Flovvers of epigrammes, out of sundrie the moste singular authours selected, as well auncient as late writers. Pleasant and profitable to the expert readers of quicke capacitie: by Timothe Kendall, late of the Vniuersitie of Oxford: now student of Staple Inne in London

EPIGRAMMES OVT OF MARTIAL.

TIMOTHE KENDAL to the Reader.

MArtial is muche mislikt, and lothde, of modest mynded men: For leude lasciuious wanton woorks, and woords whiche he doeth pen. In deede, fonde filthie speaches foule, faire maners much defile: Wherefore the learned doe but well, to count his verses vile. Yet though his verses some be vile, yet some doe muche auaile: And though his matters some be fonde, yet some of follie faile. His woorks are like a garden good, with weedes muche ouergrowen: Lo reader here the fragrant flowers, the weedes▪ awaie are throwen. The best bereft, the beastly left: lo reader here to thee, The daintie Marrowe offered is: let this thy breakefast bee. Accept this simple Maribone, for breakefast I thee praie: So maiest thou better cheare obtaine, of me an other daie.

Of a Lion, that offended his keper.

A Trustlesse beast, a Lion fearce, with churlishe chappes did bite And hurte his maister, whiche hym kept, because he did hym smite. But plaugde he was as he deserude, for that his cruell parte, For sith he strookes refusde with hande, strooke deade he was with darte: Now how should men whiche reason haue, and rulers disobaie, Be punishte, when we brutishe beastes, for disobedience slaie.

Of a Tiger and a Lion.

A Tiger of the Hyrcan flocke, so tame, that he would stande Betwene his masters leggs, and eke moste louyng licke his hande. Thus tame I saie, yet did he flaie, a Lion huge and sore: A thyng so straunge as neuer erst, was harde the like before. No suche thyng durst he enterprise, in woods when wilde was he: Now brought with vs to liue, his moode more ragyng fearce ye see.

Of Leander.

WHat tyme Leander lustie ladde, his Ladie went to see: When as with waltryng waues out worne, and wearied quight was he: He saied: Now spight me not (ye seas,) Leander spare to spill? When I haue seen my Ladie once, then droune me if you will.

Of Gemellus, and Maronilla.

GEmellus, Maronilla faine, would haue vnto his wife: He longs, he likes, he loues, he craues, with her to leade his life. What? is she of suche beautie braue? naie none more foule maie be: What then is in her to be likte or lovd? still cougheth she.

Of Arria, and Paetus.

CHast Arria when she gaue the blade, vnto her Paeto true: All painted and begoard with bloud, whiche from her side she drue. Trust me (saied she) my goared gutts, doe put me to no paine: But that whiche thou my P must doe, that greues and greues againe.

To Fabulla, vainglorious.

OF beautie braue we knowe thou art, and eke a maide beside: Aboundyng eke in wealthe and store, this ne maie bee denied. But while to muche you praise your self, and boste you all surmount: Ne riche, ne faire, Fubulla, nor a maide we can you counte.

To Caecilianus for the gender, and declination of Ficus.

CAecilian when I Ficus saied, thou didst me floute therefore: And badst me rather Ficos saie, and Ficus vse no more. We call that Ficus whiche on trees, we dately see to spryng: And thy deseases Ficos name, for likenesse of the thyng.

To Fidentinus.

THou deemst thou art a Poet fine, And wouldst be thought so Fidentine, By bookes, and Epigrams of myne. So Aegle of her self is thought, To be wel toothed, though stark nought, Hauyng of horne & bone teeth bought.

So to herself Lycoris she, Doeth seme of beautie braue to bee, Because her cheekes men painted see. So thus as you a Poet are: You maie be busht, when you are bare.

To Laelius.

WHen Laelius thou thy self doest naught, thou carpest Verses myne: Leaue Laelius either myne to carpe, Or publishe some of thyne.

To Neuolus, a Lawier.

WHen euery man doeth speake, then still thou speakest Neuolus: And thinkst thou passyng well doest plead, when thou doest prattle thus. The veriest pelter pilde maie seme, to haue experience thus: Beholde now all are silent husht, now speake thou Neuolus.

To Flaccus.

FLaccus, Diodor goes to lawe, and hath for goute no reste: He giues his lawier naughte I thinke, his fingers are oppreste.

Of Sceuola.

IF millions many gods would giue, of goodly glitteryng golde: Should not then Sceuola be esteem••, and highly be extolde? Oh then how would I liue (quoth he) whereat the Gods did smile: And gaue hym his request: but then his ioyes he gan exile. Then ragged goune like peltyng patche, our Sceuola could vse: With patche on patche like loutishe lob, he cobled oft his shues. His table then he did neglect, and course fare pleasde hym beste: With worldly cares he was so toste, that scarse he tooke his reste. Then must I liue he often saied, or els the Gods me take: And so with wealthe gan cares encrease, and hym more carefull make.

To Aelia.

AS I remember Aelia, fowre teeth thou hadst of thyne: One cough did cause thee spit out twoo, one, twoo an other tyme. With saftie now still m••iest thou cough, hauke, hem, spue, spit and spaule:

For now to loose or cough awaie, remaineth nought at all.

To Fidentinus.

TIs tolde and bruted all abrode, myne olde frende Fidentine: That thou reportest all abrode, my bookes for to be thine. If thou wilt graunt them myne to bee, Ile gratis sende them thee: But if thou call them thine, buye them, that myne thei maie not bee.

To Sabidius.

I Loue thee not Sabidius, I can not tell thee why: I can saie naught but this alone, I doe not loue thee, I.

Of Cellia.

FOr fyre deceast thou dost not weepe, if Gellia sole thou be: But looke when commeth companie, the teares then gush from thee. She naught lamenteth Gellia; that seekes for laude and praise: But she who sorroweth inwardly, tis she that wepes alwaies.

To Fidentinus.

THe booke whiche thou doest read▪ it is frende Fidentinus myne: But when thou ill doest read it, then beginns it to bee thyne.

Of Diaulus, a Phisition.

DIaulus a Phisition late, but now he buries men: Looke what so now Diaulus doeth, the self same did he then.

Against Olus,

THy beard is white, thy bushe is blacke, how comes it shall I tell? With colours thou maiest paint thy hed, thy beard thou canst not well.

To Flaccus.

FLaccus thou knowest not Epigrams, no more then babes or boyes: Whiche deemst them to be nothyng els, but sports and triflyng toyes: He rather toyes, and sports it out, whiche doeth in Verse recite Fell Tereus dinner, or whiche doeth, Thyestes supper write: Or he whiche telles how Dedalus, did teache his sonne to flie:

Whiche telleth eke of Polyphem, the Shepheard with one eye. From bookes of myne, are quight exempt, all rancour, rage and gall: No plaier in his peuishe weeds, heare prankyng see you shall: Yet these men doe adore (thou sayst) laude, like and loue: in deed, I graunt you sir those they do laude, perdie but these thei reed.

Against Caecilianus.

WHen not sixe thousande pounde, Caecilian did enioye: Alofte he hoisted was, in Chariot like a Roye. When that through Fortunes grace, he doubled had his stoore: Beholde he went on foote, euen like a peisaut poore. The game and gaine thou haste, and yet to loose doest faine? Tell truthe, lest Fortune froune, and make thee fall againe.

Against Gargilianus.

WIlt haue me call thee bountifull, when giftes thou doest bestowe On widowes old, and senior chuffs,

that doe in substaunce flowe▪ Nothyng maie more dishonest be••, then these thy subtile shifts: How canst thou call Gargilian, these guiles of thyne thy gifts? So by the hooke the flotyng fishe, is brought vnto his haue: So by the subtile secret baite, the selie beast is tane. What tis to giue and to bestowe, I will declare to thee, If thou alreadie doest not knowe: Gargilian giue to me.

Of Philaene.

PHilaene neuer letteth teares, but from one eye to fall: And would ye knowe how so it is▪ she hath but one in all.

Against Attalus.

FRende Attal, thou derlamest well, thou pleadest causes well: The Histories doe passe thou makst, thy Verses doe excell. Thou makest merie Poems, and thy Epigrams are fine: In Grammer, and the course of Starres, thy knowledge is deuine,

Both well thou singest Attalus, and dauncest light withall: Thy arte doth passe to play on harp, or tosse the Tennice ball. When nought thou dost is well, yet all thou dost thou thinkest right: Wilt thou I tell what one thou art: Ardelio, Thraso like.

Against Posthumus.

WHat shall I say this same to be? thy garments all and some Do smell of Mirrhe, and saue of Mirrhe no sent doth from thee come. This Posthumus do I suspect, that still thou smellest well: But Posthumus he smelles not well, who allwaies well doth smell:

Against Zoilus.

BY reason of his Couerled fo••re sick doth Zoilus lye: He sicknes faines, to shew his clothes of costly purpledye▪ Braue bed he hath car••d curious fine▪ and painted fair and gay: What doth his fained si••knes, but his substaunce vaine bewray: What nedest thou Phisiti•• us tell?

they do but thee delude. Wilt thou be well: take to thee then my homly mantell rude.

Of Sertorius.

SErtorius, nothyng finisheth, all thinges he doth begin. When as Sertorius drinkes, likewise he makes none end I win.

Against Apicius.

THy tounge Apicius taunteth none, by it no man is stung: Yet Porringers, and Platters both, complaine still of thy tounge.

To Fabianus.

THou beyng honest, pure, and poore, true bothe in tonge, and harte▪ Why doest thou ••••udge in towne to dwell, and from the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 starte▪ Thou canst not plaie the brokyng bande, nor yet the reueller: Thou canst not cite for to appeare the guilty trespasser. Thou canst not boast and brag it out, thou canst do none of these: Canus, and gra•••••• fyre Glaphyrus, thou canst not praise and please.

Wherfore a miser poore thou liust, nought gaines thy goodnes thee: Be good, and neuer shalt thou sure like Philomelus be.

Of Caerelia, and Gellia.

BEyng a gerle, Caerelia calles her selfe an aged dame: And Gellia she an aged trot, herself a gerle doth name. Ne may the one Colinus nor the other be alowde: The one she is ridiculous, the other curious proude.

Of his abidyng in the countrey.

WHen I in countrie foyle sweet, sappy, rest: how I doe spend & passe the tyme away, If thou do long in few to haue exprest, attentiue be, and marke what I shall say. First serud on knees, the Maiestie deuine: my seruaunts next & ground I ouerlook: To euery man his taske I doe assigne, when this is done, I get me to my booke. For cōfortes cause, I rub my corps w^t Oyle: for exercise I wrestle now and than, With strainyng armes a crash: & tyrd with toile I merry make, (endebted to no man) I pouder, quasse, sing, play, bath, sup, & sleep, somtyme by night, to studie close I creep.

To Cinna.

MIthridates did often ming strong poyson with his wine: Because no poyson pestilent should cause hym for to pine. So Cinna thou hast wrought a fetch, (by supping alwayes ill:) That famine none shall fret thee, that no hunger shall thee kill.

Against Calistratus.

I Am I graunt, and still haue bene Calistrat poore, what then? Yet do the deeds of mine not lurke in dark obliuions Den: My works are red the world throughout: and this (tis said) is he: And that, that diuers death denies, that life hath graunted me. But gorgious Mansion house of thine, doth glister all with golde, Thy Coffers cramd with coyne, are worth whole thousands to be solde. Great store of Land, and goodly ground thy Plowe reares euery year: Of goodly weighty flezed sheep whole thousands thou dost shear. Lo thus am I, and thus art thou:

but thou canst neuer be As I am, of the common crue each one may be like thee.

Against Gellia.

WHile of thy gentry thou dost bost, and praisest stock of thine: To match with one of callyng good forsakes thy fancy fine. Tush none without some Senatour my husband I will haue Thou saidst, now se at last thou hast a carriar common slaue.

To Quintianus.

IN cuttyng cruell cold December, When eache to other gifts do render: Saue bookes naught then I gaue to thee, At home most homely made by mee. Perchaunce thou deemst me in thy minde, Therefore a sneek bill, snudge vnkinde: I hate (I do protest) thee drifts, And guilefull giuings of these gifts. These gifts ar alwaies fishe hookes like: Bayt tucht, straight taken is the Pike. When as to riche the poore giues nought, Then Quint should he be liberall thought.

To Aulus, against Mamercus.

MAmercus by no maner meanes, may broughe and framed be To vse and rule his tonge aright, so cankered curst is he. Though thou didst passe in pietie the constant Curius quight: Although thou Nerua didst surmount, for calme and quiet sprite: Although for gentle mekenes mild thou Druso didst excell: Although for honesty to Mar••▪ thou mightst be likened well. Although thou didst Mauricus match for equitie and right. Although thou couldst as Regulus with filed phrase delight. Though pleasaunt Paulus thou didst passe to make a merry Iest. His rustie teeth, with rane our f••e••, yet still would bite the best. Perchaunce thou Aulus dost hym deeme, a man of wicked tonge: But hym a wretch deeme I, which is mislikt all men among.

To Gellia.

WHen so thou sendest me an hare, my Gellia still thou ••aist

I shalbe seuen daies after fair: thus still with me thou plaist. My Gellia if thou doe not mocke: if truth thou do declare: I dare be bold to say that thou, didst neuer eate an hare.

That we should benifite our frendes.

THe crafty thefe from battered chest, doth filch thy come awaie: The debter nor the interest, nor principall will pay. The fearefull flame des••rdies the goods, and letteth nought remaine: The barren ground for seede receud, restoreth naught againe. The subtile harlot naked strips, her louer to the skin: If thou commit thy self to seas, great daunger art thou in. Not that thou geuest to thy frend, can fortune take away: That onely that thou giust thy frend, thou shalt posses for ay.

Against Posthumus.

I Minde what thou hast done for me▪ and will remember eake Alwaies: why hold I then my peace,

and Postume dost thou speake? When any I begin to tell, thy goodnes what it is Towardes me, tush straight they say hymself earst told vs this. Beleue me two to many are, this same for to expresse: One will suffice, if I shall speake, then Posthume hold thy peace. Though thou be frushyng franke, although great gifts thou giue, perdy Yet perishe all those gifts of thine by thy garrulitie.

Against Candidus.

THy farmes are proper to thy self, thy gold and siluer white Thine proper, proper to thy Plate, and christall glasses bright. Thy pleasaunt wines of sundry forts, thine proper to no dout: Thy proper wit: and proper to thy hart and courage stoute. All doutles proper that thou hast: what said I all? I lye. Thy wife she is not proper, for she common is perdy.

To Rufinus.

I Graunt, I can it not denie, thou sure hast goodly land: Fat farmes, and tenementes thou hast, and liuyngs in thine hande. And debters diuers owe thee muche, much coine thou hast abrode: Riche Plate of Gold and siluer both, thy table still doth loade. Inferiours thine Rufinus yet, disdaine thou neuer a dell. More then hast thou had Didymus, and more hath Philomel.

Against Matrinia.

I Like no Beldames, I. Matrinia dost complaine? I Beldames loue: but thou art none. starke dead thou dost remaine. I can well fancie Hecuba, of Neob like alone: Before the one be made a dog, the other made a stone.

Of Fishes engrauen.

BY Phidias art thou fishes seest, engrauen feat, and trim: Put water to them, and they will whip, skip, frisk, frounce and swim.

Against Ligurinus.

NO man with thee will willyng me••t▪ and eache mis takes hym to his feet Whereso thou Ligurine dost come: thy presence shinnies both all, and some▪ Wilt know why thirs from thee they start? a Poet prattlyng pert thou art. This vice is vile all men among: the Tigres robbed of her yong, The Dypsas scor••he with skaldyng heat, the Scorpion that with taile doth threat, These moniters fell are not so fear•• as thou art, where that thou art heard: For who I praie thee suffer can as thou are such a troublous man? To hym that standeth thyu dost reed, so eke to hym that sits indeed. To hym that runs thou art recityng, to hym thou readst that is a sh••tyng. Washyng at Baines, there I thee here. I can not swim, where thou a••t neer. To meales I hast, me dost thou nay. at table plast, thou goest thy way. All wery when I go to bed, molestyng mee, thou shakst my hed. What harme thou dost now wilt thou see? though honest, good, and iust thou be, Yet for this fault, none like of thee.

To the same Ligurinus.

THe supper of Thyestes, whether Phoebus God deuine Mislikt I know not, Ligurine but sure we like not thine. Thy fare is fine and good, thy ••ates as curious as may be: Consideryng how thy tong doth walk, yet all mislikes we see. I care not for thy dainty meates: I do mislike each messe: What I would haue thee do dost aske? what? marry hold thy peace.

To Aemilianus.

IF poore thou be Aemilian, thou shalt be poore alwaies: For none but welthy worldlyngs are enriched now adayes.

To Labienus.

WHen Labienus all alone I saw thee sit of late▪ Three men mee thought I saw: I was deceaued by thy pate. One patch of heare there standeth here, another standeth there: Deformd thy scalp: the locks do grow

I know not how, nor where. In midst of all, thy sconse is balde: there allies are to see: Wherein not half a grasse doth growe, so bald, and bare they be. When as the Emperour deales his dole, thy sconse then profits thee: Others one Basket haue of bred, for thy part thou hast three. Thou like vnto king Gerion art: If Hercules thee spye In Phillips Porch, (take heede I say) dead art thou by and by.

To Lupercus.

FOr that thou suppest oftentimes and neuer callest mee: Lupercus I haue found a way, How to be euen with thee. I will be angrie though thou sende, call, and request mee still: What will I do, dost aske of mee? What? marrie come I will.

To Faustinus, against an euill Phisition Hermocrates.

BOth washt and supt Andragoras, with vs in health and sound: Yet in the morne Andragoras,

stark dead in bed was founde. Wouldst knowe of suche so sodaine death, what should thoccasion be? Hermocrat the Phisition in slumber he did see.

Against Phoebus.

WIth oyntment made for nonce, thy pace all ouer Phoeb is dyde: And all thy sluttish scuruie skalpe a painted heare doth hyde. No Barber thou dost neade at all thy hed to notte, and pole: A Sponge or painting pensile Phoeb, will better shaue thy nole.

Against the enuious.

ROme lauds, & loues, & reades my works, and singes them euery where: Each fist doth hold me clutched fast, eache bosome me doth beare. One blusheth ••o, as red as fyre, anone as pale as claye: Anone he lookes astonished, as one did hym dismaye: Sometime he mumping mockes and moes, sometime he doth repine: Ymarrie, this is that I would: now please me verses mine.

To Marianus.

THou knowest one lurketh thee to ••ueth. and he that lurkes a lo••t To lucre bent: thou knowest his drift, and where he goes about. Yet hym thine heir thou didst ordaine in will thou madest last: And madman like didst will that he should in thy roome be p••a••t. He sent thee gifts in deed: but how? he sent them with the hooke: And can the fishe the fisher loue, that for his death doth looke? Trowest thou this Foxe will for thy death take any inward thought? No, no: if thou wilt haue hym weepe, then Marian giue hym nought.

Of the the••e Cilix.

A Thefe that Cilix had to name, to rob an Orchard sometime came▪ In all the garden great was nought saue Priapus, of Marble wrought. What doth me he, (greedy of praye,) but hales the hugy stone awaye.

To Lupus.

PEnsiue thou art, and prosperous: take heede lest fortune blinde

Knowe Lupus this, lest she thee call churle gratelesse, and vnkinde.

To Rufus.

A Certaine man not long agoe, Gaue me the gaze frende Rufus so, As if some foolishe fencer I Had been, or one that went to buy. With eye, and finger, when that he Had looked long, and marked me: Art thou (quoth he) art thou declare, That famous pleasaunt Poet rare, That men echewhere do Martial call, Whose iests do ioye bothe great, and small? I somewhat smilyng, tolde my name, And saied I was the verie same. Why then (quoth he) so ill art clad? Because I am a Poet had I aunswered. All this is true, Frende Rufus whiche I tell to you. Good Rufus sende some clothes therefore, That I maie shamed bee no more.

To Amianus.

A Serpent fell thou hast engraud, in ••iluer bole of thyne Of Mirons makyng: poyson sure thou drinkst thou drinkst no wine.

Against Olus.

FOule filthie faultie folks there are: whats Olus that to thee? What matters it thou honest, what vile vicious varlets be. Matho at Dice plaies all his co••••e: whatts Olus that to thee? Not thou therefore shalt feele the paines, of poore estate, but he. Sertorius reuelles out the night: whatts Olus that to thee? So thou maiest snortyng soundly stepe. and still in quiet bee. Muche money Titus, Lupus owes: whatts Olus that to thee? When thou indebted art to none, but art from all men free. For all this Olus yet there is, that doeth pertaine to thee: And that vnto thy charge and care, of duetie doeth agree. Thy gowne to gage for coine doeth lye, this to thee Olus is: And for a farthyng no man now will credite thee, and this. Thy wife doeth make thee carrie hornes, this to thee Olus is: Thy daughter now a dowrie greate requires of thee, and this.

Muche more beside I could declare what doeth pertaine to thee: But Olus what pertaines to thee, doeth naught pertaine to me.

To Castor.

CAstor, thou euery thyng doest buy: Sell euery thyng thou wilt perdy.

To his Muse.

FIue bookes had been sufficient: or sixe, or seuen in deede: And to muche to: why then my Muse to sport doest thou proceede? Fie, fie, forbeare, and make an ende: my fame abroad is spred: And no man talkt of more then I. my bookes eche where bee red. And when the stones of Messala shall lye, and bee forlorne: When Marble stones of Licinus to pouder shall be worne, Yet euery mouthe shall speake of me: and many a geste with hym Shall carrie to his countrie coste, my woorkes and poems trim. I ended. Loe, then spake one of the sacred sisters nyne, Whiche had her bosome and her locks

besmeerd. with oyntments 〈◊〉〈◊〉. Canst thou, canst thou vngracefull churle (quoth she) finde in thy harte: To plaie as thou hast purposed, so fonde a thanklesse parte? Canst thou forsake thy pleasant toyes, and trifles that excell? How better canst be occupied when thou ar•• Idle, tell? In lofty stile wilt rather chuse feirce tragedies to write? Or else of blowes, and blody blades hadst rather to indite? Then euery skowlyng scholemaster would read with harshie voyce Thy verse, then neither lad nor lasse would in thy stile reioyce. The frownyng sage, and sowre seuere these kinde of thinges do write, Who miserably spend their time in study day and night. Vse rather thou thy Romain Iests, and pleasauntly repeat Thy sawes, and as for them, let them of what they list intreat. Although with s••klender Oten pipe thou seemst perdy to sing: Thou dost surpasse the Trumpet, lowd

that in the eares doth ring.

To Priscus.

DO ye demaund a welthy wenche why that I will not wed? I nill be bound for to obaye, my wife at euery sted. The matrons (Priscus) to the man must still inferiour be: Else shall they not be equall, nor like man and wife agre.

To a married couple, that could not agree.

SIth that you both are like in life, (a naughty man, a wicked wife:) I muse ye liue not voyd of strife.

Of Fabius, and Chrestella.

HIs wiues still buries Fabius▪ Christella contrary Her husbands buries: none they match withall, but straight they dye. Now Hymen cause these conquerours together both to linke: That so one Beare may bere them both to their sepultures brinke.

Against Gallicus.

WHen me thine Heire of all thy lands to make thou diddest swere

By all the gods, that rule aboue, and by thyne hory heare, I thee beleud: for willingly who will himself forsweare? And still in hope to speede, with giftes I did thee feede and chear. Among my gifts a Boar I sent, great, fat, a waighty one: As huge and monstrous mighty big, as that of Calidone. Thou straight way didst send for, and feast, the riche and eak the poore: All Rome doth belche and surfet yet, with eatyng of my Bore. My selfe the giuer (who would thinke?) the better nought did fare: I nothyng had, ne ryb ne rumpe did fall vnto my share. Frend Gallicus what should I hope thy land to gaine of thee? When that no morsell of myne owne, thou wouldest giue to mee.

Of Priscus, his banquet.

THe learned Priscus bookes bewray what banquet is the best: In pleasant stile is muche declard, In lofty much exprest.

But sure with learnyng great declard there is both all and some: Wilt know what banquet is the best? where Minstrelles none do come.

Against Cinna.

AN Astrologian Cinna said that quickly thou shouldst dye, Thy fate he did fortell thee thus: and sure he did not lye. For whilest thou didst feare thou shouldst leaue much behind to spend, Thou reueling didst roist it out and madst of all an end▪ Not one yere fully was expirde but all was gone wellny: Declare me Cinna now, is this not quickly for to dye?

To Condilus.

THat thou so long a serua••a•• libft why Condil doost complaine? A masters greife thou 〈…〉〈…〉 knowe, nor yet seruaunts gaine. Thy hard and homely couch doth yeld thee quiet sleep and rest: When Caius lo lies brood awake with cramping cares opprest. For feare thy maister dare not, but

salute whom so he meetes: When thou maist iet with cap on crowne, and carelesse strut the streetes. One comes to maister thine and saith giue that thou owst to mee: And staies hym in the street, and none so Condil doth to thee. Thou fearst a pat on pate, or els a whirrit on the eare: But gronyng he with gre••••, and gowt, his fatall fine doth feare▪ Speake Condil, hadst not rather now still haue a seruaunts place Then be a maister, and remaine in Caius cursed case:

Against Aphe••.

AS oft as I beholde thy wife, when as with thee I 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Thou lowryng Apher bendst thy brow, as though than didst 〈◊〉〈◊〉. What fault? tell what offe••••e 〈…〉〈…〉 thy wife fo•• to 〈◊〉〈◊〉 The sun, the starres, the thrun••ed thrones with siluer perle and gold, And eak the gods themsel••e•• 〈◊〉〈◊〉 what should I turne aside, And flap my hand on face▪ as th••••ugh, some Roman grim I spide

A hoorson fell was Hercules, yet Hilas we might see: With prety Ganimed to play, M. still had licence free. If thou wilt haue thy guests to wink, and not thy wife to see: Let Phineas blind, and Oedipus, thy guests then Apher be.

Against Crispus.

THou saist thou art as much my frend as any man can be: But now, to proue this true thou saist, what dost thou Crisp for mee? I would haue borowed coine of thee, thou diddest mee denie, What tyme thou hadst as much as well could in thy coffer lye. When gauest thou mee a busshell tell, of Beanes or any graine? When as to plow thy fertill ground thy plowman tooke the 〈◊〉〈◊〉? When gauest thou mee a Frocke of Frise my corps from cold to 〈◊〉〈◊〉? Or when of siluer halfe a pound didst thou vnto mee send? Nought els I see, wherby I may beleue my frend thou art:

But that before me oftentymes thou gerdest out a fart.

To Phileros.

SEuen wiues of thine now Phileros in ground engraued be: The ground to none so bountifull, as Phileros to thee.

To hymselfe.

MArtial, the thinges that do attaine the happy life, be these I finde▪ The riches left, not got with paine, The fruitefull ground, the quiet minde: The egall frend, no grudge no strife, No charge of rule nor gouernaunce, Without desease the healthfull life, The household of continuaunce. The mean dyet, no delicate fare, True wisedome ioynd with simplenes, The night discharged of all care, Where wine the wit may not oppresse. The faithfull wife without debate, Such sleepes as may beguile the night, Content thy self with thine estate, Ne wishe for death, nor feare his might.

Otherwise.

THe thinges whiche cause 〈◊〉〈◊〉 life mee thinkes most full of blisse to be,

Are these: when goods from frends do fall, and we from labour free. When fertill field growes fast abroad, and mind is voyd of strife: And merry Ihon by tostyng fire, may sit with Ione his wife. When corps is sound and strong with all, and wisedome rules the mynde: And frends in frenships faithfull knot, a faithfull hart doth bynde. When fare is good, though not of cost, and night with pleasure prest, Not drowsy head, but merry minde, doth cause a quiet rest. To be as harte could wishe or craue, thy state content withall: Not feare, nor wishe for fatall day, but come when come it shall.

Against Carmenion.

SIth that Carmenion you doe cracke of Corinth that you are A citezen, and so say all, I maruell how you dare And with what face and honestie call mee your brouher: why? You know in Spaine that I was borne eke there I dwell perdy.

What do we looke alike? no sure: and why it shall appeare: Thou wandrest trixsie trimsie fine, with crispt and curled heare. But all disordered lye my locks after the Spanish guise: Thou doest with ointments rid thine here, rough are my legs, and eyes. An amerous flatteryng tong hast thou, speakyng nice, neat, and fine: Not halfe so womannish as thyne, is daughters tongue of mine. Looke how the Doue doth differ from the chefest bird of all: Looke how the Deare doth differ from the Lion strong and tall: So differ we: wherefore I say, Carmenion, brother thine Ceasse mee to call hereafter, lest I call thee sister mine.

To Gallus.

IF so my grief will do thee good, I will be vp and dight, Before Aurora doe appeare and chase awaie the night. I will about, when plunging puffes vpturneth townes and towers:

Ile bide the bruntes of frost and snow and hidious hissyng showers. But if no better thou awhit, if nought at all thou gaine By this my troublous toyle and grefe, and griefly pinchyng paine, Spare thou my tyred ghost, and from these torments make me free: Whiche help not Gallus thee a whit, but hurt and hinder mee▪

To Philenis

DOest aske with plaister on my chin why that I walke about? Philenis mine I do not minde to kisse thee out of doute.

To Cherimon.

SIth like a Stoike, Cherimon, thou praisest death so muche: Thou wouldst bee praisde, and wondred at, as though there were none suche. What makes thee death desire so muche? thy broken pitcher potte▪ Thy homely raskall har••h, that burnes, with fire seldome hotte. Thy mat••e, and eke thy bedstead bare, with stinkyng Cimex fret: Thy cu••••olde cal••oke colde, wherein

thou still art faine to iet: O what a stoute couragious man is this? how manly bolde? That loues no dregs of Vineger, nor holme, nor brownbread olde, Well goe to: if vpon a bed of dowle thou shouldest lye: And if thy couche were costly clad with clothes of purple dye. Then, then, full often wouldst thou wishe thrice Nestors yeares to liue: No tyme then wouldst thou lose, but still thy self to pleasure giue. An easie thyng in penurie, this life for to dispise: Who can beare torment paciently, tis he thats counted wise.

To Parthenope.

THy chaps and iawes Parthenope, a cruell cough doeth greeue: To helpe thee, the Phisition vnto thee still doeth giue Nutkernels short, fine honie sweete, and cracknels of the best, And all suche thyngs as children please, and make to bee at rest. Yet notwithstandyng all this geare,

thou coughest still perdy Ye are a craftie knaue, you cough to fare deliciously.

Against Zoilus.

HE did not terme thee Zoilus right, who termde thee vicious elfe: If he should terme thee truely, he should terme thee vice it self.

To Vacerra.

A Flatterer, and a slaunderer, Also a craftie cossener, A trifler vaine, a whoremunger, A fine foincastyng fenceplaier, All these Vacerra though thou bee: I muze, yet mony wants with thee.

To Polla.

WHy Polla me doest garlands sende so faire, so freshe, so fine? Sende rather me some Roses rubde with lillie handes of thyne.

Of Legeia.

IF Legeas yeres and heares agree: Then iuste three yeres of age is she.

Of Affricanus.

AS riche as Cresus Affric is: for more yet hunts the chuffe:

To muche to many, Fortune giues, and yet to none inuffe.

To Fabullus. Of Themnon.

FAbullus frende doest aske me, why hath Themison no wi••e? He loues to bee in quiet, free from bate, and brawlyng strife.

Against Thelesinus.

WHen that no gage nor paune I bryng, and of thee coine doe craue: I can not helpe thee straite thou saiest: gage grounde and thou shalt haue. So thou no credite giust at all, vnto me Thelesine: Thyne old companion, and thy frende, but trustest grounde of myne. Loe Carus hath thee guiltie founde, and banisht must thou bee: Wouldst haue me beare thee companie? naie, call my grounde to thee.

To Iulius.

IF thou wilt eschewe bitter aduenture, And auoide the gnawyng of a pensiue hart: Set in no one person all wholy thy pleasure, The lesse shalt y^u ioy, but lesse shalt y^u 〈◊〉〈◊〉.

To Phoebus.

WIth hyde of Kid, thyne head in 〈…〉〈…〉, to couer baldnesse thyne: He quipt thee home, who ••olde thee Phoeb▪ thy sconse was clouted fine.

To one diuersly conditioned.

FAtile, and froward art thou sure, faunyng, and also fell: With thee I can not liue, nay bide, nor yet without thee dwell.

Against Zoilus.

BLack head, red beard, short feete thou hast▪ and poreblinde eke thou art: Tis ten to one, but Zoilus thou doest harbour harme in harte.

Otherwise.

BLacke hed, red beard short feete thou hast, and eke thou art poreblinde: Thou woorkst a wonder Zoile, if thou hast any good in mynde.

Against Policarnus.

TEn tymes in twelue mōthes thou art sick or oftner, Policarme: And this thy sicknesse neuer thee, but frendes of thyne doeth harme. For after health recouered still,

thy frends thou asked gifts: For shame bee sicke but once a yere, and leaue these guilefull shiftes.