Bachelor Philosophy [pp. 730]

73 Bah-rPioopy O~BR
She's blushing all the time, lov'd girl!
Cheek, neck and brow the flood runs over,
What can you do, but kiss that curl.
Blest hour! kind angel! happy lover!
BACHELOR PHILOSOPHY.
BY LEWIS J. CIST.
Ay! tis man's best philosophy! when woman proves untrue,
The loss of one should only teach to make another do!
O. W. Holmes.
"BACHELORS.-These gentlemen accept all the pleasures of society, and support none of its expenses. They
(line out, and are not expected to give dinners in return.
Instead of taking a Box by the year, they buy an admission
for life; their carriage only holds two; and they are never
obliged to sit down with a dowager. Weddings, christenings, fites-nothing comes amiss to them. They are never
called papa; they are not regularly assailed with milliners,'
staymakers', and jewellers' bills. We never see them rnining themselves in suits for conjugal rights; to them "La
belle Mere" is destitute of point, and they yawn at "La
Femmejalouse." They are never Godfathers for reciprocity;
they sleep in peace during the best part of the morning;
leave balls when they like; and invest money in the funds!"
Quarterly Review.
I.
I'm fairly sick of it!-to hear, and read,
In trashy novels, and in vapid plays,
Of "true-love crossed,"-" hearts broken"-stuff indeed
May A ell a man of common sense amaze:
To break one's heart! the very thing's absurd,
And never hath been done by mortal manBy mortal woman, an' you'll take my word,
Not only never hath, but never can!
Such puerile nonsense is but fit for fools,
Or, (quite the same,) young girls at boarding-schools!
II.
A broken heart!-Ay!'tis methinks, the word;
And yet'tis more than "passing strange" to me,
That any thing of which so much is heard,
And read, and spoken, we should never see;
At least, I'm sure I never have seen one Though candor does require me to confess
I do believe that Stickville's famous son
Reports one, doubtless an authentic case;
But he, in his own folly, nmet his fate,
Stri'.ing to lift too ponderous a weight!
III.
And yet 1 frankly own, " there was a time" Albeit ashamed my folly to acknowledge;
However that was long before my prime,
In fact,'tswas in my boyish days at college;
1 then but verged upon discretion's brink,
And hence perhaps was not so much to blame;Time was though, I was fool enough to think
That love was not a fiction-a mere name!
That there were vows might constancy betoken,
And that some fond hearts might perhaps be broken.
IV.
Since then, however, I've had leisure given Long years of thought, deep, sad and melancholy,
In which to reconcile myself with Heaven,
And to repent my most egregious folly
In dreaming of the possibility,
In such an all-perfidious world as this,
Of honest love, or perfect constancy,
Or truth in fickle woman's treacherous kiss;
Tho', on this score, I haven't much to grieve,
Indeed it's what I never did believe!
v.
I am not a misanthropist, I'm sure;
I can admire fair Nature, and I do1 love the bright, the beautiful, the pure,
And childhood innocent, and manhood true;
And I admire a pretty woman's face —
(I might indeed declare I think'tis all
To be admired about her-let it pass And o'er her frailties let the curtain fall;)
Yet was I never one of those weak things
Who think her "all an angel-save the wings!"
VI.
But yet a something there might be, I thought
In man's deep love, and woman's fond caressHer truth and constancy, and-God knows what!
I've long since found but words of emptiness:
I even dreamed I might be broken-hearted,
Should she-my young heart's idol, prove untrue;
Well! she did so!-as easily we parted,
As one would throw aside a worn-out shoe:
A little touched my heart might be, but then
It very soon grew sound and whole again.
VII.
And now I've come to think with Dr. Holmes (Who, by the way's a very clever fellow,)
He's but a fool, who at the falsehood foams
Of any SHE that ever trod prunella.
Reader! the wisest thing that you can do I've tried the plan and know that it will answer,
Whene'er one lovely charmer proves untrue,
Is-just to get another, soon as you can, sir:
Though for myself, when one fair proved untrue,
For her I e'en made several dozen do!
VIII.
And so I take things easy-rove about,
And love each pretty woman that I meet,
Devotedly-until I find her out
To be (as are they all) but fair deceit:
Yet when I find her so, I do not grieve I look not now to find her any other;
So I but make my bow and take my leave,
And cruize around until I meet another
To strike my fancy;-she's not hard to find
In my contented present state of mind.
IX.
True! once it no such easy matter seemed;
But that was at an early time of life,
The when-a silly crack-brained youth, I dreamed
Of love and moonshine, marriage and a wife:
Thank heaven, that snare's escaped! and now it is
A most indifferent trifling sort of matter,
To find a dozen pretty girls, to kiss,
Flirt with, make love to, dance, and smile, and chatter;
Although my eyes I have to keep wide open,
That none to matrimony me may dupe in!
x.
But, ah! a most delightful thing 1 find
This sipping sweets from each enchanting flowerStill free to wander on and leave behind
Untastedl, all its bitter and its sour:
And when some flow'ret fades, whose lovely form,
If all mine own,'twould kill me to resign,
I turn to others, yet with beauty warm,
And thank kind heaven the treasure was not mine!
Let Benedicts then boast of child and wifeBe mine the bachelor's free and merry life!
Fiddler's Green, October, 1841.
730
Bachelor Philosophy.
[OCTOBV,lt,