Memoir of the Ambitious Lawyer [pp. 645-646]

SOUTHERN LITERARY MESSENGER.
For the Southern Literary Messenger.
MEMOIR OF TIHE AMBITIOUS LAWYEIR
NO. I.
Will your honor hear me through, before you pronounce
sentence.-Old Play.
I was the son of a country clergyman, who, passionately fond of literature himself, determined to send me
into the world with a good collegiate education. I
went through the course of study at the University
of, studied hard, graduated with considerable distinction, and was very fully impressed with the idea
that I was a youth of fine parts and acquirements. On
leaving college, I determined to spend a twelvemonth
in recreation and amusement, before I entered upon the
study of a profession.
On my first introduction into the society of the active
world, 1 expected of course, to command that homage
to my superior talents and acquirements which I
thought I so richly merited, and which was so willingly
awarded by the young men at the University of
But I was not only treated with indifference, but contempt. 1 soon acquired the character of a conceited
coxcomb-a dogmatist without knowledge or talents.
Few of the enlightened part of the community condescended to converse with me on equal terms; my challenges for argument, in order to discover my abilities,
were disregarded: and I had the mortification of having
the reputation of a fool, without the opportunity as I
thought, of correcting the impression. This treatment
determined me to anticipate the time I had allotted for
the commencement of the study. of a profession. The
consciousness that I possessed talents, and the illiberal
treatment I conceived I had met with from the world,
excited within me, an ambition of the most corroding
nature. I was determined to extort from an envious
world, that respect which I believed was so unworthily
withheld. I had a restless desire to chalk out my fortunes unassisted. With a single eye to my purpose, I
placed myself somewhat in a hostile attitude to the
world. Such was the uncompromising nature of my
pride, and such the ill-judged confidence in my own
abilities, that I enjoyed no man's friendship, and sought
the patronage of none. In two months after I left the
University of -, I purchased a few books, and commenced the study of the law. For two years, I gave the
most unremitting, untiring attention to my books. M any
nights did I toil over the dry pages of Coke, until the
east was streaked with the approach of returning day.
Many times was my mind so far absorbed, by intense
and abstract thought, that I have been forced suddenly
to throw down my books and count the tiles on the
roof of the house, to recall my aberrated thoughts and
prevent absolute derangement. There is always an
exhilaration of feeling which attends mental excitement,
that renders the life of a student happy; and, while my
health remained unimpaired, my hours of study passed
pleasantly away. But intense application began to affect my health, and consequently my spirits; a melancholy sat continually on my "faded brow." I became
unhappy, without then knowing why; yet I never lost
sight of my unalterable resolve, to make those crouch
to my importance, who had once spurned me from their
presence. Occasionally the idea would recur, "would
it not be better to return to my social feelings, unbosom
myself to my relatives, and be content with the good
VOL. I.82
opinion of those with whom I associated;" but pride
and ambition would soon silence such intimations of
my better nature, and goad me on to the attainment
of my object at any sacrifice. In looking back through
a period of more than threescore years, I can distinctly
recollect that sullen pride, that mortified but unsubdued
ambition which shut me out from the pleasures of social
intercourse, and "preyed like the canker worm, on the
vitals of my repose."
On perceiving the decline of my health and spirits,
my father, with little persuasion, prevailed on me to
take out license and commence the practise of my profession. By devotion to my studies, [ had acquired
such a knowledge of the elementary works, as enabled
me to pass a sustainable examination before the judges
of. In the twenty-first year of my age, on the
twenty-fifth day of October, with my license in my
pocket, I set out for a distant county court. It was
a fine morning; the air was bracing, but not cold.
When I had mounted my horse, and set off in a
brisk trot, on a level and beaten Virginia country road,
I felt an exhilaration that the novelty of my purpose
and the healthy nature of my exercise was well calculated to inspire. It is needless to inform the reader of
the multifarious and never realized visions of distinction
and applause, that my heated brain formed that day.
There is something rather enervating in the young
dreams of love; but the early visions of ambition instil
an ardor into the soul, which nerves the faculties to the
most daring enterprize, or the most laborious under.
taking. Both, however, heighten self-respect, and diffuse a pleasing tranquillity over even excited feeling.
The crowd had already gathered when I reached the
court house of. The political rivals had commenced haranguing the mob; the shrill cry of the
Yankee pedler vendueing his goods, the hoarse laugh
of the stout Virginia planter, the neighing of horses,
the loud voice of the stump orator, and the menaces of
county bullies, met for the purpose of testing their pugilistic talents, broke upon the tympanum in no agreeable confusion. Here was a group collected around a
decapitated cask of whiskey, emptying its contents to
the health of favorite candidates; there a collection
eyeing with eagerness two combatants encircled in a
ring, struggling for the acclamation of "the best man."
At a respectful distance stood the man of authority, the
Virginia justice, commanding the peace; but his vociferous interference only met with the response of
"Hands off: fair play!' In this promiscuous assemblage, every grade of society in the county was represented. Here was the rich, unpopular aristocrat, with
his lofty bearing. The representatives of old, and once
rich and aristocratical families, who had left nothing
but a name for their posterity, were here mingling familiarly with the plebeian herd, seeking popularity as
the only step-stone to political eminence. Here was
seen, also, the rich demagogue-the people's man-the
frequenter of militia musters, the giver of good dinners,
without distinction of guests. Here, also, was the subs
stantial two hundred acre freeholder. Of the most conspicuous "minora sidera," the Kentuckian horsedrover,
the horsejockey, the ganderpuller, might be mentioned.
I soon passed this congregated mass, and reached the
bar. One of the fraternity was kind enough to introduce me to the court and his professional brethren. It
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