True Tales of the Old West: XI, Uncle Roche's Will [pp. 369-374]

TRUE TALES OF THE OLD WEST.
direction, and partially lifted their skirts,
with other demonstrations of silent contempt that are the acme of voiceless eloquence in a woman that earnestly-proposes to snub and crush another woman.
Corcoran was an able, industrious, and
painstaking attorney, and took hold of
the case with a vim. He set all the
requisite machinery of law in operation
on the lines of investigation. Skilled experts and searchers of records were employed, powers of attorney and depositions in blank form transmitted, and
during the ensuing year the correspondence between Mariposa and those points
in Ireland named in the will was something unprecedented. The net result
may be briefly summarized.
Uncle Roche never owned any "old
homestead and stock, improvements, etc.,
in Coolnahorra, County Wexford, Ireland." He did not have $5,ooo, nor any
other sum of money in the "Provincial
Bank of Eniscorthy." He never had a
shilling, nor any other sum in the " National Bank of Wexford, Ireland."' His
"Skerry Welch" property was the baseless fabric of a dream. His "real estate
and money in bank in New Orleans"
melted into thin air before Corcoran's
legal searchlight. His town lot in Coulterville and mining interests in that
neighborhood failed to pan out anything
except a fractional portion of a quartz
vein with a shady title. His "Houses
and lots in Monterey" with their contingent " Rents and profits" were nil.
Thus was my beatific vision-of saintly
purity, which I had enshrined in a sacred
niche away up among the apostles and
martyrs, rudely hurled from its pedestal.
The halo of glory in which that face was
framed, with its heavenly luster beaming
in guileless innocence and holiness,
was dissipated,-brushed aside by the
iconoclastic hand of an attorney wielding
those resistless weapons, facts and fig
ures, and revealing a cunningly devised
practical business scheme. This aged
sinner in saintly guise had effectively
played the trump card of godliness, the
stakes being spring chickens, quail on
toast, good nursing and medical attendance, with prayers and tears and fifty
masses thrown in. The masses were all
fixed. Mrs. Mello ( "kin to the Murphys of Wexford") attended to that business, but the impression prevails that
the monument and iron railing never
materialized.
When the legal fraternity at last understood the real financial status of Uncle
Roche's estate, they ceased their sarcastic criticisms.on " Corcoran's luck," and
with that Satanic disregard of the amenities which characterizes the disciples of
Blackstone, changed front and guyed him
unmercifully for being taken in by a
fraud.
The Judge was kind enough to say
that 1 was the only man who realized any
profit from the transaction. He referred
to the publication of the legal notices connected with the probate business. The
Executrix did make me a tender of the
coin for the bill,-the published rates for
legal ads being "$3 a square first insertion and $I.50 for each subsequent insertion-invariably in advance." The money
was declined, but the sum total was
placed to the credit of the Free Press and
my recollection is that it canceled about
six weeks of a board bill. When I was
in town I never missed a meal. But this
failed to compensate me for that dazed
and lacerated feeling which followed my
misplaced confidence. No man that has
not been there can realize the keen anguish experienced by a vain mortal who
imagines he is a judge of hunan nature
and an all round physiognomist and gets
this kind of a knock-out.
My bitter experience was a lesson
which profited me for about three months:
373