As there is no true Cuckold but calamity, so beauties a flower; The Lady bad take away the foole, therefore I say againe, take her away.
Ol.
Sir, I bad them take away you.
Clo.
Misprision in the highest degree. Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum: that's as much to say, as I weare not motley in my braine: good Madona, giue mee leaue to proue you a foole.
Clo.
Dexteriously, good Madona.
Clo.
I must catechize you for it Madona, Good my Mouse of vertue answer mee.
Ol.
Well sir, for want of other idlenesse, Ile bide your proofe.
Clo.
Good Madona, why mournst thou?
Ol.
Good foole, for my brothers death.
Clo.
I thinke his soule is in hell, Madona.
Ol.
I know his soule is in heauen, foole.
Clo.
The more foole (Madona) to mourne for your Brothers soule, being in heauen. Take away the Foole, Gentlemen.
Ol.
What thinke you of this foole Maluolio, doth he not mend?
Mal.
Yes, and shall do, till the pangs of death shake him: Infirmity that decaies the wise, doth euer make the better foole.
Clow.
God send you sir, a speedie Infirmity, for the better increasing your folly: Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no Fox, but he wil not passe his word for two pence that you are no Foole.
Ol.
How say you to that Maluolio?
Mal.
I maruell your Ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascall: I saw him put down the other day, with an ordinary foole, that has no more braine then a stone. Looke you now, he's out of his gard already: vnles you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gag'd. I protest I take these Wisemen, that crow so at these set kinde of fooles, no better then the fooles Zanies.
Ol.
O you are ficke of selfe-loue Maluolio, and taste with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guitlesse, and of free disposition, is to take those things for Bird-bolts, that you deeme Cannon bullets: There is no slan∣der in an allow'd foole, though he do nothing but rayle; nor no rayling, in a knowne discreet man, though hee do nothing but reproue.
Clo.
Now Mercury indue thee with leasing, for thou speak'st well of fooles.
Enter Maria.
Mar.
Madam, there is at the gate, a young Gentle∣man, much desires to speake with you.
Ol.
From the Count Orsino, is it?
Ma
I know not (Madam) 'tis a faire young man, and well attended.
Ol.
Who of my people hold him in delay▪
Ma.
Sir Toby Madam, your kinsman.
Ol.
Fetch him off I pray you, he speakes nothing but madman: Fie on him. Go you Maluolio; If it be a•• suit from the Count, I am sicke, or not at home. What you will, to dismisse it.
Exit Maluo.
Now you see sir, how your fooling growes old, & peo∣ple dislike it.
Clo.
Thou hast spoke for vs (Madona) as if thy eldest sonne should be a foole: whose scull, Ioue cramme with braines, for heere he comes.
Enter Sir Toby.
One of thy kin has a most weake Pia-mater.
Ol.
By mine honor halfe drunke. What is he at the gate Cosin?
Ol.
A Gentleman? What Gentleman?
To.
'Tis a Gentleman heere. A plague o' these pickle herring: How now Sot.
Ol.
Cosin, Cosin, how haue you come so earely by this Lethargie?
To.
Letcherie, I defie Letchery: there's one at the gate.
To.
Let him be the diuell and he will, I care not: giue me faith say I. Well, it's all one.
Exit
Ol.
What's a drunken man like, foole?
Clo.
Like a drown'd man, a foole, and a madde man:
One draught aboue heate, makes him a foole, the second maddes him, and a third drownes him.
Ol.
Go thou and seeke the Crowner, and let him sitte o' my Coz: for he's in the third degree of drinke: hee's drown'd: go looke after him.
Clo.
He is but mad yet Madona, and the foole shall looke to the madman.
Enter Maluolio.
Mal.
Madam, yond young fellow sweares hee will speake with you. I told him you were sicke, he takes on him to vnderstand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleepe, he seems to haue a fore knowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speake with you. What is to be said to him Ladie, hee's fortified against any deniall.
Ol.
Tell him, he shall not speake with me.
Mal.
Ha's beene told so: and hee sayes hee'l stand at your doore like a Sheriffes post, and be the supporter to a bench, but hee'l speake with you.
Ol.
What kinde o' man is he?
Mal.
Of verie ill manner: hee'l speake with you, will you, or no.
Ol.
Of what personage, and yeeres is he?
Mal.
Not yet old enough for a man, nor yong enough for a boy: as a squash is before tis a pescod, or a Codling when tis almost an Apple: Tis with him in standing wa∣ter, betweene boy and man. He is verie well-fauour'd, and he speakes verie shrewishly: One would thinke his mothers milke were scarse out of him.
Ol.
Let him approach: Call in my Gentlewoman.
Mal.
Gentlewoman, my Lady calles.
Exit.
Enter Maria.
Ol.
Giue me my vaile: come throw it ore my face,
Wee'l once more heare Orsinos Embassie.
Enter Ʋiolenta.
Vio.
The honorable Ladie of the house, which is she?
Ol.
Speake to me, I shall answer for her: your will.
Ʋio.
Most radiant, exquisite, and vnmatchable beau∣tie. I pray you tell me if this bee the Lady of the house, for I neuer saw her. I would bee loath to cast away my speech: for besides that it is excellently well pend, I haue taken great paines to con it. Good Beauties, let mee su∣staine no scorne; I am very comptible, euen to the least sinister vsage.
Vio.
I can say little more then I haue studied, & that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, giue mee modest assurance, if you be the Ladie of the house, that