The Canterbury tales and Faerie queene &c., &c., &c., ed. for popular perusal with current illustrations and explanatory notes, by D. Laing Purves.

92 THE CANTERBURY TALES.
And it shall be amended, if I may." Lo, Sires," quoth the lord, " with harde grace,i4
"I have," quoth he, " had a despite to-day, Who ever heard of such a thing ere now?
God yielde you,1 adown in your village, To every man aliki? tell me how.
That in this world is none so poor a page, It is impossible, it may not be.
That would not have abominatiofin Hey, nic 12 churl, God let him never the.6
Of that I have received in your town: The rumbling of a fart, and every soun',
And yet ne grieveth me nothing so sore, Is but of air reverberatiouin,
As that the oldd churl, with lockis hoar, And ever wasteth lite and lite 15 away;
Blasphemed hath our holy convent eke." There is no man can deemen,l6 by my fay,
"Now, master," quoth this lord, "I you be- If that it were departedl7 equally.
seek " - What? lo, my churl, lo yet how shrewedly 1
" No master, Sir," quoth he, " but servitoir, Unto my confessofir to-day he spake;
Though I have had in schooli that honoir. I hold him certain a demoniac.
God liketh not, that men us Rabbi call, Now eat your meat, and let the churl go play,
Neither in market, nor in your large hall." Let him go hang himself a devil way! "
"No force," 2 quoth he; "but tell me all your Now stood the lordi's squier at the board,
grief." That carv'd his meat, and hearde word by word
"Sir," quoth this friar, "an odious mischief Of all this thing, which that I have you said.
This day betid 3 is to mine order and me, " My lord," quoth he, "be ye not evil paid,'9
And so pal consequence to each degree I coulde telle, for a gowne-cloth,0
Of holy churchi, God amend it soon." To you, Sir Friar, so that ye be not wroth,
"Sir," quoth the lord, "ye know what is to How that this fart should even 21 dealed be
doon: 4 Among your convent, if it liked thee."
Distemp'r you not,5 ye be my confessofr. "Tell," quoth the lord, " and thou shalt have
Ye be the salt of th' earth, and the savofir; anon
For Godde's love your patience now hold; A gowne-cloth, by God and by Saint John."
Tell me your grief." And he anon him told " My lord," quoth he, " when that the weather
As ye have heard before, ye know well what. is fair,
The lady of the house aye stille sat, Withoute wind, or perturbing of air,
Till she had hearde what the friar said. Let 22 bring a cart-wheel here into this hall,
"Hey, Godde's mother," quoth she, "blissful But looke that it have its spokes all;
maid, Twelve spokes hath a cart-wheel commonly;
Is there ought ellis? tell me faithfully." And bring me then twelve friars, know ye why?
"Madame," quoth he, "how thinketh you For thirteen is a convent as I guess; 3
thereby?" Your confessor here, for his worthiness,
"How thinketh me?" quoth she; " so God me Shall perform up 24 the number of his convent.,
speed, Then shall they kneel adown by one assent,
I say, a churl hath done a churlish deed. And to each spok'ed end, in this mannere,
What should I say? God let him never th; 6 Full sadly 25 lay his nosB shall a frere;
His sicke head is full of vanity; Your noble confess6r there, God him save,
I hold him in a manner phrenesy." 7 Shall hold his nose upright under the nave.
"Madame," quoth he, "by God, I shall not lie, Then shall this churl, with belly stiff and
But I in other wise may be awreke,8 tought 26
I shall diffame him ov'r all there 9 I speak; As any tabour,27 hither be y-brought;
This false blasphemofr, that charged me And set him on the wheel right of this cart
To parte that will not departed be, Upon the nave, and make him let a fart,
To every man alike, with mischance." And ye shall see, on peril of my life,
The lord sat still, as he were in a trance, By very proof that is demonstrative,
And in his heart he rolled up and down, That equally the sound of it will wend,28
"How had this churl imaginatioiun And eke the stink, unto the spokes' end,
To shewe such a problem to the frere. Save that this worthy man, your confessour
Never ere now heard I of such matt6re; (Because he is a man of great honofir),
I trow 10 the Devil put it in his mind. Shall have the firste fruit, as reason is;
In all arsmetrik l shall there no man find, The noble usage of friars yet it is,
Before this day, of such a questi6n. The worthy men of them shall first be served,
Who shoulde make a demonstrati6n, And certainly he hath it well deserved;
That every man should have alike his part He hath to-day taught us so muche good
As of the sound and savour of a fart? With preaching in the pulpit where he stood,
O nice 12 proude churl, I shrew 3 his face. That I may vouchesafe, I say for me,
1 Reward you. 2 No matter. 3 Befallen. 18 Impiously, wickedly. 19 Displeased.
4 Do. 5 Be not impatient, out of temper. 20 Cloth for a gown. 21 Equally. 22 Cause.
6 Thrive. 7 Sort of frenzy. 8 Revenged. 23 The regular number of monks or friars in a con9 Speak discreditably of him everywhere. vent was fixed at twelve, with a superior, in imitation
10 Believe. 11 Arithmetic. of the apostles and their Master; and large religious
12 Foolish; French " niais." 13 Curse. houses were held to consist of so many convents.
14 Ill-favour attend him (the churl). 24 Complete. 25 Carefully, steadily.
15 Little. 16 Judge, decide. 17 Divided. 26 Tight. 27 Drum. 28 Go,