Book Notice [pp. 11]

JANUAIRY 5, 1861.]
VANITY FAIR.
11
II; l ilt ii iii!: n, -.
~
An Extravagant Thief
We clip the following from an exchange
paper:
"KNOCKED DowN BY A BUNDoE Or qSLYFR.-A thief
with a bundle, being questioned by a policeman in
New Orleans early one recentmorning, threw the pack
age at him, knocking him down. The bundle contained $3000 worthl of silver, stolen the night before."
Thus it is that the habits of reckless prodigality acquired at -the South, ever lead the
impulsive inhabitants of that section of the
Union to acts of the most culpable extravagance.:tIn.this glad.North of ours how different! -Ten dollars, judiciously- applied, has
been known to strike two. policemen speechless. Once, indeed, having entered a Broadway ganmbling saloon-for the purpose of
studying character-we remarked a slight
difficulty near the door, between the proprietors and a policeman, when, horrible to relate, one of the former drew a five-dollar
bill, anrd, striking thlie latter smartly upon
the palm with it, blew him up the basement
steps with a force that utterly destroyed his
memory, and paralyzed his'tongue. It is
good to live at the North. -
Yes! How?
How is it that the advertised list of letters in our Post Office, is "officially published
.in, the paper-having the greatest circulation," in two dailies at once? -
Sound on the Duck.
NOT IN THE BILL OF FARE.
.Excited Persont.-" WAITER!-HERFE! —Hi!-I CALLED FOR EGGoos, AND YOU'VE BROUGHT
ME CHICKEN ON THE HALF-SHELL-!"

GUNNY-BAGS AND CINDERS.
These are bad times. Bad for the poor, who must fast whether
they will or not: bad for the rich, who, according to'proclamation
issued by the President of these United States, are expected to
humiliate themselves very much, with their seediest clothes on
and their unfestive boards laid out in a small way with food and
drink of a depressing tendency, on the Fourth of January, 1861.
On account of the festive character heretofore borne by the first
week in January, this business of abstaining from riotous joy and
postponing wantonness, if properly carried out, ou,ght to be very
effective. We once saw a combustible old woman, upon whom
conflagration had unexpectedly come through a crack in a camphene lamp, very promptly extinguished by the application of a
wet blanket.
We don't mean to point at anybody in particular as having upset the national Kerosene illuminator: but if JAMES BUCHANAN
knows who did, he-is quite justified in getting out his wet blanket.
If he had strong men enough about him-which doesn't happen to
be the case, however-it -would not be a bad thing for him to toss
all the States of the Union together in a moist coverlet of the
kind referred to. They might find themselves shaken into their
proper positions by such a process-the right States in the right
places. Connecticut on the Mississippi would be a sight to travel
after; though it might be bad for euchre and pernicious to bluff.
And yet this sack-cloth and ashes is a queer old thing to do.
Conservative, perhaps, and more or less romantic, as sack-cloth
and ashes. But suppose we paraphrase the thing a little, and
speak of those dolorous materials as Gunny-Bags and Cinderswhat then? Nothing: except that a procession of people got up
in that kind of costume is of -course the likeliest kind of thing to
save the Union. For making New Year's calls it would be just
the thing; as, although identical with sack-cloth and ashes, it has
a more cheerful sound.
If something would be acceptable to illustrate the efficacy of the
gunny-bags and cinders cure, here it is.
Among the sportsman's "halls of dazzling light" with which
this pleasant city is provided, there is one containing an amphi
'Ihe reason announcements of a certain
class are,- termed Quack, advertisements, is
because they souind like Canards.
Sl'ashed Doublets.
Slashed DouBlets.,;-'''
Mutilated Twins.
theatre of Roman tendencies, in which such formidable wild beasts
as raccoons and Mexican pigs are woirried by dogs, which are likewise instructed to "go in" at each other, in the manner recommended by the late Dr. ISAAC WATTS in one of his most popular
melodies. The proprietor of this arena advertises that, on account
of the Fourth of January being set apart for grieving on, he has
organized a great sparring tournament for the occasion. Prizes
are offered by him to three kinds of fighting men- middling-sized
ones, light weights, and the minimum chickens known as
"feathers." This tilt is to'take place in the arena hitherto sacred
to the Dog and his quarry. Thus, it is cheering to know that if
our country is going to the Dogs, President BUCHANAN has provided
the latter with a holiday, in order that they may receive it in a
suitable manner.
For ourselves, we have' neglected to provide a suit of Gunnybags and Cinders; but if the Fourth of January turns out to be-a
cold day, We shall probably confer with our old friends TOM and
JEaRRY. as to the possibility of saving the Union in some cheerful
way.

Book Notice.. A new book, entitled "Travels in the Regions of the Upper and
Lower Amoor," has been incorrectly described by a random critic
as a romance, founded upon love episodes, in the upper and lower
walks of life. This is incorrect, as the following, from another
kind of critic, will show
It will be found a highly interesting book of travels by those who read for
amusement, or those who read for instruction, and the illustrations are enough to
make one long for the time when a trip up the Amoor shall be as easy as a trip up
the Rhine.
Alack! and well-a-day! many a trip up has the Amour caused
to the susceptible of both sexes: but as for expecting a tirme
"when a trip up the Amoor shall be as easy as a trip up the Rhine,"
the thing couldn't be done by any means short of a repeal of
that well-known law of nature and of SHAKESPEARF, by which it is
laid down that
", The course of true love nev,.r did run smooth."1
It
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