The Honorable Jerry [pp. 23-27]

THE HONORABLE JERRY
We took in our chairs with us, and from
the opening speech of the Honorable Jerry,
we had our cue.
"Ah! and it's a trate to ate a bit of dry
bread, it is," said he, his brogue developing
as we became better acquainted.
"Father did not eat bread for three
months, a while ago," explained Kathleen,
half-way inviting question.
"How was that, tell me?" said her ladyship coaxingly over to the Honorable Jerry.
"Well, you see, I was kind of interested
in a little one-horse co-operative schame,
for the farmers to put up a flour mill.
There was a faction against it. As I was
coming out of the Bank one day in Salinas,
one of the big bugs there -the limb of
Satan -says to me,
"Jerry Riley, you'll never live to see the
day when that mill goes up."
"'Never live to see it up?' I yelled at
him.'Then let me tell you this: by the
blood of my forefathers, I'll niver ate bread
again, till it's made from the flour of that
mill."'
"And you kept your oath?" asked my
lady, her eyes glistening like a wild bird.
"Kept it solemnly! But I was so hungry,
I had to take to drink."
As he smacked his lips together, holding
them tightly, a le comedien, my lady
roared. The ice was broken, for it reminded
her of a joke, which somehow brought up
that this very day was the 17th of March
Saint Patrick's day.
"Yes!" said he. "And you must excuse
me not coming to see you, and troubling
you to come here, for I I- I stay home
on this day." (His voice sunk to low minor.)
"Kathleen's mother came into this little
house on the 17th of March, thirty-five
years ago, and scarcely set foot out of it
until the beautiful crayture went to her
long home, when Kathleen there was born.
So Kathleen and I always try to stay home
on this day and have a friend or two drop
in, to celebrate the 17th in the evening.
And as she, the blessed angel of light, in
our poverty was always contint with the
cabin as you see it, why Kathleen and I
agree to lave it as it is. When Kathleen
wants to build, she can build. We would
build in Ireland, only I could not kape quiet
there. No, nor I could n't build there anyway whilst, whilst-"
"Do not say,-there is no need. I
know."
And the Honorable Jerry saw my lady
comprehended the thought he could not express. "No," he continued, "I cannot kape
quiet in Ameriky!" (Scratching his head, till
his hair stood on end.) "And if I can't
kape quiet here, with all its blessed possibilities, the divil take me, if I would there,
anyhow."
After the bountiful repast was over, my
lady, seeing Kathleen was alone, wished to
help her with the dishes.
"No, Kathleen, lave them every way as
they stand,- lave them, I say."
"Father?"
"Do as I bid yez, Kathleen Ryley. Send
Jim -ah, there's the little imp himself!
Come here, Jim."
"Yes, sir."
"Go over to your mother, Jim, at once,
and ask her as a favor to me, to come over
right away, and clare up, and make another
big supper by twelve tonight; and bring
your sister too. Now, Jim, attind mightily.
Saddle Barney, and fill in your time between
this and nine o'clock reminding iverybody
round that the new barn's ready for a
dance; and that I've engaged a harp and a
fiddler that's A 1 if they turn up and
kape sober. Now fly now, and attind to
business for wance, Jim Moriarity!- you
young blackguard." (This last was added
as Jim was out of hearing). "Now, Kathleen, darlint, and your swate lady companion,
dhrive down to the village be'ant, I beg
pardon, the Town, and buy up ivery yard
of green calico that ye can get for a foivedollar piece, and trim them rafters a bit.
That's right, dear, go at wancet."
Then he went straight over to the fence
and shouted to a man in the paddock:
"Banks, go over to the schoolhouse, and
borrow the hanging lamp, and if that crossgrained baste of a schoolmaster says I can't
have it, take it, for I paid for it, tell him,
wid me own money, and it's only a loan."
(The brogue was getting rich. The Honorable Jerry was palpably excited.) "But if
he behaves dacent-like, tell him the Honorable Jerry Ryley desoires his prisence at the
dance tonight."
Returning to us, he continued excitedly:
"That divil of a school-master's swate on
Kathleen, if you plase, and is too proud to
ask for her, because he is poor, and -
Kathleen's not, anyhow."
"But that is laudable on his part," suggested I.
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