Three Pines, Chapters XI-XII [pp. 49-58]

Three Pines.
to tell her anything about me? Is it
your idea of comfort to her, that you
should inform her that I was hanged by
some fifty or more of my good fellow citizens - some three or four hundred
more standing by and consenting- for
killing a man? You must have a singular perception of the proper method of
administering consolation to any one.
And yet, after all, if it is your intention
to bring perfect resignation to her, I do
not know that you could take any better
course than that. Surely she should
then congratulate herself at having so
easily become rid of me; and perhaps
then you can turn to at the last, and
efface her sorrow with your older love."
"Rush Brackley, I have already told
her that she and I can never be anything
to each other more than in the past. I
speak now only for the purpose of doing
what I can to bring peace to her. Surely,
after your long desertion of her she must
need it. A loving word or two from you
in farewell would go far to make her
future life less dark to her. I could take
those words to her from you, and she
need never know under what peculiar
circumstances they were sent. Let me
tell you that you greatly err if you think
that it could be any comfort to her that
in any way you had made your memory
a disgrace to her. Trouble and neglect
can be overcome or even forgotten, if at
the last there is some attempt, however
feeble, to make amends with loving messages. With almost all women it is the
same, -such words would be remembered and cherished, bringing sunshine
with them, long after the memories of
cruelties have faded away."
"You speak very plainly and to the
point, Philip Bently. Perhaps you are
right. I do not pretend to understand
the great mystery of woman's nature to
its foundation. Perhaps, after all, you
have made it a more complete and ex haustive study than I have been able to
do. But now let me tell you this. I
know a little, a least, of my own nature,
and I find that it is one that will not indulge in vain pretences. Clare may
learn how I died and go on through life
cursing my memory, or on the other
hand she may imagine that I have uttered all kind of consoling words for her,
and so may think of me with fondness.
Why should I care which way it may be,
as long as I have had no part in bringing it about? After me, the deluge.
Tomorrow morning -as soon as possible after I am awake, I hope, for it would
be tedious waiting-I shall be taken
from here by your assembled friends,
and after due travesty of the forms of
law, be hanged. You too, will be by
and see it done, I suppose. I know what
I should do, if you had killed a friend of
mine; even if, as in my case, you had
meant no particular injury to him, having merely by way of diversion fired
into the crowd. I think you will find
that at the crisis I shall not falter; and
for that purpose I must have my own
consolations. It is a little too late for
me to look for the sustaining powers of
religion, I suppose you will admit. My
consolation can only be that I have lived
maintaining my character as it is,
whether good or bad, and to the end indulging in no absurd pretences of feeling different than I have felt. Always
have I spoken out my mind, getting at
times into serious trouble for it, and now
that there is less than a day for me to
go, I will have it said, at least, that I was
consistent to the end."
"And yet —
"Don't interrupt me, please. You
know a dying man has so little time to
talk. Well, you now ask me, rather absurdly it seems to me, that I should
leave behind me a few choice expressions of tender regret and sorrow, and
for the purpose of my wife's edification
and comfort. I might be glad to do so
if I could, and enjoy the thought of her
feasting upon them for the rest of her
life. But it would not be in my line to
make any such vain pretences, neither
52
[Jan.