More of It [pp. 5]

JANUARY 5, 1861.]
VANITY FAIR.
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PANIC PRICES.
Aspiring Youth.-"COME, COM-KNIVES 1S AT PANIC PRICES EVER SINCE MULLIGAN
WENT UP TO SING-SING. HERE'S THREE CENTS FOR THE BIG'UN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
BOARD!'"
youth is imaginative, and that after all, STUYvEsANT may have
been a very proper person to introduce to young people making
the grand tour. That in Germany his iniquity may have been
restricted to Rhein-wein and SeltEer water, in Paris to seeing immoral comedies which he did not understand, and in Spain to
chucking orange-girls under the chin, while he paid double-price
for their fruit, on consideration of that rakish privilege thrown in.
When you began to know STUYvEsANT, you discovered that his
wickedness was all hypocrisy, and saw the lamb's tail through the
wolf's skin.
hi true growing up. He went a good deal into society, and was
adored by all young ladies, on the strength of his fascinatingly unpious reputation. He did considerable flirting, had an affair pith
a lady old enough to be his mother, which led her to giving him a
great deal of good advice, and introducing him to her dghters. He
became the Agamemnon of Lancer parties-gave private champagne
spreads-wrote an account of his tour, interspersed with moral
reflections-came to the conclusion that he was too old to reform
-burnt up the tour-and finally awoke one morning, to find himself twenty five, and in all valuable respects, very young at that.
of his son, and being furthermore struck with the chronological
fact that it was now high time for STUYVEsANT to have sown his
last wild oats-invited him one evening to that ridiculously superfluous apartment of a New York business-man, called his "study"
-and held the conversation with him reported in this previous
recital.
tion, descended from the Napoleon-at-Fontainbleau attitude, and
exclaimed to his son,
"Well, sir! You shea have an establishment of your own!"
After his return to New York, the innocent villain began to get
ISAIAH PRIMPENNY having meanwhile come to the same opinion
At the end of ten minutes ISAIAH looked out from his abstrac
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Under dun.
Rare steaks had in these days; also, the poor D.D's defaulting
debtors,You Know, when asked to pay up.
On Pickles.
To preserve Onions, you have only to put
them into a good, strong pickle: while, on
the contrary, Unions are difficult to preserve
in proportion to the intensity of the pickel
into which they are put.
Both articles are safe for a Mess.
Bad as can be.
A friend of ours, who was badly beaten at
euchre the other day, when he expected an
easy victory, desires to know in what way
heL resembles Mazeppa's Captors? Because
he caught a Tartar of the Ukraine breed.
Bacchic Deduction.
If spiritous intoxication is called "Halfseas-over," the intoxication of Malt must be
called "Half-'n'-half-seas-over."
Anatomical.
The tip of the elbow is sometimes termed
the Funny Bone-on account, perhaps, of its
vicinity to the Humerus.
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By our Philadelphia,Contributor.
If the South Carolina Convention had remained at Columbia, what sort of a nation
would have been organized?
Vy, a vaccination.
By our Hifalutinist.
" President BUCHANAN is branded by the
age with the mark of infancy."
Just-so. Epoch marked.
How to meet a Bankrupt.
Take no note of him.

MORE OF IT.
Another Big Defalcation!
Nothing wonderful at any time. But this is a roaring, tearing,
blazing crusher of a Defalc. One snapping and slapping right
through government, in among the politicians, bang into parties
and sections and feuds and national convulsions. A Big Thing,
Gentlemen, a big theft, a stupendous mess of rascality and infamy,
We like to see these things come out, occasionally. We like to
see the scoundrelly politicians and humbugs, thieves and parasites
of all kinds who gather in Washington, get an occasional'shaking
out-a good ninety-four red hot shot-a small earthquake and a
dose of lightning.' We decidedly and exactly Do. It is' a powerful Refreshment.
And oh-how piquant to see Buncombe and bluster, and gabbling, sectional, fire-devouring, ferocious, provincial Devotion
suddenly ice-watered by being proved to be Swindling in Disguise.
How grand to see Captain Terrible turn out a sneak-thief,after all.
How delicious to see ROBERT MACAIRE indignantly refusing to stop
a single instant in the house-i-after he had the Spoons in his
pocket I
And there is more behind it all. Plenty more. Gentlemen, we
Know you. We know what is, and always has'been, behind your
rant, and palaver, and foaming speeches. TIIEVERY has been
behind it- and it will be well ripped up, and the Darkness shall
come to light. Men don't keep the upper hand for so many years
at Washington without doing many a foul deed. We are only at
the Beginning.
Two more of Them.
Messrs. CHANG an ENG, the Siamese Twins,have declared publicly
that they are in favor of the "Union asit is," whether the Original
Compact was right or not.
By our Salesman Contributor.
The worst kind of Dry-goods for Skaters: Fall Clothing.
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