The philosophy of eating. By Albert J. Bellows, M.D.

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PROFESSOR YEOMANS'S OPINION.

natural changes going on in the blood, and obstruct the
nutritive and reparative functions."
Carpenter's Physiology says, "Alcoholic drinks diminish the waste of the tissues." That is, alcohol suspends
the action of the whole system, brain and muscle, and
tends to bring us down to a state of torpidity, like
snakes and toads, who have wonderful powers of preserving their tissues by masterly inactivity. The professor did not prescribe the form in which alcohol
should be taken, nor the regime to accompany it in
order best to succeed in preserving the tissues; but,
" holding the mirror up to nature," I think I can see
and supply the deficiency.
In the first place, you should sit perfectly still, for
every motion tends against the preservation of the
tissues; then you should live in the most impure air
possible, for every breath of air containing oxygen
burns up the waste of the tissues, and counteracts the
desired influence; and then you should keep the tissues
well preserved in lager beer, this form of alcoholic
drink being best adapted to bring us into a state of
torpidity.
You have seen, perhaps, a toad, a motley-faced,
blubber-lipped toad, sitting in the corner of the garden,
in one spot, hour after hour, and day after day, with
just energy enough to wink, and to catch a fly if he
comes within an inch of his nose; - a perfect personification of a bloated, beer-drinking, Pennsylvania Dutchman, who will sit, it is said, in the chimney-corner
from morning till night, with just energy sufficient to