Salmagundi; or, The whim-whams and opinions of Launcelot Langstaff, esq. [pseud.] and others. By William Irving, James Kirke Paulding and Washington Irving. Printed from the original ed., with a preface and notes by Evert A. Duyckinck.

WORDY BATTLE. 137
everything viva voce, or by word of mouth; and in this manner
is one of the most military nations in existence. Every man who
has what is here called the gift of the gab, that is, a plentiful
stock of verbosity, becomes a soldier outright; and is forever
in a militant state. The country is entirely defended vi et ling'$a; that is to say, by force of tongues. The account which I
lately wrote to our friend, the snorer, respecting the immense
army of six hundred men, makes nothing against this observation; that formidable body being kept up, as I have already
observed, only to amuse their fair countrywomen by their splendid appearance and nodding plumes; and are, by way of distinction, denominated the " defenders of the fair."
In a logocracy thou well knowest there is little or no occasion
for fire-arms, or any such destructive weapons. Every offensive
or defensive measure is enforced by wordy battle, and paper
war; he who has the longest tongue, or readiest quill, is sure to
gain the victory —will carry horror, abuse, and ink-shed into the
very trenches of the enemy; and, without mercy or remorse, put
men, women and children, to the point of the-pen I
There is still preserved in this country some remains of that
gothic spirit of knight-errantry, which so much annoyed the
faithful in the middle ages of the hegira. As, notwithstanding
their martial disposition, they are a people much given to commerce and agriculture, and must, necessarily, at certain seasons
be engaged in these employments, they have accommodated
themselves by appointing knights, or constant warriors, incessant
brawlers, similar to those who, in former ages, swore eternal
enmity to the followers of our divine prophet. These knights,
denominated editors or SLANG-WHANGERS, are appointed in every
town, village, and district, to carry on both foreign and internal
warfare, and may be said to keep up a constant firing "in