The Way He Won Her [pp. 770-775]

Skenando.-The Way He Won Her.
given the world an improved loco-foco match;
(warranted to keep in any climate.) Nature, bythe
friction of a couple of dry twigs, furnishes him the
last in abundance, and the first he leaves to the in genuity of our Northern brethren. It is also said,
he has never improved upon a mouse-trap, nor has
he ever been known to attempt the long-desired per petual motion-justly regarding these hobbies as
too hacknied for a man of his ambition and acquire ments;-inimpossible, he never regards any thing.
Every man has his hobby-horse, but some will
ride their's with a more furious speed and deter mined resolution than others. We have before in timated that the hobby of Theophilus is the Medi cal Science generally, but its practice in particu lar. Domitian when impaling a fly, doubtless en joyed the sport as much as he of Shandy notoriety,
when releasing one; but neither of these worthies
could feel the perfect ecstacy which fills the heart
of Mr. Briggs, when called on to minister to the
diseases of some luckless patient. Not that he is
(to use his own words) a "riglar pactitioner," but
he feels such confidence in his peculiar method of
treatment, as to think success a necessary result
of the means employed, and consequently, that
he must enjoy the eternal gratitude of the for tunate wight who might seek his aid. "First prin ciples," he will say, "onerly stick to first principles,
an' you may radicate any disease." It may be
thought from this specimen of his colloquial pow ers, that Doctor Briggs is not a gentleman of the
most refined education, and such is the fact, but he
has treasured up an infinite number of big words,
which he often uses to the vast edification of his
audience. Whether they are used with discretion,
the sequel must show.
Mrs. Briggs is a woman with a remarkably be nevolent, but at the same time inquisitive face;
forming a most happy medium between a note of
interrogation, and a search-warrant. To a casual
observer, her chin would seem to offer defiance to
her nose, but one view of her mild, good-natured
lip, would assure him that there was a peace-maker
between them. Polly Briggs has a great respect
for the Doctor's knowledge, but possesses also a
materia medica of her own, formed of the most
ludicrous notions and materials. She can cure a
swelling by a method nearly allied to animal magnetism, and which may serve Col. Stone for some
t,fture paper upon that subject. Mrs. Briggs has
only to place her left hand (the left, mark you) upon
the diseased part, when the moon is on its increase,
(mark that again,) and then pronounce with a solemn voice and an upturned face,
" As youl increase,
Let this dlecrease,"
and the swelling subsides immediately. In cutaneous diseases, she excels. "Warts," she is accustomed to say, "are not nothin' at al; onerly rub
them aginst the fence whar the hogs is in the habit
Dear Sir:-In the,Intercepted Correspondence, No.
II"-published in your last number, you have given us a
pretty tale of " Skenando"-a well known Indian Chief,
of the Oneida tribe. I call add something to his history
In the Summer of 1798, l was appointed a Commissioner,
on the part of the United States, to attend a treaty to be
made between the state of New-York and the Oneida Indians at their village. I spent a week there on this business; Skenando then lived there, and was said to be about
ninety years old-of course I visited him. His house was
far in advance of the others in the village, in comfort and
convenience; it was a small but neat frame building, supplied with the ordinary articles for house-keeping in a plain
style, such as chairs, tables and cooking utensils; I was
particularly struck with the cleanliness that was found in
his humble dwelling. But the object which attracted most
attention was his beautiful wife, a young Indian, or as I was
told, a half-breed, her father having been a white man. She
was about nineteen years of age; in the symmetry of her
person, the regularity of her features, the bright and modest
expression of her eyes and countenance, she was truly a
beautiful creature. The old man was a noble specimen of
his race; he was tall and muscular, admirably formed for
activity and strength, and, even at that great age, erect in
his carriage. His manners were courteous but grave. He
died some years after, but whether in the mainner described
by your correspondent or not, 1 have no information.
Very truly,
Uncle Theophilu s Briggs is one of a class by no
means uncommon in our country, for Uncle Theo,
or Doctor Theo, as he is occasionally styled by the
courtesy of his neighbors, is a Projector. Perhaps
Theophilus ha s acquired his titl e upon the same
principl e t hat the Fate s are called the Parcae-ParCaI, qui non parcebant; for, to speak the truth, the
success of his practice is somewhat doubtful. That
every thing is for the best, Mr. Briggs thinks an
axiom peculiarly absurd —a decided hallucination,
having a tendency to passive obedience, which he
abhors. " Man never is, but always to be blest,"
is a line which he speaks well of in some respects,
but he is imbued with a belief as firm as the hills,
that he can change the negative of the sentencemaking him blest-emphatically so. We have
said that Theophilus is a projector, but this must be
taken with some limitation. Briggs has a theory
for every thing, but its application he does not often
attempt to carry out in practice. He has never
made a wooden-clock (warranted to strike the hour),
neither, as far as our knowledge extends, has he
770
[NovI,:MF,ER,
SKENANDO.
We give with pleasure the following statement, as a supplement to the article of our correspondent A. D. G., in
the last issue of the Messenger.
PHILADF,LPHIA, Oct. 17, 1840.
Mr. T. W. WHITE.
Yours,
J. H.
THE WAY HE WON HER.