Critical Notices [pp. 326-340]

SOUTHERN LITERARY MIESSENGEtR.
as being perfectly characteristic of the author's peculiar
style.
There exists perhaps in creation no animal which has
less justice and more injustice done to him by man than
the pig. Gifted with every faculty of supplying himself, and of providing even against the approaching
storm, which no creature is better capable of foretelling
than a pig, we begin by putting an iron ring throuigh the
cartilage of his nose, and having thus barbarously deprived him of the power of searching for, and analyzing
his food, we generally condemn him for the rest of his
life to solitary confinement in a sty.
While his faculties are still his own, only observe how,
with a bark or snort, he starts if you approach him, and
mark what shrewd intelligence there is in his bright,
twinkling little eye; but with pigs, as with mankind,
idleness is the root of all evil. The poor animal, finding
that he has absolutely nothing to do-having no enjoyment-nothing to look forward to but the pail which
feeds him, naturally most eagerly, or as we acccuse him,
most greedily, greets its arrival. Having no natural business or di,version-nothing to occupy his brain-the
whole powers of his system are directed to the digestion
of a superabundance of food. To encourage this, nature assists himn with sleep, which ltilling his better faculties, leads his stomach to become the ruling power of
his system-a tyrant that can bear no one's presence
but his own. The poor pig, thus treated, gorges him self-sleeps-eats again-sleeps-wakens in a fiight screams-struggles against the blue apron-screams
fainter and fainter-turns up the whites of his little eyes
-and-dies!
It is probably from abhorring this picture, that I know
of nothing whichl is more distressing to tme than to wit ness an indolent man eating his own home-fed por-k.
There is something so horribly similar between the
life of the human being and that of his victim-their
notions on all stubjects are so unnaturally contiltacted there is such a mnelancholy resemblance between the
strutting residence in the village, and the stalking con finement in the sty-between the sound of the dinner bell and the rattling of the pail-between snoring in an
armchair and grunting in clean straw-that, when I con trast the " pig's countenance" in the dish with that of
his lord and master, who, with outstretched elbows, sits
leaning over it, [ own I always feel it is so hard the one
should have killed the other.-In short there is a sort of
" Tu quoque, BRUTE!" moral in the picture, which to
my mind is most painfully distressing.
The author thus speaks in relation to the mineral
water of Wiesbaden.
In describing the taste of the mineral water of Wies baden, were I to say, that while drinking it, one hears
in orie's ears the cackling of hens, and that one sees
feathers flying before onie's eyes, I should certainly
grossly exaggerate; but when I declare that it exactly
resembles very hot chicken-broth, I only say what Dr.
Granville said, and what in fact everybody says, and
must say, respecting it; and certainly I do wonder why
the common people should be at the inconvenience of
making bad soup, when they can get much better from
nature's great stock pot-the Koch-brunnen of Wies baden. At all periods of the year, summer or winter,
the temperature of this broth remains the same, and
when one reflects that it has been bubbling out of the
ground, and boiling over in the same state, certainly
flom the time of the Romans, and probably from the
time of the flood, it is really astonishing to think what
a most wonderful apparatus there must exist below, what
an inexhaustible stock of provisions to ensure such an
everlasting supply of broth, always formed of exactly
the same degree, and always served up at exactly the
same heat.
One woulil think that some of the particles in the
recipe would be exhausted; in short, to speak meta phorically, that the chickens would at last be boiled to
rags, or that the fire would go out for want of coals;
but the oftener one reflects on these sort of subjects, the
oftener is the old-fashioned observation repeated, that
let a man go where he will, Omnipotence is never from
his view.
It is good they say for the stomach-good for the
skin-good for ladies of all possible ages-for all sorts
and conditions of men. For a headache, drink, the
inn-keepers exclaim, at the Koch-brunnen. For gout
in the heels, soak the body, the doctors say, in the
hicken-broth!-in short, the valetudinarian, reclining
in his carriage, has scarcely entered the town, saywhat
he will of himself, the inhabitants all seem to agree in
repeating-" Belle bene respondere, dignus est intrare
nostro docto corpore!"
There was something to my mind so very novel in
bathing in broth, that I resolved to try the experiment,
particularly as it was the only means I had of following
the crowd. Accordingly, retiring to my room, in a minute or two I also, in my slippers and black dressinggown was to be- seen, staff in hand, mournfully wvalking
down the long passage, as slowly and as gravely as if I
had been in such a profession all my life. An infirm
elderly lady was just before me-some lighter-soulnding
footsteps were behind me-but without raising our eyes
from the ground, we all moved on, just as if we had
been corpses gliditng or migrating fiom one church yard
to another.
The door was now closed, and my dressing-gown
being carefully hung upon a peg, (a situation I much
envied it,) I proceeded, considerably against my incli nation, to introduce myself to my new acquaintance,
whose face, or surface, was certainly very revolting;
for a white, thick, dirty, greasy scunm, exactly resem bling what would be on broth, covered the top of the
bath. But all this, they say is exactly as it should be;
and indeed, German bathers at Wiesbaden actually in sist on its appearance, as it proves, they argue, that the
bath has not been used by any one else. In most places
in ordering a warm bath, it is necessary to wait till tihe
water be heated, but at Wiesbaden, the springs are so
exceedingly hot, that the baths are obliged to be filled
over night, in order to be cool enough in the morning;
and the dirty scum I have mentioned is the required proof
that the water has, during that time, been undisturbed.
Resolving not to be bullied by the ugly face of my
antagonist, I entered my bath, and in a few seconds I
lay horizontally, calmly soaking, like my neighbors.
Here is a characteristic crayoning:
As sooni as breakfast was over, I generally enjoyed
the luxury of idling about the town: and, in passing
the shop of a blacksmith, who lived opposite to the
Goldene Kette, the manner in which he tackled and
shod a vicious horse atnused mre. On the outside wall
of the house two rings were firmly fixed, to one of
which the head of the patient was lashled close to the
ground; the hind foot, to be shod, stretched out to the
utmost extent of the leg, was then secured to the other
ring about five feet high, by a cord which passed through
a cloveni hitch, fixed to the root of the poor creature's
tail.
The hind foot was consequently very much higher
than the head; indeed, it was so exalted, and pulled so
heavily at the tail, that the animal seemed to be quite
anxious to keep his otlher feet on terrafirnia. With one
hoof in the heavens, it did not suit him to kick; with
his nose pointing to the infernal regions, he could not
conveniently rear, and as the devil himself was appa.
rently pulling at his tail, the horse at last gave up the
point, and quietly submitted to be shod.
Mr. Fay wishes us to believe that the sale of a book
is the proper test of its merit. To sav e time and trouble we will believe it, and are prepared to acknowledge,
as a consequence of the theory, that the novel of Norman Leslie is not at all comparable to the Memoirs of
Davy Crockett, or the popular lyric of Jim Crow.
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