Europe and elsewhere, by Mark Twain [pseud.] [with an appreciation by Brander Matthews and an introduction by Albert Bigelow Paine]

O'SHAH

One of the royal yachts came flying along presently
and put the Shah on board one of the ironclads, and
then the yards of the whole fleet were manned
simultaneously, and such another booming and bellowing of great guns ensued as I cannot possibly
describe. Within two minutes the huge fleet was
swallowed up in smoke, with angry red tongues of
fire darting through it here and there. It was wonderful to look upon. Every time the Devastation
let off one of her thirty-five-ton guns it seemed as
if an entire London fog issued from her side, and
the report was so long coming that if she were to
shoot a man he would be dead before he heard it,
and would probably go around wondering through
all eternity what it was that happened to him. I
returned to London in a great hurry by a train that
was in no way excited by it, but failed in the end
and' object I had in view after all, which was to
go to the grand concert at Albert Hall in 'honor
of the Shah. I had a strong desire to see that
building filled with people once. Albert Hall is one
of the many monuments erected to the memory
of the late Prince Albert. It is a huge and costly
edifice, but the architectural design is old, not to
say in some sense a plagiarism; for there is but little
originality in putting a dome on a gasometer. It
is said to seat I3,000 people, and surely that is a
thing worth seeing-at least to a man who was not
at the Boston Jubilee. But no tickets were to be
had-every seat was full, they said. It was no
particular matter, but what made me mad was to
come so extremely close and then miss. Indeed, I
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