blasphemous religion, as it is now vsed at this present, where Antichrist the Pope & his members do beare rule / by Phillip Stubbes.

Of Popishe Chanons, their offices, and abuses.

Stuperius.

THE Chanons are iolly fellowes I promise you, beeyng all eyther gen∣tlemen

at the leaste, or els descended of some noble blood, race, or parentage. In the olde time, this roome was reserued for the poore, and such as were godlye, learned and vertuons menne. But in the ende Gentlemen and other fatte cubbes, seeing the great wealth, ease, credite, and promotion that they were in, and with all their dainty fare & ydle life, began to thrust forth the poore men and to intrude themselues. So that now they are nothing in effect, but swarmes of luberly Gentlemen, and riche chops, lyuing in idlenes, gluttonie, and all kynde of ryotous excesse.

Phile.

What is their attyre and office?

Stupe.

They vse too weare aboute their shoulders fine skins of hayre, and rich furres hanging downe to the skirts of their garmēts, a goodly sight (forsoth) and well beseemingg such persons. And sometimes they goe in blacke mantles (if it please theyr humours) as thoughe they mourned for some notable mat∣ter: But Sub veste lugubri latitat ••••r amoenum. That is to say, Vnder

a mourning weede, lurketh many a pleasant and mery hearte. Their of∣fice is, nowe and then too resorte too the churche, attyred in theyr lynnen whyte garments, in theyr cowles, or els in their foxe skinne hoods wyth tayles hanging downe to the grounde. Where being assembled, they haue naught to do els, but to sing, and chaunte vppe their Canonicall houres, neyther they them selues, nor others, vnderstandyng what they saye. And least these porkyshe hogges shoulde take too muche paynes or strayne theyr throates ouer wyde, they haue gotte a sorte of Lurdens, too Sing, Chaunte, and Rowle it vppe for them, and these they call Quyre menne. For money these fellowes wyll ryng it vppe in deede, and in shorte space dys∣patch you y^e seuen houres, and al. And no maruayle, for from the tyme they begin tyl the time they haue made an end, they neuer cease, but rowle it ouer (like as the waues of the Sea doe vse to tumble one ouer another) as fast as euer they cā galloppe. And whilest they bee at their singing, there is such striuing who shal

go the highest, with such quauering and shiuering, such boing and roaring, that (if thou heardest them) thou wouldst ey∣ther thinke them mad, and ready to go to Bethleem, or els that they stroue for some wager. By meanes of which quy∣er men, the Chanōs themselues are dis∣charged from great burthens, & payns: so that they neede to doe nothing, but only to sit by, as hearers of this melodi∣ous harmony. And oftētimes they seem weary of that too, and therefore strayne they curtesie, and without saying, much good doe it you, they depart before the play be ended. This is all the toyle and trauell which these men (poore soules) do take, & for the which they haue great giftes giuen them, fayre houses buylte them, and are of al men called Rabbi, Sir, Maister, worshipful, and I cannot tell what els. At home they keepe great ho∣spitality: but what is he that fareth the better for it: The Diuell, and theyr fat paunches. And thus they liue in al kynd of pleasure, gluttony, and e••••esse worse then euer did the heathen. And for theyr pleasures (least melancholy and studye

together, might macera••e their bodyes) they keepe parrattes, Apes, Munkies, Hawkes, Hounds, and what not els, to delighte them withall. And thus they delighte in sinne, and take pleasure in iniquitie, and I feare me will so conty∣nue stil, till their mouthes be ful of clay, and their breasts ful of grauell. Hither∣to, briefly of popish Chanons, their offy∣ces and abuses.

Philemon.

What other degrees bee there? I haue heard of a certaine sort of Curtesanes belonging to the popes Church, I praye you what bee they?

Notes

• Popish chanōs what they bee, and their of∣fice.
• Chanons swa••¦mes of lub∣berly gentle∣men.
• Note the hypo¦crisie of these deceyuers.
• Foxes attyred lyke Foxes.
• Quire men the chanons lur∣dens.
• Hogs striuing one too excell another in grunting.
• A great griefe for poore cha∣nons to sit so long.
• Chanons their estimation & reward for doing nothing
• Gluttony of Chanons.
• The fooleries and bableries of Chanons.