Salmagundi; or, The whim-whams and opinions of Launcelot Langstaff, esq. [pseud.] and others. By William Irving, James Kirke Paulding and Washington Irving. Printed from the original ed., with a preface and notes by Evert A. Duyckinck.

34 SALMAGUNI)I.
Evergreen mentioned also that the young ladies were extremely anxious to learn the true mode of managing their beaux;
and Miss DIANA WEARWELL, who is as chaste as an icicle, has
seen a few superfluous winters pass over her head, and boasts of
having slain her thousands, wished to know how old maids were
to do without husbands; not that she was very curious about
the matter, she "only asked for information." Several ladies
expressed their earnest desire that we would not spare those
wooden gentlemen who perform the parts of mutes, or stalking
horses, in their drawing-rooms; and their mothers were equally
anxious that we would show no quarter to those lads of spirit,
who now and then cut their bottles to enliven a tea-party with
the humors of the dinner-table.
Will Wizard was not a little chagrined at having been mistaken for a gentleman, "who is no more like me," said Will,
" than I like Hercules." "I was well assured," continued Will,
"that as our characters were drawn from nature, the originals
would be found in every society. And so it has happened —
every little circle has its'Sbidlikens; and the cockney, intended
merely as the representative of his species, has dwindled into an
insignificant individual, who having recognized his own likeness,
has foolishly appropriated to himself a picture for which he never
sat. Such, too, has been the case with DING-DONNG. who has
kindly undertaken to be my representative; not that I care
much about the matter, for it must be acknowledged that the
animal is a good-natured animal enough-and what is more, a
fashionable animal-and this is saying more than to call him a
conjurer. But I am much mistaken if he can claim any affinity
to the Wizard family. Surely everybody knows Ding-dong, the
gentle Ding-donr, who pervades all space, who is here and there
and everywhere; no tea-party can be complete without Ding