Satyrical essayes characters and others. Or Accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. Iohn Stephens

CHARACT. VIII. A Detractor

IS his owne priuate foe, and the worlds professed enemy: He

is indeed an obstinate heretick, and if you will conuert him, you must anew create him likewise: he is of the Mahumetā sect which hath despised all religious Arts, and Sciences, except the confu∣sion of all; so he approues con∣tinually the worst things among many good, and condemnes that which is iudiciously com∣mended: to read therefore and refuse, makes vp the best part of his iudgement. His fiue senses haue a mortall combat with all obiects, that afford sense, or any thing vpon which they fasten: his eye could neuer yet behold a woman faire enough, or ho∣nest enough, on whom he might bestow the sincere part of his affection: but he marries one to beget an equall society of froward children: his eare was neuer well contented with a de∣licious

tune, for the left is onely open, and that onely apt to con∣ceiue discords through a custo∣mary habit; which hath reiected all, and therefore will: For that he once hath, and is againe min∣ded to oppose worthinesse, giues him both reason and encourage∣ment to continue spightfull: but (to our comfort be it spoken) his enuy ends commonly with him∣selfe, or at most, indeuours no otherwise then a nasty passen∣ger, to rubbe against, and defile faire outsides, because himselfe is loathsome: hee stops his nose if a perfume approch, but can well endure a stinking draft, or kennell, and embrace the sauour: His palate hath no relish except hee may discommend his dyet, and yet hee consumes all to the very fragments: hee tou∣ches or takes vp nothing which

is not blasted by him with a naturall defiance; or at least hee will vtter the manifest forme of discontent. His tongue, the He∣rald of his imagination, is a bu∣sie officer, and will (without question) challenge the same reward of him, that it doth of women; for it dispatcheth the same seruice, and deserues therefore (proportionably alike) to bee called the maine pro∣perty of each: hee is not inferi∣our also to a woman in malice; for shee is that way limited, though vndeterminable: but hee transcends; accounting it his pompe to be infinitely licen∣tious towards all. Hee railes against the Sate, and speakes treasons confidently to himselfe alone, expecting an euent of his desires: Nay, sometimes he is taken (through the licence of

his tongue, and a litle sufferance of the company) in peremptory speeches that bring him to his answere: Neither will he hearken to reformation, till he lackes his cares: Hee is not (if a Church∣man) ashamed to quarrell, first with his Patron, and openly dis∣claime against the poore value of his Benefice: If, a common humorist, hee will diminish the worth likewise of a gift, before the giuers face; and lookes to the disconueniences, not the cōmo∣dity, he receiues by possession. A slight Arithmetician may cast vp the totall sum of his Character: & by substraction (being the bo∣dy of his soule) may find him vn∣der the value of an honest man, aboue halfe in halfe: for he lacks Charity, and so comes short six degrees of a good Christian: and therfore is an egregious coward

because he scornes to iustifie, ex∣cept hee railes against the dead; thither he hastens being vnwor∣thy to liue longer.