Loves maistresse: or, The Queens masque As it was three times presented before their two Excellent Maiesties, within the space of eight dayes; in the presence of sundry forraigne ambassadors. Publikely acted by the Queens Comœdians, at the Phœnix in Drury-Lane. Written by Thomas Heywood.
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- Loves maistresse: or, The Queens masque As it was three times presented before their two Excellent Maiesties, within the space of eight dayes; in the presence of sundry forraigne ambassadors. Publikely acted by the Queens Comœdians, at the Phœnix in Drury-Lane. Written by Thomas Heywood.
- Author
- Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641.
- Publication
- London :: Printed by Robert Raworth, for Iohn Crowch; and are to bee sold by Iasper Emery, at the signe of the Eagle and Child, in Pauls Church-yard,
- 1636.
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"Loves maistresse: or, The Queens masque As it was three times presented before their two Excellent Maiesties, within the space of eight dayes; in the presence of sundry forraigne ambassadors. Publikely acted by the Queens Comœdians, at the Phœnix in Drury-Lane. Written by Thomas Heywood." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A03235.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed May 2, 2024.
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Ladies kneele downe.
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But father, no tongue shall her joyes expresse.
Phebus, thy words leave us all comfortlesse.
I must espouse a ••rpent, that's my hell.
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Cupid my sonne, where's hee?
Anon-forsooth.
Anon-forsooth.
Anon-forsooth.
Will Iuno come, or C••res? 〈◊〉〈◊〉
Iuno lay lolling in my Vncles lapp.
Which Vncle?
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What's this to Venus message, what said 〈◊〉〈◊〉?
And where was Ceres, what did shee replie?
They said they would bee heere immediately.
Why in such haste hath Venus sent for us?
Well, what's the news with you?
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All honour Love, but none adore Loves Queene.
The injury i•• 〈◊〉〈◊〉; but 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉it?
But Cupid sweares to make the jacks forsworne.
Will 〈◊〉〈◊〉 swallow this disgrace?
What shall Pan doe in this?
If this be all, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 shall 〈◊〉〈◊〉her wish.
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I will forsooth.
Nay doe not mock mee, wilt thou?
Yes indeede, Indeede I will forsooth.
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Deare sister 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
But lurkes that serpent in this 〈◊〉〈◊〉rocke?
So said Apollo.
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Drinke P••iche. 2. Drinke Psiche. 3. Drinke Psiche,
Peace. 2. Peace. 3. Peace.
Is this my husband then?
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Name it, and Ile avoid it for your sake.
In all these things, I will obey my love.
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But where's your Poet Asse among all these?
Ther's no such creature.
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Thou hast made this somewhat plaine.
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Home, Home; more musicke there, I must to r••st:
Astioche.
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Rise Royall Sir, your Daughters are return'd.
Oh where, which way; are my two daughters come?
Yes sir, and both their lapps are fill'd with gold.
Psiche is well.
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Oh, you amaze me Daughters.
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And what might you call that yong gentleman, that rules and raignes, 〈…〉〈…〉 of 〈…〉〈…〉 from your ••••ocks and leaves you 〈…〉〈…〉 in your heads then in your sheepe-hookes? What might you call this gallant?
〈4 lines〉〈4 lines〉
〈1 line〉〈1 line〉
Cupid Coxcombe: your Satyrs are all sots, your Fawnes fooles, and your Pan a 〈…〉〈…〉; had I 〈…〉〈…〉 I know not what I 〈…〉〈…〉 I would 〈1 line〉〈1 line〉
They 〈…〉〈…〉
〈…〉〈…〉 and how lies hee?where's his guard? what's his play? Can any of you 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 me his 〈◊〉〈◊〉title
Not I 〈…〉〈…〉
Then harken oh you 〈…〉〈…〉 oh you 〈◊〉〈◊〉whil'st I give you his 〈…〉〈…〉 Hee is King of cares, 〈1 line〉〈1 line〉 Prince of 〈…〉〈…〉 Duke of disasters, dissemblers, 〈…〉〈…〉
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and mad-folkes▪ grand 〈◊〉〈◊〉of griefes, and grones; Lord of lamentations, Heroe of hi••-〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 and Mounsier of mutton-lac'd.
Heere's a stile I shall never bee able to get over.
And who doe yo•• thinke maintaines this princox in his 〈◊〉〈◊〉?
Nay, it 〈◊〉〈◊〉my 〈◊〉〈◊〉▪
A company of 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉▪ did you never heare of one Homer, and 〈◊〉〈◊〉the Tale of Tr••y, and of a te•• yeeres 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and many 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉.
〈◊〉〈◊〉, and many 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉.
But heare 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊◊◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊◊◊〉▪ This Troy was a 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉••ome 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉; and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, as silly a fellow as I 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉loving to play the good fel∣low, h••e had a great many bowsing 〈◊〉〈◊〉; whom 〈◊〉〈◊〉called sonnes.
As 〈◊〉〈◊〉have 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Iust the same; by this Troy ••anne a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉, that one might stride over; on the other 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 a Far∣mer, who had a light wench to his Wife call'd Hellen, that kept his sheepe, whom Paris, one of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 mad lads, s••e∣ing and liking, ticeth over the brooke, and lies with her i•• despight of her husbands teeth; for which wrong, 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉for one 〈◊〉〈◊〉 his 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊〉〈◊〉was then high 〈◊〉〈◊〉of the hundred, and complaynes to him: hee sends to one Vlisses, a faire spoken fellow, and Towne-clarke, and to di∣vers others, amongst whom was one 〈◊〉〈◊〉fellow called A∣jax, a Butcher, who upon a Holy-day, brings a payre of 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and layes them downe in the mid'st, where the
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Two Hundred•• were 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊〉〈◊〉bould lad of the other side 〈◊〉〈◊〉, steps 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and takes them up; these two had a bowte or two 〈◊〉〈◊〉a broken pate; And heere was all the circumstance of the Trojan Warres.
To see what these Poets can doe.
But listen to them, and they will fill your heads with a thousand 〈◊〉〈◊〉; obserue one thing, there's none of you all sooner in 〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉is troubled with their itch, for hee will bee in his Amorets, and his Canzonets, his Pastoralls, and his Madrigalls, to his Phillis, and his A∣morillis.
Oh beautious 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
And what's Amorillis thinkst thou?
A faire and lovely creature.
Ile shew thee the contrary by her owne name, Amor is love, illis, is ill; is ill, cannot bee good; Ergo 〈◊〉〈◊〉 is starke naught; let one or two examples serue for more, there's one of our fayrest Nimphes called Susanna; what is Susanna, but Sus and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, which is 〈◊〉〈◊〉plaine Arcadia, Nan is a Sow.
Well, you have taught us more then ••ver I under∣stood before, concerning Poetrie.
Come to mee but one howre in a morning, and Ile reade deeper Philosiophie to you; good-morrow Neighbors; Poets, quoth a; What's Titule tu patule, but Titles and Pages; What's Propria que maribu••, but a Propper man loves Mary-bons, or Feminno generi 〈◊〉〈◊〉, but the Femi∣nine Gender is troublesome; what's Ovid, but quasi avoide; now should I be in love, with whom? with Doll, what's that but
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〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉, 〈◊◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊◊〉black-pot, or what's 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉for 〈◊◊◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊◊◊〉 poste: no Cupid▪ 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉and all thy 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
If I could but find one of these fantasticall Poet••, or light upon that little god their Patron, I would so tickl•• them.
Oh me, hey-hoe.
Oh coward, whatsoere thou art, to come behind a man
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and strikehim before, 〈◊〉〈◊〉I saw nobody—to 〈◊〉〈◊〉▪ 〈◊〉〈◊〉never give a man warning, oh coward, I am payd, I am p••p∣per'd; the case is alter'd, for any one may 〈◊〉〈◊〉••y th•• huge∣nesse of the blow, that I 〈◊〉〈◊〉in love; ay—me, that any wench were heere, whose name is 〈◊◊◊〉〈◊◊◊〉I be in love with any madge, though she were an Howlet, 〈◊〉〈◊〉with any mayd, though she look't like a Malkin; Oh Poetry, I find that I am poyson'd with thee too; for me-thinks I could 〈◊〉〈◊〉my prayers in blanke-verse, nay let me see, I thinke I 〈◊〉〈◊〉rime for a neede;
Why how now Psiche?
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Deare love pardon mee.
What harme? What danger?
Come, let's see him.
Oh, what shall I doe?
Escape the danger you are fall'n in••.
You cannot see him.
Give us then his shape?
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I am entr••p'd.
Speake, did you ever see your husband?
How did that serpent vanish from your sight?
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How doth our sister relish this devise?
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Well, I am pleas'd.
Ile shew thee in a 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Art some-times must give way to 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
Was not this sport indeede?
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I prethee doe.
To me, I s••orne her likenesse.
But why did Cupid hide himselfe from Psiche?
Those gadding girles, what did'ft thou meane by them?
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ACT. III.
SCENE. I.
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'Twas Psiches hand.
Let my weake sex pleade for my great offence.
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What will my deare love doe?
Why doe you plague the place for my offence?
For pitty heare poore Psiche.
Noe, away?
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Doe you heare the news, you annimalls?
Is it worth the hearing?
A qvestion well ask'd, for it is musicall news, and there∣fore worth your eares: Apollo being call'd by Venus from hea∣ven, hath ever since kept Admetus his sheepe, with whom Pan meeting, they fell in contention, whether his Pipe or A∣pollos Harpe could yeeld the better Musicke, and which withall could sing the best; come then my sweete Amarillis, and take thy place amongst the rest, for this is the day of the tryall, and amongst others, I heard my father Midas say, that all other businesse set a part, he would be at it; but there is one mischiefe late happened.
What's that I prithee?
Pan hath got a could, is hoarse, and hath lost his voice, and therefore hath chose mee to sing in his place; and Phoe••s, because hee will take no aduantage, hath pick'd o••t one of his Pages to doe the like for him; therefore come, make a lane, for by this time they are upon their enterance.
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But is it possible, that Pans Pipe dare con∣tend with Apolloes Harpe?
Yes that it is possible, blind harper, and that my winde∣pipe shall proove; make roome, and get you all out of the lists save I, that am to be one of the combatants
Who shall be Iudge?
Admetus.
No better man, so please him undertake it.
Meaning mee, and I will set out a throate.
Is this thy champion?
Yes, and who's for thee?
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Who shall begin?
Most voices.
Apollo, Apollo.
No matter tho' his Champiaon begin, lot mee alone to come up with the Catastrophie.
Silence, Silence.
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Come stand forth?
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Is Phoe•• pleased.
Pleased.
And is Pan content.
Content.
Now if my father can but c••sure as well as I sing, the towne's ours.
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A sentence, a sentence, a Pan, a Pan.
Phoebus is gone displeas'd.
Still may he be so.
Midas I'me sure has judg'd with equitie.
But see father, see god Pan, 〈◊〉〈◊〉revenge, he hath not sent a blustering wind to blow us all hence; 'tis Boreas, 'tis Boreas.
Come Midas, come Swaines, till this storme be past, Let us away to shelter.
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I d•• intreate.
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When Hermes speakes, wee are bound to all attendance.
Oh yes, If any can bring Psiche unto Venus—
Psiche whom you are sent to seeke, stands there.
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Helpe mee deare Father, sisters, Mercury.
I dare not speake for thee.
Nor I.
Nor I.
Poore Psiche, borne unto aduersity.
What will Venus doe?
Thou shalt know better when thou back return'st:
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Pitty me Venus, Father pleade for mee.
'Tis well done Hermes, hast thou brought the graine?
Madam I have.
And what must miserable Psiche doe?
Psiche adieu, none can reverse thy doome.
Not I.
Nor wee.
I wish the earth my tombe.
Take patience Psiche, and be comforted.
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Yes, I did not sleepe, as thou did'st in thy judgement.
All's one for that; now for your morrall.
Wil't thou stay it out?
What wouldst thou seee?
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Yet hee forsooke her too.
Well, I am answer'd.
ACT. IIII.
SCENE. I.
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Heere's Mercury to have his 〈◊〉〈◊〉mended.
Hee shall stay.
And heere's a clowne for hob-nailes.
What shall wee doe first?
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Ile whip you for't with 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉in wine.
No more I did, 〈◊〉〈◊〉wife.
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Ha, hornes, with hornes, how's that?
Vulcan weare hornes?
Speake shall I have my Sheepe-hooke, and those Irons?
Is this that water of th' Infernall lake?
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Polt-foote, peace.
For my sake, my best Mother, pittie her.
For thee I hate her, and for her hate thee.
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Vulcan cannot goe.
Yes, but 'tis best to keepe behind a shrew.
Then put her in before, on Venus, goe.
Oh pitty Psiche, shee is sent to hell.
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Let thy sacred breath—
And what's that Cerberus.
Ile stop mine eares against Ob••rvious cry.
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Ile shun their baltes.
Dread Cupid—
And what dost thou thinke of Cupid now?
And what of Poets.
As Poets, as of Potentates, for since I plaid the last prize against Phoebus, in which I may say of my selfe, veni, vidi vici; I have beene so troubled with a Poeticall itch, that I can scratch you out Rimes, and Ballats, Songs, and Sonnetts, Oades, and Madrigalls, till they bleede againe.
Then thou art reconcil'd to Homer.
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Homer was Honourable, Hesiod Herolcall, Virgil a Vice∣gerent, Naso Notorious, Martiall a Provost, Iuvinall a Ioviall lad, and Persius a Paramount; what doc I thinke of Poetry? of which my selfe am a profest member.
And may be very well spar'd, and yet the body ne∣ver the worse, but thou may'st see what becoms of rayling a∣gainst Cupid, what a sweete Mistris hee hath put upon thee?
Who, my Amarillis.
Yes, the veriest dowdy in all Arcadia, even Mopsa compar'd with her, shewes like a Madam; first she's old—
It was very well said, to say first, because shee was before us, and for being old, is not age reverend? and therefore in mine eyes shee's honourable.
And wrinkled.
Is't not the fashion; doe not our Gentiles weare their haire crisped, the Nimphs their gownes pleated, and the Fawns their stockings, for the more grace, wrinckled; doth not the earth shew well when 'tis plowed, and the land best when it lies in furrwes.
Besides, shee hath a horrible long nose.
That's to defend her lipps, but thou sinner to sence, and renegade to reason, dost thou blame length in any thing? dost thou not wish thy life long, and know'st thou not that Trueth comes out at length; When all our joyes are gone and past, doth not Long look'd for, come at last; If any of our Nimphs be wrong'd, will shee not say, 'tis Long of mee, 'tis Long of thee, or Long of him; If they buy any commodity by the yard, doe they not wish it long; your Advocate wishes to have a law suite hang Long; And the poore client, bee his cloake never so short, and thread-bare, yet would be glad to weare it longer.
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The short and the long o••t is, shee's an ugly crea∣ture, make of her what thou can'st.
Make of her what I can; oh that all, or any of you could li••e mee, looke upon her with the eyes of Poetry, I would then let you know what I have made of her.
Prithee let's hear't.
Then listen hither, oh you Imps of ignorance;
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All the Homers in Asia could never have come so neere the businesse.
From head to foote, for her stature and yeeres, pattorne h••r in all Arcadia; say shee bee a foule beast in your eyes, yet shee is my Hyren; and shewing foule to others, and faire to mee, I shall live the happier, and shee the honester, but I have a remedy against all this in spight of Cupid.
What's that?
I heare Psiche his Mistris, is sent to hell for a boxe of beauty, 'tis but way-laying of her, and taking it from her, then Amarillis shall compare with any other she that dare.
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Shee's come already.
Then conduct her in.
Fetch her I say, Venus shall be reveng'd.
Goe Charo••, waite upon him Cerberus.
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Come Cerberus, come haggs, fetch Psiche in.
Heere shee comes.
My sop, hast thou thy naulum Ferry-man?
I have.
Psiche stand foorth, nay poore soule, tremble not.
Shee hath done well, why kneel'st thou on the ground?
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This is shee, I know her by her marter'd face; Venus did well to send her for beauty, for poore soule, she hath neede on't, I have dogg'd her, to see if I could find her at any aduantage, to steale away her boxe; I have already got love from Cupid; I have got Poetrie from Apollo, and if I could now get beauty from Psiche, Phaon the faire Ferry-man, was never so famous in Sicillia, as I Coridon shall be in Arcadia.
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I Psiche, what still in your longing 〈◊〉〈◊〉?
That's it, nay I shall know't, if I 〈◊〉〈◊〉't againe.
Where am I now? Dread Cupid 〈◊〉〈◊〉mee.
Come rise, and wipe away these fruitlesse teares;
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Like thee, Ide rather see thee hang'd; dost thou think wee meane to weare Vizors.
This 'tis to be 〈◊〉〈◊〉mortalls, and have noe addition of learning or travell; their dull eyes cannot judge of Caelestiall beautie: but where's my 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and the god of marriage Hymen?
They both stay for thee in Venus Temple; but I hope thou wilt not be married to her in this pickle?
Will I not, yes, and dazell all their eyes that shall looke on mee, especially my 〈◊〉〈◊〉, and shee must needs have some part of my theft, all is not gone, somthing for her is left:
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Welcome faire Queene.
To give you meeting, I am come from hell.
Saw you not Psiche there?
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Husband, your knees.
My deare Lord pleade for us.
Wil•• neither; yet Father.
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Wee all will mediate for them.
Wee'le hence-forth be her hand-maids.
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And ever in that thou fool'st thy selfe.