How Aunt Polly Prevented a Jail Delivery [pp. 82-86]

HOW AUNT POLLY PREVENTED
DELIVERY
A KANSAS STORY
BY E. A. BRININSTOOL
Y AUNT, Polly Divers, was a
woman born to command. She
was tall and angular, and had
- the voice of a general on the
field of battle. It was well
known throughout the com muniity that she was "lord
of the manor," and her house hold meekly obeyed her commands, including my Uncle Joe.
Uncle Joe was one of those good-natured,
unselfish, free-and-easy going sort of men
who always pitied where others condemned,
and only some very important and sensational event could arouse his sluggish mind
to action.
MIy relatives had been living on a farm in
the State of Connecticut. Aunt Polly, it is
needless to say, was the manager. On a
pinch she could get out and dig potatoes,
hoe beans, and even plow. More than once
have I known her to handle a pitchfork
with a dexterity that would cause the hired
man to remark that, "There ain't no flies
on your Aunt Polly."
One day at the dinner table she remarked:
"Joseph, suppose we sell the farm and
move to Kansas?"
That settled the matter; for, although
Uncle Joe coaxed and argued, it was of no
avail. Aunt Polly had got the "Western
fever." Go she must, and go they did.
"Joseph, I think this is a good place to
locate," she said, as they halted at the
county seat of one of the western Kansas
counties, on their way.
Again Uncle Joe coaxed and argued. He
wanted a farm. I believe Aunt Polly did
ultimately intend to locate on a farm, but
her keen eyes had noticed the tide of immigration, and she saw a future in the little
city and a chance for speculation. She was
firm in her convictions, and Uncle Joe, as
usual, gave up and rented a cottage in the
heart of the town and dropped back into
his free-and-easy style of living, while Aunt
Polly watched and waited for a chance to
make investments.
A few months after their arrival Uncle
Joe was called upon by a delegation of his
townsmen, who informed him that he had
been selected as their party candidate for the
office of sheriff.
Uncle Joe was the last person on earth
who would have thought of taking such a
nomination, and would have refused outright,
but Aunt Polly was present, and accepted.
Uncle Joe realized his inability to make a
good sheriff in a section infested with horsethieves, murderers, and desperadoes of all descriptions, but Aunt Polly was firm, and in
a week Uncle Joe was duly elected.
"Hank" Phillips, a giant in stature and
a lion in strength, one of the bravest men I
ever knew, had been deputy sheriff under
the previous administration. He had a reputation well known to the law breakers. To
him Uncle Joe went, at the advice, or rather
command, of Aunt Polly, and tendered the
office of deputy sheriff, and at the close of
the day "Hank" was in possession of the
jail. Being a single man, he, of course, became an inmate of the family.
Things went on smoothly after this, for
Uncle Joe wisely took the advice of Phillips,
and this, together with Aunt Polly's watchfulness, helped him out of many a difficult
tangle.
The county, a new one, had very few good
buildings, but the jail had been built almost
regardless of cost. The supervisors were
well aware of the class of men who would
be confined therein, and had been lavish
with the county funds. It was a stone
structure, two stories in height, with a large
wing for the jailer's family. The upper
story was for boys and female prisoners,
while the ground floor was intended for the
82
A JAIL