The true interest of families, or, Directions how parents may be happy in their children, and children in their parents to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by a divine of the Church of England ; with a preface by A. Horneck.

Advice to Parents.

PART II.

The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies.

HAving treated of the Duty of Parents towards their Children, as to their Souls, the better part; I shall next shew what their Duties are, as to the Bodies of their Children.

First, It belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children; unless some bo∣dily imperfection, great weakness, or sickness, or her circumstances in the World, make it impossible, or very dangerous and inconvenient both for her and the Children, or for either. For this end it is that God hath given Breasts unto Women, and caused the

Milk to flow into them, that there may be nourishment suitable to the ten∣der Infants in a readiness for them. Neither can we suppose any other bo∣dy capable of shewing equal Care and Love to the Children, with that which it is natural for the Mother to express to the Fruit of her own Womb. Be∣sides this, it cannot well be imagined, that the Milk of any other Body can be so fit for the Child as its own Mo∣thers, if she be but in tolerable Health. Even amongst the Heathens, they were accounted but half Mothers, who neg∣lected to give Suck to their Children. An ancient Author amongst the Hea∣thens, speaking on this Subject, saith, How unnatural a thing is this, how imperfect, and only to be a Mo∣ther by halves, having brought forth a Child, presently to throw it a∣way? having nourish∣ed in her Womb some∣what that she could not see, not now to nourish it with her Milk, when she sees it alive, and calling for her assistance?

We see likewise that Nature hath impressed on the most Savage and Wild Creatures a rea∣diness to draw out their Breasts to their young. Lam. 4.3. Even the Sea Monsters draw out the Breast, they give Suck to their young ones. And shall Women de∣generate into such un∣natural Barbarity towards their young, as is not to be met with amongst the most savage Creatures? Shall they, whose love and tenderness has been so noted and admired, prove unkind and cruel to the fruit of their own Womb?

2ly. When Children are fit for stronger Food, Parents are not to indulge them too much in gratifying the curiosity and daintiness of their Palate, which not only is apt to make them too soft and tender; but likewise disposeth them to gluttony and sensuality; to make their Belly their God. It is fit to accustom them to a plain and simple Diet; which is generally more wholsom than that

sort of Food which is very artifically prepared. The State of all Humane Things is very uncertain; they who have at present all manner of things in greatest plenty and variety, may meet with changes and vicissitudes: It's therefore a part of the Wisdom of Pa∣rents, to accustom their Children (so far as their Health and strength can bear it) to eat any sort of Food; that so, if God sees fit to change their out∣ward condition and circumstances, they may be the more fit and able to en∣dure such an alteration.

Thirdly, As to their Ha∣bit and Apparel: Parents ought to cloathe them de∣cently, but not gorgeously: Fineries and Gayeties in Apparel are apt to make people, especially younger persons, vain and conceited, to value themselves upon their gay Cloathing. It is fit often to suggest to them, that their Cloaths and Apparel are but borrowed Fea∣thers; and therefore that it is a great folly to be proud of that which is not their own, but which they owe to the Sheep or Goats, to the Worms or Bow∣els of the Earth.

It is not fit for Parents, to make too great distinction among their Children, as to their Apparel; because this is apt to cause discontents and jealousies, ha∣tred and envy, contentions and quar∣rellings amongst them. Joseph's Coat of many Colours, which his old Father Jacob gave him, caused his Brothers to hate and envy him, and at last to conspire most wickedly against him, Gen. 37.3, 4. &c. The same is to be said as to their Diet, and other things; wherein it is no small part of the Wis∣dom of Parents, not to shew too much fondness to one above all the rest. This does not hinder, but that Parents may, to very good purpose, give Rewards to their Children for their Acts of Vir∣tue, for their ready and chearful O∣bedience to their Commands; for their diligence and care in performing what was appointed them, &c. Whereby they who do such things are encoura∣ged, and they who do not, but are careless and negligent, are punished, and spurred up to amend their faults. But when such marks of favour are be∣stowed, 'tis fit to let the rest know, that if they do as well, they also shall have a Reward: By which means they

will see that Virtue and Goodness are the things which their Parents love and esteem most; and for which they are ready to bestow the marks of their affection.

The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children.

A third thing that belongs to the care of Parents, is the outward E∣state of their Children.

First, When they are fit for a Trade, they ought to chuse an honest Em∣ployment for them: To suffer them to live in Idleness, is to ruin them: If they have not some use∣ful thing or other to take up their thoughts, they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad, and hurtful both to themselves and others. The Devil is always at hand to furnish Occasions to idle people, for employing themselves to their own destruction.

As to the particular kind of Employ∣ment, wherein Children are to spend their days, it is to be left to the dis∣cretion and prudence of Parents: They

are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their Children, that they may be ready to be determined to any Trade or manner of Life that's honest, which their Parents think best and meetest for them to follow: But yet a great regard is to be had to the particular Genius and Inclination of Children, which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of Employment than ano∣ther: It will make them more diligent in learning their Trade, when they have a delight in it: Otherwise, if they are put forth to a Trade against their minds, they are more likely to neglect it, or to break off from it. Seldom do such persons attain unto great perfection in their Employment, who follow it against the grain.

Secondly, When they are fit for Marriage, Parents are so to dis∣pose of them, as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of Life: They are not to constrain them to marry against their will; for such marriages are seldom happy; they end too often in some∣what or other very Tragical and Ca∣lamitous, to one or t'other party, if not to both.

Great care is to be taken, that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition; for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the per∣son that is inferiour to the other in some external advantages: Nor yet too great inequality of years; for that doth likewise, sooner or later, cause an abatement and decay, and some∣times an utter extinction of that Re∣spect and Love which is necessary to make those who are married happy.

Parents are not, in disposing of their Children in Marriage, to govern them∣selves wholly by their respect to Riches and Honour; but are to have a regard to Virtue and Goodness, so far, as to prefer one who is discreet and wise, of a Virtuous and good disposition, to another that is foolish, or indiscreet, and prophane and Atheistical, tho' at∣tended with greater degrees of Wealth and Earthly Honour. What a great Reproach is it to our Religion, to think that so many Parents, in disposing of their Children, only consider how much Wealth they may have, and what Friends and Alliances they may make by marrying into such a Family? or what Profits and Preferments may

be expected thereby? As for any other thing, they do not much trouble their Heads about it: They know no other happiness but in the things of this life, and therefore they seek nothing else for their Children, but to make them great and wealthy; by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their Children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life, in which they must pine away their days in sor∣row and grief, in the Company of foo∣lish and wicked wretches, who are often in a fury and rage, who spend their time in gaming and drinking, in Cursing and Swearing, in quarrelling and fighting, in whoring and ranting, and such like woful doings; which can∣not but prove to those, who have any the least degree of real goodness, so very uneasie and afflictive, that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them. Such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition, but yet live in peace and quietness, in love and concord, and in the fear of God; and so enjoy-real satisfaction and contentment, and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten

their outward Wants and Necessities. Prov. 15.16, 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord; than great Trea∣sure, and trouble therewith. Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is, than a stalled Ox, and hatred therewith.

Thirdly, Parents are to provide for them, if they can, somewhat that may be a foundation for their Comfortable subsistance in the World; which by the Blessing of God on their Callings, may be improved towards their living decent∣ly and honestly. Parents are not to propose to themselves, the rendring their Children very Great and Rich: But as they themselves having Food and Rayment, are to be therewith content; so, if they can get Necessaries for their Children, they ought to rest satisfied, and be thankful. Our life (that is the happiness of our life) doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess, Luke 12.15. Tho' you are thus to provide for your Children; yet you are not, out of too great thought∣fulness about the time to come, to re∣strain your selves from doing all ne∣cessary

Offices of Charity to the poor, who do now stand in need of your help: Never neglect a present Duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience: You are forbid to take thought for the Morrow, Matth. 6.34. But you are re∣quired to do good to all Men, while you have opportunity, Gal. 6.10. To cast your Bread upon the Waters; to give a Portion to seven, as also unto eight, be∣cause you know not what evil there may be in the Earth, Eccles. 11.1, 2. This is the way to lay up Treasures for your Children; to entail upon them great Blessings; to make God their Guardian; to leave them to his merciful and kind Providence, and to his Almighty pro∣tection. Ps 37.25, 26. I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the Righteous forsaken, nor his Seed begging Bread. He is ever merciful and lendeth, and his Seed is Blessed. So that by your Bounty and Charity, you put forth your Money into God's hands, who will not fail to repay it with Usury. He that gives to the poor, lendeth to the Lord. You thereby bring your Wares to a good Market. The liberal Soul shall be made fat, Prov. 11.25. He that gives to the poor shall not lack, Prov. 28.27.

and Deut. 15.10. it is written, Thou shalt surely give him, (to wit thy poor Bro∣ther) and thy heart shall not be grieved, when thou givest unto him; because that for this thing, the Lord thy God shall bless thee, in all thy Works, and in all that thou puttest thine hands unto. And in the Epistle to the Hebrews, ch. 6. v. 10. it is said, God is not unrighteous to forget your work, and labour of love, which you have shewed towards his Name, in that you have ministred to the Saints, and do minister. From all which it appears, that Cha∣rity and Liberality are the best Hus∣bandry.

As you are to beware, lest your care for your Children, make you neglect ne∣cessary Duties of Charity; so you are to take heed, lest you use any unlawful method to get Wealth to bestow up∣on them: This is not a way to make them rich; for such Riches seldom pro∣sper: There is a Curse which attends all unlawful Gain, and like a Canker eats it out, and consumes it. All Ages and Places afford Examples, which con∣firm this Observation. Better, saith So∣lomon, Prov. 16.8. is a little with Righte∣ousness, than great Revenues without Right.

Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children, and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate.

The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents.

From what hath been said you may see, what a weighty and difficult charge you have; the sense whereof should ex∣cite you to beg of God earnestly every day, that he would direct and assist you, to perform the Duties that belong to Chri∣stian Parents. That you may the better act your part; 'tis fit for you, when you call your selves to an account a∣bout your Lives and Conversations, to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children, as to their Souls, their Bodies, and Outward Concerns: And if upon serious enquiry, you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them; then bless and praise God, who gives you both to will and to do according to his good pleasure: Beg his pardon for those imperfections

and defects that attend all Humane Actions: Resolve to go on, and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them; that so they may be as happy in all respects, as is possible for you, by the help of God, to make them.

But if upon enquiry, you find that you have been very defective in your duty towards your Children; that you have done very little good for their Souls, and not what you should, and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate; and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel, and Prophane and Wretched Example; that you have led them on in the Broad Way, which leads to the Chambers of Death; that you have robbed God, who bestowed them on you, of their Service and O∣bedience; and have made them the Ser∣vants of Sin; that you have contribu∣ted to the making them Heirs of Wrath, Children of Disobedience, who were made by their Baptism, Children of God, and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven; that you have done what tended to de∣stroy eternally those Souls and Bodies, which God intrusted with you, that you might take care of them, and do

what you could to make them happy. If, I say, upon enquiry into your hearts and lives, you find your selves guilty of those things, how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart, to weep and lament, to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes, to con∣fess and acknowledge your sins with great humility and contrition, to im∣plore the divine mercy and forgive∣ness with all earnestness, for the sake of his dear Son; to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and do∣ings; to beg grace from God, that he would assist you, that he would com∣pass you about with his Salvation; and never leave you nor forsake you. Con∣sider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children, and failed in your Duty to them, as to their Bodies and Outward Concerns: And the more you find you have done amiss, resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good; to double your diligence in promoting the well∣fare and happiness both of their Souls and Bodies. Tell them so far as is meet, what you now see and feel; let them know that you have been out of the way, that you have milled them,

and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone, and ruined eternally: Tell them what you resolve to do, and what you and they ought to do, and must do, or else that you will certainly perish. Delay not to do this one moment: fly like a Bird out of the Snare of the Fowler. Your Souls lye at the stake, and therefore do what Men use to do to save their Lives; Skin for Skin, and all that a Man hath, will he give for his Life. Men are ready to part with any thing to save their lives; They'l part with House and Lands, with Silver and Gold, with their whole Estate and Substance, to save their Bodies alive, which must dye at last, and, for ought they know, may dye within a very few days or hours. How much more ought you, that you may save your own Souls, and the Souls of your Children, to part with your vile and unruly Lusts and Passions, your vain foolish Habits and Customs, which are your reproach and dishonour, which are the worst things in the World; which can do you no good, if you hold them still, but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief? They will prove the cause of your destruction;

they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent; they will cut you off from the favour of God, the Love of Christ, and the fellowship of the Blessed Spirit; they will likewise de∣prive you of the assistance and Ministry of the Holy Angels, and the Comfor∣table Society of the Saints departed; they will exclude you for ever from the Kingdom of Heaven, the Crown of righteousness, the peace and joy, the love and glory of the future State: All this your sins will deprive you of; and instead thereof, they will expose you to the Wrath of God, to the devou∣ring fire, to everlasting Burnings, to blackness of darkness, to weeping and gnashing of Teeth, to the wretched and cursed company of Devils and damned Souls, to the Worm which ne∣ver dieth, which will gnaw you, and torment you for ever: And will you chuse all this rather than part with your Lusts, that you may be for ever happy, and have fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore? Will you be so mad, as to prefer Hell and Death, everlasting Misery and Woe, to Hea∣ven and everlasting life, to Blessedness and Glory? Now is the time for you

to become either happy or miserable; if you repent and amend, and act the part of Wise and Religious Parents, you may be happy; for God will have mercy upon you. Isa. 55.7. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighte∣ous Man his Thoughts: And let him re∣turn unto the Lord, and he will have mer∣cy upon him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Follow therefore the Example of the Psalmist, Psal. 119.59, 60. I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies. I made haste and delayed not to keep thy Commandments. But if, instead of this, you continue in your sin and folly, setting at naught Gods Counsels, and despising his Reproofs, putting the Evil Day far from you, promising your selves peace and safety, tho' you walk after your own Hearts Lusts; making a mock at sin, and laugh∣ing at all that is sacred and serious; and by your wicked Example destroying the Souls and Bodies of your poor Chil∣dren; then assure your selves God will not be mocked; he will at last whet his Sword and bend his Bow, and make ready his Arrows against his Adversa∣ries; he will render to you according to your Works; he will in no wise

clear the Guilty. Consider the terrible threatning which is mentioned, Deut. 29.19, 20. against the man, who, when he heareth the words of the Curse, does bless himself in his Heart, saying, I shall have peace, tho' I walk in the imagination of my heart, to add drunkenness to thirst: [The Lord will not spare him, but the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoke against that man; and all the Cur∣ses that are written in this Book shall lye upon him, and the Lord shall blot out his Name from under Heaven.]

Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by death.

After all that hath been said, it will not be unfit to add somewhat concern∣ning the Duty of Parents, when God sees fit to remove their Children from them by Death. This falls out so ve∣ry often to Parents, that it cannot but be seasonable to a great many to suggest to them some plain and easie conside∣rations, which they may sometimes re∣flect upon, and imprint on their minds; that so they may not be surprised with the death of their Children, nor swal∣lowed up of excessive and immoderate grief.

Parents ought to consi∣der, when their Children dye, first, that is the Lord who does it: He who is Lord of Life, who gave Life to themselves and to their Children, is also Lord of death, and removes out of the World whom, and when, he sees sit. He is the great Potter; and Man is the Clay, which he hath formed and fashioned into a curious and beautiful shape; and ani∣mated with an immortal Soul: When he sees fit to break this brittle Vessel in pieces, and to separate the Soul from it, who dare say unto him, What doest thou? May not he do with his own, what he thinks good? Or must he give an account of his Actions, unto the work of his own hands? He is infinitely great and powerful; and therefore will do according to his own good pleasure: He is infinitely wise, and knows what's best and fittest to be done. He is in∣finitely good and kind, and therefore will order all things for good: And he is infinitely just and righteous, and therefore can do no wrong. It's fit therefore that Parents, when God re∣moves their Children from them by

Death, submit chearfully to the will of him, who is infinitely powerful, wise, good, and just; and that they adore him, and say with Ely, 1 Sam. 3.18. It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good.

Secondly, They should consider that their Child∣ren were born Mortal, frail by Nature, subject to a necessity of dying, by their very compositi∣on and frame; and also by the Decree of Heaven, Heb. 9.27. It is appointed for all Men once to dye. And therefore when God sees fit to remove them by Death, to make the House of Clay fall down about their Ears, Parents ought not to be surprised: This is nothing but what falls out daily: Some are going out of the World, and some are coming into it: Some are a great while upon the Stage, and some but a very short while; some no sooner enter upon it, but presently they are gone, and are seen no more; some take a few turns, and then they are withdrawn; some tarry longer, and act a great part on the Stage, for a considerable time, and

give hopes of yet greater Actions and Performances; but on a sudden they are gone likewise, as a shadow; and all their own designs and projects, and the hopes and expectations of others fall to the ground. All this happens every day in the Course of things here in the World; and therefore Parents have no reason to think it strange when they see their Children dye. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done, is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing under the Sun, Eccles. 1.9.

And as it is with men, so it is with all things else, which live upon the Earth, or grow out of it: Some live longer and some a shorter while than others of the same kind: Some pro∣sper and thrive, and others decay and perish. Some things grow up in the Morning, and are withered e're Night: Some things grow apace till they are very near the time of ripeness and perfection; and then somewhat hap∣peneth, which prevents the perfect growth, and makes the goodly appea∣rance come to nothing: Now, what are Men? Moses in his Prayer (Ps. 90.5, 6.) tells us, In the Morning they are like

grass, which groweth up; In the Morn∣ing it flourisheth and groweth up: In the Evening it is cut down and wither∣eth. And to the same purpose the Psalmist David speaketh, Psal. 103.15, 16, As for Man his days are as grass, as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth, for the Wind passeth over it, and it is gone, and the place thereof shall know it no more. Likewise Esa. 40.6, 7. it is thus written, The Voice said Cry. And he said What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodli∣ness thereof is as the flower of the field. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth, because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it: Surely the people is grass. By all which it appears what Man is by Nature, to wit, a very weak and vanishing thing, soon nipt and brought to nothing; like the tender Grass and the Flower of the Field, which is more exposed to the Winds and other inconveniencies, than the Flowers of the Garden, which the Gardiner preserves and secures.

The Consideration of these things will tend mightily to quiet the minds of those who calmly and wisely reflect upon them, when God removes their

Children, or other Relations from them by Death. Their case is not singular, it is that which is common and usual amongst men; it is accord∣ing to the course of Nature for a mor∣tal thing to die.

But what if the manner of the death of your Children be somewhat extra∣ordinary, by some sudden and unusual Accident, or by some strange and odd Distemper; are you on this account to allow your selves in the excesses of Sorrow and Mourning? No, in no ways: You are not therefore to be transported into immoderate grief and mourning. Shall you be vexed and disquieted, because a Worm did eat up your pleasant Fruit, or because the stormy Wind did blow away your love∣ly Flowers? Are you therefore to be enraged and mad with anger against the Worms, or against the Winds? What would it mend the matter, if you should give way to your passion and anger never so much in such a case? This would only multiply your losses, by making you lose not only your Fruit and your Flowers, but your selves too: Which they all do, who lose their pa∣tience, in which it is that we possess our Souls.

When therefore your Children are removed from you by Death, in some unusual and extraordinary manner, you ought to look beyond Diseases or Ac∣cidents unto the Lord of Life and Death; who by his Providence order∣eth not only their death, but the man∣ner of it. If the Sparrows fall not to the ground, that is, die not, with∣out your Father: You may be sure your Children do not die by chance, or without the particular disposal of their heavenly Father. As to the par∣ticular grounds and reasons for which God does after such a manner see fit to put an end to your Childrens days, you are not to be too curious and in∣quisitive. The Counsels of God are a great deep: His ways are in the deep waters; and none by searching can find him out unto perfection, Job 11.7. Up∣on such occasions all ought to remem∣ber the words of our Lord, when they told him of the Galileans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their Sacrifices, Luk. 13.2, 3, 4, 5. Suppose ye that these Galileans were sinners above all the Gali∣leans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, Nay: But except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Or those eighteen upon

whom the Tower of Siloe fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners a∣bove all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, Nay: But except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Thirdly, Consider from whence, and whither they are gone. They were here in a life of Vexation and Trouble; subject to innu∣merable vanities, tempta∣tions, snares and dangers: They were compassed about with great and terri∣ble Enemies, the Devil, the World, and the Flesh: They were subject to daily necessities and wants. If they had lived never so long, they would only have seen the same things in a con∣tinual succession and revolution: As for Example, heat and cold, fair wea∣ther and foul, night and day, Sum∣mer and Winter, health and sickness, plenty and poverty, peace and war, prosperity and adversity, succeeding one to another: All things going round. But now they are delivered from all these; they are at rest, they are sub∣ject to no more necessities and wants; oppressed with no more troubles and vexations; exposed to no more ene∣mies,

temptations or dangers; but exalted to a state of perfect peace, joy, love, and glory. They are as well and better than you can desire: You are not able to comprehend the Happiness that they are admitted to. Will you then be in continual sorrow and grief for your Children, when they are ex∣alted to a state of Rest and Glory; when they are where you would re∣joyce to be; when their gracious Fa∣ther hath freed them from the vain company of the World, and translated them into the blessed Society of An∣gels, and of the Spirits of just men made perfect; when he hath put an end to their toil and labour, to their fighting and wrestling against their Enemies, and bestowed on them a Crown of Glory, and an everlasting Inheritance; when he hath broken their bonds asunder, wherein they were held and kept in captivity and slavery, and hath put them into a state of per∣fect and glorious freedom? The con∣sideration of these things should miti∣gate and asswage your sorrow and grief, and fill you with unspeakable comfort and gladness.

But some are apt to say, I should re∣joyce, if I thought that my Children, who are dead, were in Heaven: But this I do not know. As to this, you are not to trouble your thoughts about it: for God does not see fit to ac∣quaint you with such things. Secret things belong to God; and things revealed to us and to our Children, Deut. 29.29. If your Children, while they were a∣live, minded good things; and if you did your part to instruct them, and to make them what God requires them to be, you are not to be any further solicitous about their everlasting state: You are to hope that they are very happy, and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts.

But some are apt to say, I am afraid that my Children are not in a happy state; they did very bad things, and used bad Company; and therefore I have cause to fear, and to be troubled about them, now that they are dead. As to such Parents, who have had wretched Children, they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered, and oppressed with grief and sorrow, because their Children, who died, were wicked. If they did their Duty to make

them better; if they advised and ad∣monished them; if they reproved them, and, as was fitting, chastened them; if they desired others to deal with them, to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them; if they prayed to God for them, and gave them a good Example: they are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them, when God takes them into his own hand; He is wise and good, holy and just, he does all things well, for excellent and glorious ends; and there∣fore Parents ought to leave them to his Disposal, who is the Supreme Go∣vernour of the World, and Judge of the whole Earth. Whatever he does, whether in Mercy or Justice, is always best. The Inhabitants of the other World, who are translated into a state of heavenly Glory, are not under the power of such passions and partialities, as govern us here below. The glori∣fied Parents of damned Children, are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account: The Will of God and his Glory is their all; they know that whatever he does is most perfect∣ly just and good, and for his honour; and therefore all things afford them

great pleasure and delight, true and lasting joy and satisfaction of mind. There's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in Glory: They are perfectly and eternally deli∣vered from all sort of evils, both of sin and punishment: They are placed above the reach of whatever may ren∣der them in the least uneasie.

But there is a third sort; of those who are troubled, not only because their Children were bad and prophane, but because they were so through their example or neglect. As for such, I have already in general shewed them what they ought to do. I shall only add; That since they have been so faulty and defective in their Duty to∣wards their deceased Children, they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive, and to do all that is possible to make them what God re∣quires them to be. As to those who have no more Children left them, it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more Children, upon whom they may bestow all that pains & care which they should have bestowed in the right Education of their own; and endeavour, by God's help, to make

them truly pious and religious, and Patterns of all sorts of Virtue to o∣thers. This is an office which will be very acceptable to God, and one of the best demonstrations which Parents can make of the sincerity of their Re∣pentance, for their not having done their Duty to their own Children.

Fourthly, Consider, That there will be a Resurrecti∣on of all those that are dead. The mighty Power of God, which made all things cut of nothing, will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased, and will reform and rebuild, as it were, their bodies which are fallen down, and consumed. He will raise them up again in a more ex∣cellent, perfect, and glorious manner. Then shall you meet with your Chil∣dren and Friends who died in the Lord, and behold them after another manner, than you saw them here in this World. Instead of weak and dis∣eased bodies, you shall see them strong, vigorous, and lively bodies: Instead of frail and dying bodies, you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies: Instead of filthy and vile bodies, you

shall see pure and glorious bodies: And you shall see them so as to be with them for ever, so as never any more to be separated from them by death, or any other thing; for you and they shall die no more: 1 Cor. 15.42, 43, 44. So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption; it is sown in dishonour, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weak∣ness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body: And vers. 15, 53. This corrupti∣ble must put on incorruption, and this mor∣tal must put on immortality.

How gladly would poor people part with their dearest Children, if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition, exalted to great Dignity and Honour? And will not you, who have the hopes of a glorious Resurrection, be com∣forted in the absence of your Chil∣dren? when their merciful God and Father takes them away from you unto himself; not to do them hurt, but good; to make them happy and bles∣sed with himself for ever; to bestow upon them what eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor which hath entred into

the heart of man to conceive? Consi∣der the words of the Apostle to the Thessalonians, 1 Epist. 4.13, 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant, Bre∣thren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope: For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again, even so them, which sleep in Jesus, will God bring with him.

Fifthly, Your gi∣ving way to exces∣sive Grief and Mour∣ning, can do you no good, but will cer∣tainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many re∣spects. It cannot bring back your Chil∣dren that are dead. Though you should break your Hearts into a thousand pieces, by your weeping and mourn∣ing, and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow; tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind; after all you must go to them, they shall not return to you. Now what a folly is it for Men to consume, to dis∣quiet, and to torment themselves, where it is to no purpose at all to do so?

And not only do you thereby no good at all to your selves, but you do your selves a great deal of mischief and prejudice. You provoke God to anger against you, to bring upon you yet heavier and more grievous punish∣ments, and to deprive you of other Mer∣cies and Comforts, which you still en∣joy.

You do thereby no small hurt to your Bodies; you bring upon your selves very dangerous Distempers, which will make you unfit for the actions of Life, and the Duties of your Calling. You likewise do unspeakable mischief to your Souls; you deprive your selves of that vigour and chearfulness of Spi∣rit, that is needful to make you fit to serve God acceptably. You thereby weaken your Memory, and darken and disorder your Reason and Understand∣ing, and so expose your selves to all the sad consequences of a disordered and distracted Mind.

Your Example does also a great deal of hurt to others: Your impati∣ence and immoderate sorrow and mour∣ning teacheth others to do so upon the like occasion. Hereby you bring no small reproach upon our holy Religi∣on,

as if it were not sufficient to sup∣port and fortifie us against our crosses and afflictions, and to comfort us a∣midst the uneasie things which God sees sit to exercise us with in this World.

What an excellent Example is Da∣vid unto you in this matter? When God struck his Child, so that it was very sick, he fasted and prayed; but when the Child died, he arose from the earth, and washed and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came unto the House of the Lord, and worshipped: Then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? Thou didst fast and weep for the Child, while it was alive; but when the Child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the Child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell, whether God will be gracious unto me, that the Child may live? But now he is dead, Wherefore should I fast? Can I bring him again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me, 2 Sam. 12.15, 16, &c. Thus ought all Parents to do, who

fear God. When the Lord layeth his hand upon your Children, you ought to pray to God for them, and to use all lawful means for their recovery: But when he sees fit to take them a∣way by death, you ought patiently to submit to his Will, and to say with Job: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord, Job 1.21. This is your wisest course: It is the way to make your selves happy, and to enjoy comfort and satisfaction of mind under your crosses. This is the likeliest and rea∣diest way to obtain new Mercies and Favours from the Lord, instead of those you are deprived of: Thus you see the Lord dealt with Job: Jam. 5. 11. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord: That the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mer∣cy. And Job 42.12, 13. The Lord blessed the latter end of Job, more than his begin∣ning. And vers. 16, 17. After this li∣ved Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons sons, even four generations. So Job dyed, being old and full of days.

But if God see it more fit to with∣hold from you the blessings of the

Womb, and to bestow no more Chil∣dren upon you; he can and will make up this want, with much grea∣ter and better Blessings. What you want in Temporals, you shall have in Spirituals. As Elkanah said to Hannah, 1 Sam. 1.8. He will be better to you than ten Sons. He will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daugh∣ters, even an everlasting Name, that shall not be cut off. Isa. 56.5.

Notes

• 1. Duty, it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children.
• Aulus Gellius, lib. 12. cap. 1. Quod est enim hoc contra natu∣ram, imperfe∣ctam atque di∣midiatum ma∣tris genus?
• Peperisse, ac sta∣tim ab sese abje∣cisse? aluisse in utero, sanguine suo, nescio quid, quod non videret? non alere nunc suo lacte quod videat, jam viventem? jam hominem? jam matris officia implorantem?
• 2. Duty, about Childrens Diet.
• 3. Duty, a∣bout Childrens Apparel.
• 1. Duty, to chuse a fit Tr•…•… them.
• 2. Duty, about disposing of them in Marriage.
• 3. Duty, about providing some∣what that may be the foundation of their comfor∣table subsistance in the World.
• 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it.
• 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mor∣tal.
• 3. They should consider from whence, and whither they are gone.
• 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection.
• 5. They should con∣sider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning, can do no good, but will cer∣tainly do a great deal of hurt.