Salmagundi; or, The whim-whams and opinions of Launcelot Langstaff, esq. [pseud.] and others. By William Irving, James Kirke Paulding and Washington Irving. Printed from the original ed., with a preface and notes by Evert A. Duyckinck.

COCKNEY CRITICISM. 129
his name was the most fruitful in puns; but then, on the other
side, it was contended that Fennel was the best Greek scholar.
Scarcely was the town of Strasburgh in a greater hubbub
about the courteous stranger's nose; and it was well that the
doctors of the University did not get into the dispute, else it
might have become a battle of folios. At length, after much
excellent argument had been expended on both sides, recourse
was had to Cocker's arithmetic and a carpenter's rule; the
rival candidates were both measured by one of their most
steady-handed critics, and by the most exact measurement it was
proved that Mr. Fennel was the greater actor by three inches
and a quarter. Since this demonstration of inferiority, Cooper
has never been able to hold up his head in Philadelphia.
In order to change a conversation in which my favorite suffered so much, I made some inquiries of the Philadelphian concerning the two heroes of his theatre, WooD and CAIN; but
I had scarcely mentioned their names, when, whack! he threw
a whole handful of puns in my face;'twas like a bowl of cold
water. I turned on my heel, had recourse to my tobacco-box,
and said no more about Wood and Cain; nor will I ever more,
if I can help it, mention their names in the presence of a Philadelphian. Would that they could leave off punning! for I
love every soul of them, with a cordial affection, warm as their
own generous hearts, and boundless as their hospitality.
During the performance, I kept an eye on the countenance of
my friend, the cockney; because, having come all the way from
England, and having seen Kemble once, on a visit which he
made from the button-manufactory to Luznnun, I thought his
phiz might serve as a kind of thermometer to direct my manifestations of applause or disapprobation. I might as well have
looked at the back side of his head; for I could not, with all
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