Europe and elsewhere, by Mark Twain [pseud.] [with an appreciation by Brander Matthews and an introduction by Albert Bigelow Paine]

EUROPE AND ELSEWHERE

and uncomfortable, and in Italy they are phenomenally dirty. The European "system" was devised
either by a maniac or by a person whose idea was to
hamper, bother, and exasperate the traveler in all conceivable ways and sedulously and painstakingly discourage custom. In Italy, as far as my experience
goes, it is the custom to use the sleeping cars on the
day trains and take them off when the sun goes down.
One thing is sure, anyway: if that is not the case, it
will be, presently, when they think of it. They can
be depended upon to snap up as darling an idea as
that with joy.
No, we are bad enough about not importing valuable European ideas, but Europe is still slower about
introducing ours. Europe has always-from away
back-been neglectful in this regard. Take our
admirable postal and express system, for instance.
We had it perfectly developed and running smoothly
and beautifully more than three hundred years ago;
and Europe came over and admired it and eloquently
praised it-but didn't adopt it. We Americans...
But let Prescott tell about it. I quote from the
Conquest of Peru, chapter 2, vol. I:
As the distance each courier had to perform was small, they
ran over the ground with great swiftness, and messages were
carried through the whole extent of the long routes at the rate
of a hundred and fifty miles a day. Their office was not limited
to carrying dispatches. They brought various articles. Fish
from the distant ocean, fruits, game, and different commodities
from the hot regions of the coast were taken to the capital in
good condition. It is remarkable that this important institution should have been found among two barbarian nations of
the New World long before it was introduced among the civilized nations of Europe. By these wise contrivances of the Incas,
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