Strange newes, of the intercepting certaine letters, and a conuoy of verses, as they were going priuilie to victuall the Low Countries. By Tho. Nashe Gentleman

To the most copious Carminist of our time, and famous persecutor of Priscian, his verie friend Maister Apis lapis: Tho. Nash wish∣eth new strings to his old tawnie Purse, and all honourable increase of acquain∣tance in the Cellar.

GEntle M. William, that learned writer Rhenish wine & Sugar, in the first booke of his Comment vpon Red-noses hath this saying: veterem ferendo iniuriam inui∣tas nouam, which is as much in English, as one Cuppe of nipitaty puls on another. In moyst considera∣tion wherof as also in zealous regard of that high coun∣tenance you shew vnto Schollers, I am bolde in steade of new Wine, to carowse to you a cuppe of newes: which if your worship (according to your wonted Chaucerisme) shall accept in good part, Ile be your daily Orator to pray that, that pure sanguine complexion of yours may neuer be famisht with potte-lucke, that you may tast till your last gaspe, and liue to see the confusion of both your speci∣all enemies, Small Beere and Grammer rules.

It is not vnknowne to report, what a famous potle-pot Patron you haue beene to olde Poets in your daies, & how many pounds you haue spent (and as it were throwne into the fire) vpon the durt of wisedome, called Alcumie:

Yea▪ you are such an infinite Mecaenas to learned men, that there is not that morsell of meat they can carue you, but you will eate for their sakes and accept very thanke∣fully. Thinke not though vnder correction of your boone-companionship, I am disposd to be a little pleasant, I con∣demne you of anie immoderation either in eating or drin∣king, for I know your gouernement and carriage to bee e∣uerie way Canonicall. Verilie, verilie all poore Schollers acknowledge you as their patron, prouiditore, and suppor∣ter, for there cannot a threedbare Cloake sooner peepe forth, but you strait presse it to bee an outbrother of your bountie, three decaied Students you kept attending vpon you a long time.

Shall I presume to dilate of the grauitie of your round cap and your dudgion dagger? It is thught they wil make you be cald vpon shortly to be Alderman of the Stilliard. And thats well remembred, I heard saie when this last Terme was remooued to Hartford, you fell into a greate studie and care by your selfe, to what place the Stilliard should be remooued: I promise you truelie it was a deepe meditation, & such as might well haue beseemed Elder∣tons parliament of noses to haue sit vpon.

A Tauerne in London, onelie vpon the motion mour∣ned al in blacke, and forbare to girt hir temples with iuie, because the grandame of good fellowship was like to de∣part from among them. And I wonder verie much, that you sampsownd not your selfe into a consumption with the profound cogitation of it.

Diù viuas in amore iocísque, whatsoeuer you do, be∣ware of keeping diet. Sloth is a sinne, and one sinne (as one poison) must be expelled with another. What can he doe better that hath nothing to do, than fal a drinking to keep

him from idlenesse?

Fah, me thinks my ieasts begin alreadie to smell of the ••aske, with talking so much of this liquid prouinder.

In earnest thus; There is a Doctor and his Fart, that haue kept a foule stinking stirre in Paules Churchyard; I crie him mercie I sl••undered him, he is scarse a Doctor ••••ll he hath done his Acts: this dodipoule, this didopper, this professed poetical braggart, hath raild vpon me with out w••t or art, in certaine foure penniworth of Letters, and three farthing-worth of Sonnets; now do I meane to present him and Shakerley to the Queens foole-taker for coatch-horses: for two that draw more equallie in one O∣ratoriall yoke of vaine-glorie there is not vnder heauen.

What saie you Maister Apis lapis, will you with your eloquence and credit shield me from carpers? Haue you anie odde shreds of Latine to make this letter-mungera cockscombe of?

It stands you in hande to arme your selfe against him; for he speaks against Connicatchers, and you are a Conni∣catcher, as Connicatching is diuided into three parts; the Verser, the Setter, and the Barnacle.

A Setter I am sure you are not; for you are no Musi∣••ian: nor a Barnacle; for you neuer were of the order of the Barnardines: but the Verser I cannot acquite you of; for M. Vaux of Lambeth brings in sore euidence of a breakefast you wonne of him one morning at an vnlawful game cald riming. What lies not in you to amend plaie the Doctor and defend.

A fellow that I am to talke with by and by being told that his Father was a Rope-maker, excused the matter after this sort; And hath neuer saint had reprobate to his Father? They are his owne wordes, hee cannot goe

from them. You see heere hee makes a Reprobate and a Ropemaker, voces conuertibiles. Go too, take example by him to wash out durt with inke, and run vp to the knees in the channell, if you bee once wet shod. You are amongst graue Doctors, and men of iudgement in both Lawes e∣uerie daie, I pray aske them the question in my absence, whether such a man as I haue describ'd this Epistler to be, one that hath a good handsome picker deuant, and a prettie leg to studie the Ciuill Law with, that hath made many proper rimes of the olde cut in his daies, and deser∣ued infinitely of the state by extolling himselfe and his two brothers in euerie booke he writes: whether (I saie) such a famous piller of the Presse, now in the fourteenth or fifteenth yeare of the raigne of his Rhetorike, giuing mony to haue this his illiterat Pamphlet of Letters prin∣ted (whereas others haue monie giuen them to suffer them selues to come in Print) it is not to bee counted as flat si∣monie, and be liable to one and the same penaltie.

I tell you, I meane to trounce him after twentie in the hundred and haue about with him with two staues and a pike for this geare.

If he get any thing by the bargaine, lette what soeuer I write hence-forward bee condemned to wrappe bumbast in.

Carouse to me good lucke▪ for I am resolutely bent; the best bloud of the brothers shall pledge me in vineger. O would thou hadst a quaffing boule, which like Gawens scull should containe a pecke, that thou mightst swappe off a hartie draught to the successe of this voiage.

By what soeuer thy visage holdeth most pretious I be∣seech thee, by Iohn Dauies soule, and the blew Bore in the Spittle I coniure thee, to draw out thy purse, and giue me

nothing for the dedication of my Pamphlet.

Thou art a good fellow I know, and hadst rather spend ieasts than monie. Let it be the taske of thy best tearmes, to safeconduct this booke through the enemies countrey.

Proceede to cherish thy surpassing carminicall arte of memorie with full cuppes (as thou dost) let Chaucer bee new scourd against the day of battaile, and Terence come but in nowe and then with the snuffe of a sentence, and Dictum pu••a, Weele strike it as dead as a doore naile; Haud teruntij estimo, We haue cattes meate and dogges meate inough for these mungrels. Howeuer I write mer∣rilie, I loue and admire thy pleasant wittie humor, which no care or crosse can make vnconuersable. Stil be constant to thy content, loue po∣etry, hate pedantisme. Vade, va∣le, caue ne titubes, man∣datá{que} frangas.

Thine intirely, Tho. Nashe.