Europe and elsewhere, by Mark Twain [pseud.] [with an appreciation by Brander Matthews and an introduction by Albert Bigelow Paine]

EUROPE AND ELSEWHERE

of kin to the enchanted carpets that figure in
the romance and traditions of his own land, and
which carry the wanderer whither he will about
the earth, circumscribing the globe in the twinkling of an eye, propelled by only the force of an
unspoken wish.
GOSSIP ABOUT THE SHAH
This must be a dreary, unsatisfactory country to
him, where one's desires are thwarted at every turn.
Last week he woke up at three in the morning and
demanded of the Vizier on watch by his bedside
that the ballet dancers be summoned to dance
before him. The Vizier prostrated himself upon the
floor and said:
"O king of kings, light of the world, source of
human peace and contentment, the glory and admiration of the age, turn away thy sublime countenance,
let not thy fateful frown wither thy slave; for
behold the dancers dwell wide asunder in the desert
wastes of London, and not in many hours could they
be gathered together."
The Shah could not even speak, he was so astounded
with the novelty of giving a command that could
not be obeyed. He sat still a moment, suffering,
then wrote in his tablets these words:
"MEM.-Upon arrival in Teheran, let the Vizier
have the coffin which has just been finished for the
late general of the household troops-it will save
time. '
He then got up and set his boots outside the door
to be blacked and went back to bed, calm and corn80