JEP is taking the unusual step of publishing a press release to give publishers an idea of how to reassure their customers, trading partners, and suppliers about their Y2K compliance. The Editor encourages careful consideration of this approach.

THOMASVILLE, NC (INS) — Plan Nine Publishing announced today that all of its current titles, and all of its future titles are Y2K compliant, and will function flawlessly in the new millennium and beyond.

"Since I predicted the Millennium Bug in 1957," announced Criswell, chief spokesman for the plucky Internet-publishing startup, "I was able to give Plan Nine plenty of warning, thus allowing them to design books that are not only the latest in fiber-cellulose data storage devices, but also completely free of the software/hardware bugs currently plaguing our high-tech society."

"While every other publishing company on the planet is silent on this potentially devastating flaw, Plan Nine is the FIRST and ONLY publisher to announce that its products are Y2K compliant. We wish to reassure our customers that despite the fact that the air traffic control system will fail at exactly 12:01, January 1, 2000, causing squadrons of aircraft to plummet like the guest list of Linda Tripp's New Year's party — people on those planes reading 'Kevin & Kell: Quest for Content', 'Is It Not Nifty', or 'Toy Trunk Railroad' will be laughing their buns off for their last twenty seconds of life."

Industry sources, who wished to remain anonymous, question the accuracy of Criswell's predictions, noting that he had also predicted an outbreak of cannibalism in the 1980's, which never occurred.

"Okay, I got the cannibalism thing a little wrong," admitted Criswell. "I was psychically spammed by Jeffrey Dahmer."

"But, if you want to take the chance that your 'Mad Magazine' or 'Dilbert' will become unreadable in the next millennium, don't blame us. You were warned."

Republished with permission from Plan Nine Publishing, which may be found at http://www.plan9.org/.

KARL KOLCHAK

Pseudonym.