Mr. Hobgobb [pp. 222-225]

2[MTARCB
MR. HOBGOBB.
BY KLUTZ.
Mrs. Scrouge, very preposterously,
asked if I would not like a room-mate?
Lying most profoundly, I said that I would
like it very well, indeed.
"If you have any ol)jection"-began
she:
"None, my dear lady, none," was my
reply. "Man was not made," I said,
"to be an eremite: he is eminently a
social creature. We flock together likelike-like-" I hesitated about the
simile.
"Sheep," naively and timidly suiggested Mrs. Scrouge.
"Or wolves," added I, bowing; "and
when one of us affects the solitude of'a
stricken deer,' it is that the crowd avoid
him-not he the crowd."
"And I am sure," said Mrs. S., suavely,
"that you are not a stricken deer."
" Net dear, yet stricken!" was my
answer, pressing my hand upon my
heart.
Going to my room-all mine, alas, no
longer-I sat me down to meditate: "If,"
my meditation ran, "if this proposed
chum of mine is cleanly in his habits, intelligent, kindly, and slightly imbued
with the sweet spirit of literature, we
shall live harmoniously together: if not,
(there's the rub!) why, there'll be a sudden separation-a secession —a dissolution. I will not," rising before my mirror, and contracting my fingers and brows
at my own reflection, "I will not submit
to the intrusion of a fellow who will offend every sense, shock every nerve, and
rack every fine fitcutlty of imy being. A
wretch," said I aloud(, still speaking to
my mirrored self, " with red hair, green
eyes, freckles arid hirsute hands; who
says, yoturn, bern, and percisely! or else,
indeed, no indeed, yes indeed-a fool, indeed-who, in fine, will desecrate this retreat heretofore made sacred to the ten
muses-tihe first whereof by mortal
parents christened Emily. Never," I
cried, "shall he breathe this air, every
particle of which has vocalized her name,
has wafted my melodious sighs to her,
and which is the very expiration and inspiration of the most devoted love!"
lie came: a youth labouring under the
name of Ilobgobb! Ie was ai good-looking fellow. A clear, rosy complexion,
black hair, fine teeth, bligh,lt eyes, and a
neat dress. lie brought too much baggage with him, though. It crowded and
lumbered the apartmnent-every place'
everything. The trunks, boxes, cases,
&c., were even too numerous to mention.
One long, shallow affatir, of curious shape,
particularly drew my attention. I looked
at it steadfastly.
"It's a fiddle," said Mr. II., remarking
my fixed gaze; " do you play?"
"No!" I replied, "but,
'Music hath charms to soothe the savage
b reast,
To solften rocks, or bend the knotted oak.'"
"And," said my gentleman flippantly,
"as the dancing-master remarked,
'Thie man that hathli no music in his sole,
Nor is not moved with concord of sweet
solunds,
Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils!'"
" Ia, ha, ha!" joining my laugh with
his, out of due complaisance;' "but
Shakspeare does not say' his soul,' but
'himself.'"
"Shakspeare may say what he pleases,"
rejoined iitobgobb, "I didn't get it from
him."
"0, ah, beg pardon!" said I.
It was evening, cold and wet. A good
wood-fire wats blazing on the hearth, and,
preparing myself comfiortably t!terefor, I
began to read. I was just entering that
seventh heaven to which pure literature
sometimes exalts us, when I became
painfully conscious of a jar and jangle
in the music of the spheres around mle.
Tink, tinlk! plang, plang! tung!
Tink, tink! plang, plang! tung, toonk, tune
Mr. HIobgobb was endeavouring, spasmodically, to tune a red-looking violin!
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