Europe and elsewhere, by Mark Twain [pseud.] [with an appreciation by Brander Matthews and an introduction by Albert Bigelow Paine]

O'SHAI

"The Devastation is saluting!"
The correspondents tumbled over one another,
over chairs, over everything in their frenzy to get
on deck, and the last gun reverberated as the last
heel disappeared on the stairs. The Devastation, the
pride of England, the mightiest war vessel afloat,
carrying guns that outweigh any metal in any
service, it is said (thirty-five tons each), and these
boys had missed that spectacle-at least I knew
that some of them had. I did not go. Age has
taught me wisdom. If a spectacle is going to be
particularly imposing I prefer to see it through
somebody else's eyes, because that man will always
exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration,
and my account of the thing will be the most
impressive.
But I felt that I had missed my figure this time,
because I was not sure which of these gentlemen
reached the deck in time for a glimpse and which
didn't. And this morning I cannot tell by the
London papers. They all have imposing descriptions of that thing, and no one of them resembles
another. Mr. X's is perhaps the finest, but he was
singing a song about " Spring, Spring, Gentle Spring,"
all through the bombardment, and was overexcited,
I fear.
The next best was Mr. Y's; but he was telling
about how he took a Russian battery, along with
another man, during the Crimean War, and he was
not fairly through the story till the salute was over,
though I remember he went up and saw the smoke.
I will not frame a description of the Devastation's
53