Satyrical essayes characters and others. Or Accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. Iohn Stephens

CHARAC. XIX. An old Woman

IS one that hath seene the day: and is commonly ten yeares yonger, or ten years elder by her own confession, then the people know she is: if she desires to be youthfull accounted, you may

call her Mistres, Widow, or the like; but otherwise old Mother, grandame, and such names that do seale antiquitie: the first she takes well, if childlesse: the last never well, but when shee can speake wonders to grand-chil∣dren of the third generation. If they please her, she hath old Har∣ry soueraignes, that saw no sun in fiftie yeares, to giue away on her death-bed. She loues the vpper end of the table, and professes much skill in Cookery: she thinks it also some felicitie to giue at∣tendance about sicke persons: but is the cōmon foe to all Physi∣tians. In agues, aches, coughes and tissickes, she confidently will vn∣dertake to cure by prescription: if her selfe be vntainted. As for diseases which she knowes not, shee dares proceed to Dragon∣water, Holy Thistles, Worme-wood-drinkes,

and Clister s, without the helpe of Galen, or Hippocrates: if she blushes at the Sunnes rising, her colour changes not till bed∣time: and somtimes though she drinkes downe her break-fast, by dinner time her teeth be grown, & she wil seeme to chew the cud. She may as safely walke amongst contagious Lepers, as into the kitchin, and smels infection, or perfume with the same nostrill. She hath perpetually the pride of being too cleanly, or the adhe∣rent vice of being too sluttish. She affects behaviour in the brood of youth, and will divulge her secrets of superstition to any that will be attentiue. Envy is to her a iust parable twinne, and though it be offensiue common∣ly to few, yet doth it oftentimes consume her selfe, and starue a∣way her memory.