Satyrical essayes characters and others. Or Accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. Iohn Stephens

CHARACT. VIII. A Farmer

IS a concealed commodity: his worth or value is not fully knowne till he be halfe rotten, and then he is worth nothing: he hath Religion enough to say, God blesse his Maiesty; God send peace, and faire weather; So that one may picke Haruest out of him to be his time of happines: but the Tith-sheafe goes against his conscience; for he had ra∣ther spend the value vpon his Reapers and Plough-men, then bestow any thing to the mainte∣nance of a Parson. Hee is suffi∣ciently booke-read, nay a pro∣found Doctor, if he can search into the diseases of Cattell: and

to fore-tell raine by tokens, makes him a miraculous Astro∣nomer. To speake good English is more then he much regards; and for him not to contemne all Arts and Languages, were to condemne his owne education. The pride of his house-keeping is a messe of Creame, a Pig, or a greene Goose, and if his ser∣uants can vncontrowled finde the high-way to the Cup boord, it winnes the name of a bounti∣full Yeoman. To purchase Armes (if he aemulates Gentry) sets vpon him like an Ague: it breakes his sleepe, takes away his stomacke, and he can neuer be quiet till the Herald hath gi∣uen him the Harrowes, the Cuckow, or some ridiculous Embleme for his Armory. The bringing vp, and Mariage of his eldest sonne, is an ambition

which afflicts him so soone as the boy is borne, and the hope to see his sonne superior, or pla∣ced aboue him, driues him to dote vpon the boy in his Cra∣dle: To peruse the Statutes and preferre them before the Bible, makes him purchase the credit of a shrewd fellow, and then he brings all aduersaries to compo∣sition; and if at length he can discouer himselfe in large Lega∣cies beyond expectation, he hath his desire. Meane time, he makes the preuention of a dearth his title, to be thought a good Common-wealths man: And therefore hee preserues a a Chandelors treasure of Ba∣con, Linkes and Puddings in the Chimney corner. Hee is quickely and contentedly put into the fashion, if his cloathes bee made against Whitsontide

or Christmas day: and then outwardly hee contemnes ap∣pearance: he cannot therefore choose but hate a Spaniard like∣wise; and (hee thinkes) that ha∣tred onely, makes him a loyall subiect: for benevolence and subsidies be more vnseasonable to him, then his quarters rent. Briefly, being a good house-kee∣per, hee is an honest man; and so, hee thinkes of no rising higher, but rising early in the morning; and beeing vp, hee hath no end of motion, but wanders in his woods and pa∣stures so effectually, that when he sleepes, or sits, hee wanders likewise. After this, he turns into his elemēt, by being too ventrous hot, & cold: then he is fit for no∣thing but a checkered graue: howsoever some may think him convenient to make an ever∣lasting

lasting bridge; because his best foundation hath been (perhaps) vpon wool-packes.