Memoirs of Mrs. Hawkes, late of Islington. By Catharine Cecil [pp. 239-271]

17lIenoii-s of,Ih's. dawktes.'
to go on my way rejoicing, that I did great things; and that whatever might
befal, I should never be cast down, or affrighted. But now where is mly
strength? It is very weakness. Now where is my triumph? I am become
dumb. Evermore after this, I must lay my hand upon my mouth. It is easy
to be joyous in sunshine. I fear I have been very prone toself-conceit and high
minidedness.
"The flesh is ready to cry out,' It is haid:' such a one, and such a one, is
exempt from my afflictions, they dwell among their own people, and can lie
down at night upon their own pillow, none making them afraid. But woe beto
me, if after all the experience I have had, Satan prevails to make me think my
Saviour a hard master. No! whom he loveth he chasteneth. It is not for a
si7nner to say, Why may I not have this or that? and therefore, it is not for me.
My afflictions are far less than I deserve, and mly meicies far above my highest
expectations.
" Never say, I have no propensity to this or that particular failing,-stay, till
that trial or temptation comes, to prove it.
"In recollecting seasons and scenes that are past, the pleasant things only
are present to the mind; the painful are forgotten, or leave but a slight impressionI. The conviction of this, should be moderate present grief."
While at Mr. Cecil's, and confined to her chamber by
sickness, the Rev. John Newton paid a visit to his friend,
and hearing, while at dinner, that Mirs. Hawkes was sick in
bed, he said to Mrs. Cecil, 1"You should have told me of
this before," and immediately arose, and went to her room,
and prayed with her. WVhen he returned to the company,
he said,' Great characters are not made by walking on carpets."
Mrs. Hawkes spent the months of June and.Jtly with her
sister at Birminghamn; froi thince she went to Weather-oakhill, the seat of her late biother in law, Mr. Mynors. In
her diary, while at this plaice. she makes the following
remark. "Retirement tells us ashat wfe should be, but active
life tells us what we are." From this place she went to
Cowes. While residing here, shie received an affectionate,
cheering letter from her pastorI, accompanied with a cordial
invitation to return to his house. She was also visited at
Cowes, by a female fi iend and relative, AMiss Miary Milward,
a young lady of eminent piety, who has since been called to
her rest, after a long, and ho.ourable Christian course, maintained under severe bodily sufferings.
Mrs. Hawkes was now literally a sojourner; for though
we find her, in the beginning of October, at Cowes, when her
mind seems to have been calm and comfortable; yet in the
close of the month, she is again at Portsmouth. And the
only entry in her diary at this place commences with the
bitter language of Job. " Even to day is my complaint bitter, my stroke is heavier than my groaning." In November, Mrs. HIawkes returned to London, not to enjoy repose,
VOL. XI. NO. 2. 34
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