Reckoning-Day [pp. 329-332]

1874.]
i?EC'KOi~?i~U-D~1 y
331
disappeared-while her diamonds rolled into
each other and ran down into a little pool of
water on the floor.
As our idol vanished from our straining
gaze, a deep groan burst from our lips and
from our hearts; and then, amid the crowd of
blanched faces in their gala-dress, was the
most horrible dead silence that I ever listened to. But the harsh voice of Mr. Debit
soon broke the spelL "Do not think, my
friends," said he," that I am come to dispel
your gladness. In the absence of my beloved wife, Mrs. Credit, I am the master of
this house, and I am as anxious for the happiness of society as she could possibly be.
Soon you shall go on with your enjoyment,
for the only`effect of my presence will be
simply that every thing that is not paid for,
whether in the house or on our persons, will
vanish. All that we possess will still be ours
to make merry with, and how much hetter we
shall all feel to know exactly how we stand,
and not any longer to be under the painful necessity of keeping up an appearance which
we know to be a sham! Agreeing`vith my
beloved and honored wife in every other particular, I only differed from her in this: that,
in our enterprises and enjoyments, it was
safest and most comfortable ii ever to go beyond the means in hand, and, in the day of
spending, always to remember the day of
reckoning. With this brief explanation, let
me beg you, my dear and welcome friends,
after a short interval, to proceed with the
social pleasures of the evening as though
nothing had happened."
Immediately our ears were assailed by
such a thumping, knocking, tea ring, and
splitting, as made many persons scream in
terror lest the house was about to tumble
about our ears. "The rent of the house 1
have paid for," roared Mi'. Debit, above tlie
confusion, a satanic delight in his work illuminating his leaden countenance; "so, if you
will stand close to the walls, you will be safe."
And, in fact, it was not the house, but the
furniture! All things in that great establishment were rushing, crowding, and hustling
toward the entrances and exits, as if ten
thousand spirits possessed them to be out
and away to their rightful owners. Carpets
ripped themselves up and blocked the doorways; curtains stripped themselves down
and flew out of the windows; while sideboards and bookcases, pianos and tables, bureaus and beds, chairs and sofas, in a wild
medley, lunged at the window - frames,
smashed in the panes, and even battered
holes in the~r casings, until they had effected
an egress. Pots and pans, pitchers and basins, books, glass, and china, whirled out of
the doors or up the chimneys in company
with bronzes, vases, marble statues, and pictures, until, from centre to circumference, the
walls and floors of the wide mansion were as
bare and dismantled as though nothing had
ever been put into them.
"To think," cried many women who had
envied the splendid Mrs. Credit "that in all
these six or eight years nothin~ in this house
has been paid for-that she has been a complete cheat from beginning to end! Row
e'~mJ we have allowed ourselves to receive
such an adventuress among us?"
"Softly, softly, fair ladies," said Mr. Debit; "do not say harsh things of my beloved
and honored wife after all she has done for
you. Pray, are all ~oer things paid for?
and before the words were fairly out of lils
mouth began another splitting and tearing,
cutler than the first, but accompanied by
"Ohs!" and "Ahs!"in bass and treble, by
shrieks of dismay and shouts of laughter,
and by frantic boltings and scurryings from
sight iii to the dressing - rooms. Rorrors
what was happening to us? Were our very
clothes that were not paid for leaving us?
Yes, and but too surely. Boots and slippers
tore themselves off~ and scampered out of the
house, leaving sometimes socks full of holes
behind them; or, worse yet, dusty feet which
their owners would fain have called on their
trousers to hide. A perfect storm of white
gloves swept through the air, some of them
carrying with them, alas! beautiful solitaire
diamonds, which had wrenched themselves
off of white fingers, whose owners had foiadly
deemed them placed there forever. Buttons
and hooks - and - eyes burst off, side - seams
nave way, and ladies wlio had been radiant in
rainbow silks or bewildering in cloudy gauze,
suddenly stood blushing in corset and crinoline. In some cases merely the overskirt or
the trimmiugs went, and then again only the
work of the poor, unpaid seamstress would
vanish, and leave the dress about the lady's
feet in pieces. Perhaps the cruelest thing I
noticed was an exquisite lace shawl that rent
itself in two, and left one of its halves pinned
to a lady's shoulder, while the other whisked
off up the chimney. A coiffure of golden
puffs and curls that I had particularly admired
above a pretty face disappeared bodily, and
left only a straw-colored wisp twisted tightly
up with a hair-pin. Indeed, much real hair
was torn out by the "switches," and curls
that tugged at combs and hairpins, so that
they could get away and be gone. Carved
combs and fans, ear-rings and bracelets, lockets and 71;1654]necklaces-many were the luckless
fair ones who suddenly found themselves bereft of one or the other of these auxiliaries to
their beauty, and ingenuous youths not a few
became sadly aware that the seal-ring, the
watch -chain, the studs, or the charms, that
they had been wearing with such secret satisfaction, were no longer visible to the naked
eye. I saw the butterfly wife of a Wall-Street
broker put up her hand convulsively to clutch
a jeweled necklace that she had just been displaying to an envious friend as her husband's
last gift' but, to the delight of the envious
friend, it slid like an eel through her fingers.
I pitied a modest school - mistress whose
burning blushes showed that she kn~w, without feeling, that the string of Roman pearls
which liad encircled her round throat, and for
which she had run in debt a dollar and a half
the day before, was gone. And how devoutly
I hoped that they, and also my new sleevebuttons, would be found to - morrow at the
places where we had purchased them, and
that we shouldn't both lose iliem and have to
pay for them!
All this woful transformation of Mrs.
Credit's guests took but a moment, and,
after rushing pell - mall for our respective
dressing - rooms, we could not, amid all our
Imortification and dismay, help screaming with
laughter over the revelations we had just wit iiessed, as well as at our mutual plight. The
greatest swell in society had lost his entire
outer suit from top to toe, but he had thereby
displayed an under one of blue knitted silk
with socks to match, which he said would be
a consolation to him to the end of his life.
Another, who bolted in "laughing consumed was suddenly sobered by seeing his own
-or, rather, his dentist's-teeth grinnh~g
back fi-om the air on their own account.
Of course, many gentlemen buttoned up their
coats aiid took their hats and their departure
iii conscious virtue; but in any, too, were
minits one garment, and many another. One
poor fellow, who had been paying for his
evening clothes by installments, retained them
all but the left half of his swallow-tailed
coat. Our overcoats and hats were lying
about upon the bare floor, and not a few of
us could not find wherewithal to cover our selves before leaving the house. There was
no use trying to lend each other any thh~g the article would twitch itself out of the bor rower's hand and return to its owner, so that
there was nothing for it but to set out for our
respective dwellings, all coatleas, bootless,
and trouserless, as some of us were. I my self had to walk hatless home. And why,
dear reader? Because I had not had the
money to pay for iny hat when I bought it?
No; but because, like most of my sex, I al ways feel that I am impoverishing myself if
I pay cash for my purchases. The true aeon omy is to charge them, and pay for them by
a check when the bills are sent in. For don't you see?-one has the use of the money
all that much time ~ha longer!
At last, we all sallied fort! into the morn ing chill of the streets, aiid happy were the
guests whose carriage, horses, and coach in an,
were all four awaiting them! Establishments
coiisisting of a carriage and harness, but with
neither horses nor coachman-of a carriage
and one horse, but no harness - of hm~sas,
and a coachman standing on the giomad
holding the reins, but no carriage - were
some of the combinations that met the aye,
and many a distressed damsel and delicat&
lady saw I set out to trudge home on foot some of them in stocking-feet, for their little
boots had fled to the shoem~kar, perhaps
even to the manufacturer, to find an owner.
But all this was only the beginning.
Worse, far worse, was at hand. Not only for
Mrs. Credit's fashionable acquaintance had
the day of reckoning arrived-for no sooner
were we all out of liar great mansion than from
its portals issued forth a sinister band of tnin~
peters in black uniforms, who went up and
down tbrough the streets, shouthig in stan t9rian tones: "~h~. 1)ebit has come! "-" JIr
~e6it has come!" and at once the fi~rce of
gravitation was annihilated, and pan demo nium itself seemed let loose. Furniture
poured out of doors and windows, stone and
bricks and boards separated, roofs rosa, and,
all mounting in the air, sailed off in countless
directions, while families, who a moment be fore had been taking theii' morning naps in
comfortable bad 5 found themselves shivering
and choking with plaster-dust in the cellar.
I rushed to my own boarding-place. Luckily,