Memoirs of Mrs. Hawkes, late of Islington. By Catharine Cecil [pp. 239-271]

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deplorable melanchloly. Still, however, she held fast to the
covenant of her God(, and rolled her burdens on his arm.
Her husband having some openings which appeared favourable in Portsmouth, Mrs. Hawkes resorted to that place to
join him. And while here she had a very narrow escape
from drowning, while bathing in the sea.
Being now entirely destitute of a house or home, Mrs.
Hawkes knew not what to do, and in a letter consulted her
kind friend and pastor. Mr. and Mlrs. Cecil were then at
Battersea, where Mr. JHenry Thornton had kindly offered
them the use of his house. In this kind family there was
neither reluctance nor hesitation in inviting Mrs. Hawkes to
take up her abode with them.
In the following reflections entered in her journal about
this time, there is a strain of tender, devoutt, and sorrowful
feeling, which cannot be read without emotion.
"Feb. 10.-' When my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord taketh
me up.' This I am sure has been my experience. In a dreadful tempest that
has swept away all my pleasant things. God has graciously provided a shelter
for me, and found me the kindest parents, brothers, and sisters, friends, in the
whole world. Nothing can equal the tenderness I experience every hour of the
day in this Christian house. I am ashamred and confounded that I am not more
thankful:-that my heart so steals to its former much-loved haunts. How many
have my afflictions, without many mercies!
"' When I would comfort myself against sorrow, my heart is faint in me.'
"Oh my sweet honme!-my lovely fields!-my secret chamber! How often
have I fled like an afrighted bird to your sacred retirement!-how often poured
out tears of anguish, and received comforts which the world could neither give
nor take away!
"I thought myself more secure in my home, because it was given me in a
time of deep trouble, and in answer to many prayers:-because, in the best
manner I could, I dedicated it to God; and promised that, as far as I could ensure, it should never be made the reception of the gay and the giddy.
"Witness ye solitary walks! ye walls and beams of my chamber! if I took
any delight in you equal to that of holding sweet intercourse with an unseen,
but to me, gracious and present God and Saviour! My pleasures were sacred
pleasures; and such as made large amends for my troubles. I had much leisure,
but always found the day too short for my employ. Beloved spot! how can I
bear the thought of giving it up! my imagination visits every corner,-counts
every pane of glass;-nothing is too minute to be remembered. Rather let my
recollection retrace my former dedication, when I first took possession of that
retreat, and mark with shame my deviations.' Behold the Lord's hand is not
shortened that it cannot save; nor his ear heavy that he cannot hear.'
" I endeavour to call to remembrance some of my bitter things at Holloway.
I had many, very many;-but the bitter was so much sweetened by manifold
mercies, that I ought to have felt nothing but thankfulness: whereas, I often
murmured.
"Great trials prove what strength we have. I have been greatly deceived in
myself herein; and have thought far more highly of myself than I ought to
think: for I thought, that because I was enabled to weather the trials and troubles I then had, with some degree of courage, and even through all, generally,