A Hymeneal Mosaic [pp. 494-503]

TO THE ABSENT ONES'
was somehow suited to the occasion, he was
reluctant to forego its use. So he brought
it in indiscriminately. At one moment he
joyfully spoke of himself as a benedict who
was about to realize the highest bliss attainable by man. Then he went on to warn
us that such unchangeable benedicts as we,
were the despair of the gods who desired
our happiness, and the discredit of our race.
At which we cheered vociferously, for he
was so obviously enjoying himself. And
then he glowingly spoke of the morrow,
when he would become the benedict of his
dreams. As he sank beneath our plaudits,
he whispered to the waiter, "A dozen,
Mumm!"
499
"Pints, sir?"
"Quarts, always quarts!"
It was an artistic climax, and we thought
the speech the best we had ever heard. We
forgot dignity, and cheered the old chap to
the echo; so that in the Chinese quarter
near by, they looked meaningly our way
and said, "Inglishman, plenty fun! "
We kept it up until pretty late, or rather
early. Bearing Ned's injunction in mind,
we saw to it that there was no beastly orgy;
but "Sissy" Winslow, who was to be usher,
thoughtlessly permitted his wine to get the
better of him. Not that he drank so much,
but he was not strong like Clarence. Now
Clarence never turned a hair; but on Christ