An Experiment in Housekeeping [pp. 423-428]

An Experiment in Housekeeping.
AN EXPERIMENT IN HOUSEKEEPING.
I.
WANTED.-FURNISHED COTTAGE.
A family of three adults, tourists, wishes to rent a
cottage of about six rooms completely furnished, for
two months. Good care will be taken of the furniture, and prompt payment of rent made. Apply at
HAWAIIAN BUSINESS AGENCY.
IT was a hot day in August that the
"three adults" above mentioned were
gathered under the green gloom of some
algaroba trees. The lawn sloped away
to a point where it tumbled steeply into
the sea. Back of it rose a wonderful
mass of red stone known as Diamond
Head. A rambling group of disconnected picturesque buildings lay to the
right, so close to the water that they
seemed amphibious, as they overhung
the sheening, shimmering waves, which
almost sprayed their windows. The
Three Adults were eating bananas and
feeling idly content until the Major read
aloud the seemingly innocent paragraph
of "Wanted.-Furnished Cottage."
"That sounds dreadfully realistic and
does n't at all express what I want," said
the Young Lady. "Even an advertisement should be poetical in such a place
as this. The Hawaiian Business Agency
has no imagination."
"Indeed, I think it has too much,"
said the Major, ruefully. "I don't intend to take care of the furniture, and
as to prompt payment, hack hire and
hotel bills will soon put that out of the
question."
"As for me," said the Matron, lying
back in a steamer chair, "If this were
the land where it was'always afternoon,'
I should never want anything but to be
let alone; but night will come, and then
I want to die, or be transported, or rent
a cottage, or anything except stay where
I am."
The Matron was right; there was a
crumpled rose leaf to mar their sybarite
ease,- or to speak more literally, there
was a bug in the heart of the rose. A
bug? rather ten hundred thousand million of them. They were learning what
the Egyptians suffered when the plague
of insects fell upon them. At table
they fanned their coffee while they took
intermittent mouthfuls, else it became
the swimming place of flies. A brighteyed lassie plied a feather brush around
their ears (the same with which she
dusted the rooms in the morning), but
this inconvenienced them far more than
it did the flies. "I am growing thin,
literally starving," said the Young Lady
as she peeled another banana. "I took
two flies out of the gravy, three out of
the milk, but when I found I had mashed
several up in my potatoes my appetite
refused to survive the shock."
"I can stand the flies better than the
mosquitoes. I haven't slept an hour
for a week," said the Major. "I shook
six scorpions out of our bathing suits
this morning, and I killed thirteen winged
roaches on our bedroom floor last night.
They ran around pit-a-pat, like mice."
"These things being considered," said
the Matron firmly, "the Hawaiian Business Agency is right; we want a furnished cottage. The next question is
what kind of a cottage do we want."
"It must have a piano, a lawn, and a
hibiscus hedge," said the Young Lady.
"And a veranda full of ferns," added
the Matron.
"It is easy to suit me," said the Major. "I want a bath-room, and a cool
bed-room, and a good cook, and an ice
chest, and not a confounded bug on the
place."
So the Three Adults decided what
they wanted, and rose up to go in search
of it.
423
1890.]