The works of Francis Bacon, lord chancellor of England.

126 APOPHTHEGMS.
9. Queen Elizabeth was importuned much by have put a trick upon the countryman, which was
my Lord of Essex to supply divers great offices thus: the scholars appointed for supper two
that had been long void; the queen answered pigeons and a fat capon, which being ready was
N!othing to the matter, but rose up on the sudden, brought up, and they having sat down, the one
and said, "I am sure my office will not be long scholar took up one pigeon, the other scholar took
void." And yet at that time there was much the other pigeon, thinking thereby that the counspeech of troubles and divisions about the crown tryman should have sat still until that they were
to be after her.decease: but they all vanished, and ready for the carving of the capon, which he perKing James came in in a profound peace. ceiving, took the capon and laid it on his trencher,
10. King Henry the Fourth of France was so and thus said, "6 Daintily contrived, every one a
punctual of his word after it was once passed, bird."
that they called him the King of the Faith. 17. A man and his wife in bed together, she
11. The said King Henry the Fourth was towards morning pretended herself to be ill at
moved by his Parliament to a war against the ease, desiring to lie on her husband's side; so the
Protestants: he answered, "Yes, I mean it; I good man to please her came over her, makin(r
will make every one of you captains; you shall some short stay in his passage over, where she
have companies assigned you." The Parliament had not long lain, but desired to lie in her old
observing whereunto his speech tended, gave place again. Quoth he, "1 How can it be effected I"
over, and deserted his motion. She answered, " Come over me again." "I had
12. A great officer at court, when my Lord of rather," said he, "go a mile and a half about."
Essex was first in trouble, and that he and those 18. A thief being arraigned at the bar for stealthat dealt for him would talk much of my lord's ing a mare, in his pleading urged many things in
friends and of his enemies, answered to one of his own behalf, and at last nothing availing, he
them, 1" I will tell you, I know but one friend and told the bench the mare rather stole him than he
one enemy my lord hath; and that one friend is the mare, which in brief he thus related: that
the queen, and that one enemy is himself." passing over several grounds about his lawful
13. The Lord Keeper, Sir Nicholas Bacon, occasions, he was pursued close by a fierce maswas asked his opinion by my Lord of Leicester, tiff dog, and so was forced to save himself by
concerning two persons whom the queen seemed leaping over a hedge, which being of an agile
to think well of: " By my troth, my lord," said body he effected, and in leaping, a mare standing
he, "1 the one is a grave counsellor, the other is a on the other side of the hedge, leaped upon her
proper young man; and so he will be as long as back, who running furiously away with him, he
he lives." could not by any means stop her until he came
14. My Lord of Liecester, favourite to Queen to the next town, in which town the owner of the
Elizabeth, was making a large chase about Corn- mare lived, and there was he taken and here arbury Park, meaning to enclose it with posts and raigned.
rails, and one day was casting up his charge what 19. A notorious rogue being brought to the bar,
it would come to; Mr. Goldingham, a free-spoken and knowing his case to be desperate, instead of
man, stood by, and said to my lord; "- Methinks pleading, he took to himself the liberty of jesting,
your lordship goeth not the cheapest way to work." and thus said, ", I charge you in the king's name
"c Why, Goldingham." said my lord. " Marry, to seize and take away that man (meaning the
my lord," said Goldingham, ", count you but upon judge) in the red gown, for I go in danger of my
the posts, for the country will find you railing." life because of him."
15. Sir Nicholas Bacon being appointed a judge 20. A rough-hewn seaman being brought before
for the northern circuit, and having brought his a wise just-ass for some misdemeanour, was by
trials that came before him to such a pass, as the him sent away to prison: and being somewhat
passing of sentence on malefactors, he was by refractory after he heard his doom, insomuch as
one of the malefactors mightily importuned for to he would not stir a foot from the place he stood,
save his life, which when nothing that he had saying, "It were better to stand where he was
said did avail, he at length desired his mercy on than go to a worse place." The justice thereupon,
the account of kindred. 66 Pr'ythee," said my to show the strength of his learning, took him by
lord judge, " how came that in?"',W hy, if it the shoulder, and said, " Thou shalt go' Nogus
please you, my lord, your name is Bacon and vogus,'" instead of ", Nolens volens."
mine is Hog, and in all ages hog and bacon have 21. A debauched seaman being brought before
been so near kindred that they are not to be sepa- a justice of the peace upon the account of swearrated.","Ay, but," replied Judge Bacon, 4"you ing, was by the justice commanded to deposit
and I cannot be kindred except you be hanged; his fine in that behalf provided, which was two
for hog is not bacon until it be well hanged." shillings, he thereupon, plucking out of his pocket
16. Two scholars and a countryman travelling a half-crown, asked the justice what was the rate
upon the road, one night lodged all in one inn and he was to pay for cursing; the justice told him
supped together, where the scholars thought to sixpence; quoth he, then, "' A pox take you all for