Martial, : the twelve books of Epigrams,.

MARTIAL'S EPIGRAMS

XCIV
TO A DOCTOR
To me 'tis filthy strychnine you dispense,
Then ask for wine! Why, damn your impudence!
In Homer, Glaucus for a crazy whim
Exchanges gold for bronze-am I like him?
Give a sweet draught to you and take instead
That bitter stuff? The fool is off his head.
Well take it then-but ere you drink it up
Pour a stiff dose of bromide in the cup!
* XCV (A)
ON A BACHELOR NEWLY WED
WHEN Algernon Brown was a bachelor gay
He was put by the girls at the top of class A;
But his value has sadly decreased since he wed,
And now he appears at the bottom of Z.
* XCV (B)
ON THE SAMIE
You ask-' Has he any real name of his own,
This person you call Mr Algernon Brown '?
I'm damned if I know: call him Brown, my dear fellows:
I can't bear the blame of your friend's peccadilloes.
* XCVI
ON A DOCTOR
DOCTOR HEROD when caught with a cup in his pocket
Said-' Wine does you harm; if you're wise, you will dock it.'
292