Salmagundi; or, The whim-whams and opinions of Launcelot Langstaff, esq. [pseud.] and others. By William Irving, James Kirke Paulding and Washington Irving. Printed from the original ed., with a preface and notes by Evert A. Duyckinck.

122 SALMAGUNDI.
forgotten the first, and was obliged to begin again. He assured
me the other day, with a round college oath, that if the old house
stood out till he inherited it, he would have these tiles taken out,
and ground into powder, for the perfect hatred he bore them.
My cousin Christopher enjoys unlimited authority in the
mansion of his forefathers; he is truly what may be termed a
hearty old blade; has a florid, sunshine countenance; and if
you will only praise his wine and laugh at his long stories, himself and his house are heartily at your service. The first condition is indeed easily complied with; for, to tell the truth, his
wine is excellent; but his stories, being not of the best, and
often repeated, are apt to create a disposition to yawn-being,
in addition to their other qualities, most unreasonably long. His
prolixity is the more afflicting to me, since I have all his stories
by heart; and when he enters upon one, it reminds me of Newark causeway, where the traveller sees the end at the distance
of several miles. To the great misfortune of all his acquaintance, Cousin Cockloft is blest with a most provokingly retentive
memory; and can give day and date, and name, and age, and
circumstance, with the most unfeeling precision. These, however,
are but trivial foibles, forgotten, or remembered only with a kind
of tender, respectful pity, by those who know with what a rich
redundant harvest of kindness and generosity his heart is stored.
It would delight you to see with what social gladness he welcomes a visitor into his house; and the poorest man that enters
his door never leaves it without a cordial invitation to sit down,
and drink a glass of wine. By the honest farmers round his
country-seat he is looked up to with love and reverence; they
never pass him by without his inquiring after the welfare of
their families, and receiving a cordial shake of his liberal hand.
There are but two classes of people who are thrown out of the