Michiganensian. [1900]

An Advent.
D. C. O.
HE mother of John Henry said it would be the "recherche" stunt for him to hie himself to the Use of M.,.' and absorb some higher education in his acquisitive
sponge. John's father took her word for it and was
willing to play bank, so John got under way. He
". tLJX D was one of those specimens which mothers point out
as a IOLucI. Wayward sons, but the girls all thought him a tout. He
shunned the glamour of feminine association and put up his fins in holy
horror at the sight of a hammock by moonlight.
On the train coming down he debated about the "frat" he would
board at, and frappeed all the advances of the peanut clerk.
John was a bit jarred at the appearance of the human zoological
garden at the station. He knew he had them all kenoed with his yellow
shoes and black fedora. John was wrestling with his grip and telescoped
when a huge gazabo with a blue sweater flagged him and enquired the
direction of his course. John did not approve of such undue familiarity
and drew himself up like a waiter-lady resenting a request for a second
piece of pie, and loped to his cage in a good family residence.
John felt hurt when all did not shake hands with him and tell him
to make himself at home, and wondered why the laconic maiden behind
the bars did not call him "mister." John thought maybe they did not
know that his father kept the "General Emporium" at home, and did not
recognize his social position. Soon it bored into him that the earth did
not tip up when he walked, and people were always busiest when he had
most to say.
He was spotted for a "come-on" right at the start off, and bought
enough campus and general privilege tickets to paper his room with, at
from three to five cases per. When he put up his hand in class, some
one on the seat back would aid him to rise with a bunch of leather-bound
pedal extremity. In such a case he would reproachfully wrinkle up his