Europe and elsewhere, by Mark Twain [pseud.] [with an appreciation by Brander Matthews and an introduction by Albert Bigelow Paine]

EUROPE AND ELSEWHERE
on my hands? if he got drowned? It was depressing,
any way I looked at it. In the end I said to myself,
"If I get this Shah over here safe and sound I never
will take charge of another one." And yet, at the
same time I kept thinking: "This country has
treated me well, stranger as I am, and this toreigner
is the country's guest-that is enough, I will help
him out; I will fetch him over; I will land him in
London, and say to the British people, 'Here is your
Shah; give me a receipt."'
I felt easy in my mind now, and was about to go
to bed, but something occurred to me. I took a cab
and drove downtown and routed out that Herald
representative.
"Where is Belgium?" said I.
"Where is Belgium? I never heard such a
question!"
"That doesn't make any difference to me. If I
have got to fetch this Shah I don't wish to go to the
wrong place. Where is Belgium? Is it a shilling
fare in a cab?"
He explained that it was in foreign parts-the
first place I have heard of lately which a body could
not go to in a cab for a shilling.
I said I could not go alone, because I could not
speak foreign languages well, could not get up in
time for the early train without help, and could not
find my way. I said it was enough to have the Shah
on my hands; I did not wish to have everything piled
on me. Mr. Blank was then ordered to go with me.
I do like to have somebody along to talk to when I
go abroad.
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