Satyrical essayes characters and others. Or Accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. Iohn Stephens

CHARACT. XIIII. A Vbiquitarie

IS a Iourney-man of all Trades, but no sauer because no s••tter vp: He would be an Epitome of Artes, and all things, but is in∣deed nothing lesse then him∣selfe: If an itchy Tailor gaue

him not his making, he had (I thinke) perpetually beene vn∣made: For if he scratch his head, the body cals him; if the body, then the elbow; if his elbow, then againe the body; if the bo∣dy, then the head itches: so ne∣uer quiet, neuer constant, still doing, stil about to do the same, remaines my doer doing no∣thing. The worst of dog-daies was his birth-day when fleas abounded, which (••rom his cra∣dle) haue so bitten him, as till his death he must be tickled. The worme of giddinesse hath crept into his priuate purposes: euery houre, almost, giues him a new Being, or, at least, the purpose to be an other thing then he is. If a coūtry l••fe inuites him he yeelds: the Court request him, he yeelds likewise: but then disgrace auerts him to his study; a Libra∣ry

is gotten: by this time loue hath strucke him, and hee adores the Saint: But then some play declaimes against this loue; hee quickly is perswaded, and fol∣lowes Poetry. Thus my vaga∣bond of vanity is from post to pillar transport••, because hee trauels without a perfect licēce. You shall soone discerne him by his arguments and reasons; They (for the principals) flow from one fountaine of ignorance: for all his proofe depends vpon I thinke so; Euery man saith so: All dislike it: His very conuersation is infectious, but neuer frustrate: for either you must follow him, and that way you must looke to be a looser: or he will follow you, and then resolue that your intētiō thriues but badly. No ob∣iect, no society, season, thought, or language, comes amisse,

or vnexpected, his pollicy there∣fore seekes to be rather frequent then effectuall; to run about the world daily, then trauell seri∣ously; to see a multitude, be∣fore society; and gesse at much, rather then know a little. In his discourse hee daunces All Trades; and flies from field to thicket, as being hunted by an Ignis fatuus. Talke of Acade∣mies, and hee tels you Court∣newes; canuase the state of your question, and hee tels you what new booke is extant. If you discourse, hee still desires the conclusion; and is attentiue ra∣ther to the sequele, then care∣full to vnderstand the premisses. In his behauiour hee would seeme French, Italian, Spanish, or any thing, so he may seeme vn∣vulgar; accounting it barbarous not to contemne his owne Na∣tion,

or the common good; be∣cause he loues to bee more va∣lued by seeming singularly preti∣ous: His habite onely discouers him to be true English: and to be weary of the place, colours his emploiment: To liiie (with him) is all vanity, and that life alone his deerest happinesse: his death therefore may bee somewhat doubtfull, because with it hee hath no Beeing.