The first Pointe.

1. THE first pointe is, to call to minde the multi∣tude of Sinnes that in all my former Life I haue committed: to which ende I am to runne tho∣rough all the Ages thereof, and thorough all the places where I haue liued, and thorough the Offi∣ces, Occupations, and Imployments that I haue had, regarding how, and wherein I haue faulted in euery one of the seuen Sinnes, wee commonly call Mortall: and in euery one of the Commaun∣dements of the Lawe of God, and of his Churche: and in euery one of the Lawes, and Rules of my Estate, and Office. To which ende it will helpe mee to knowe the sortes of Sinnes that may bee committed in these matters; as they shalbee put in the first pointes of the eighteenth meditation, and of the nine following.

And this Remembrance of Sinnes, must not bee drye, but moistened with teares, full of Confusion, and Shame, as was that of the holy king who saide: I will consider before thee all the dayes of my Life with bitternesse of Soule. *

In hauing called these Sinnes to Remembrance, I will make of them in my Praier, an humble Con∣fession before God, * like Daniel accusing myselfe of them all, yea of the most principall of them, stri∣king my brest as the Publican, and saying: I accuse myselfe o Lord, that I haue sinned before thee in pride, presuming vainely of myselfe, speaking boa∣sting wordes, despising my neighbours, and rebel∣ling against thee. And in this sorte will I prosecute the Accusation in all the seuen deadely Sinnes, and Page  101thoroughout all the ten Commaundements.

2. After I haue confessed those Sinnes which I knowe, * I am to beleeue that there are very many other that I knowe not, which Dauid calleth Hid∣den Sinnes, but they are not hidden from God who is to iudge mee, and chastize mee for them. And this must holde mee carefull, and afflicted. These Sinnes are hidden to mee, for one of three causes: either for that I haue alreadye forgotten them: or for that they were very subtile, as Interiour Prides, rashe Iudgements, sinister Intentions, Negligences, and Omissions: or for that I committed them with some Ignorance, and errour; or by the illusion of the Deuill, thinking that I did God seruice. And thus joyning the Sinnes that I knowe, with the Sinnes that I knowe not, I may beleeue that they amount to an innumerable multitude, and that they are (as Dauid saide) more then the Haires of my Heade, * and (as king Manasses saide) more then the Sandes of the Sea. From whence I shall drawe out greate Admiration at Gods patience in suffering mee. For one Injurye, or two, any one may suffer: but so many, so reiterated, so diuerse, and with so greate peruersenesse, who can suffer them but God? Truely, o my God, there was neede of such an in∣finite Patience as thine, to suffer such an Infinitie of Injuries as mine: but seeing thou hast not beene wearied to suffer mee, bee good to mee, and par∣don mee.

The second Pointe.

1. FRom hence I will mount vp to consider the greuousnesse of these Sinnes, by their mul∣titude, * making my proffit of some Similitudes vsed in the diuine Scripture. For if Sinne bee like a Mil∣stone hanged about the necke, wherewith man is throwne into the depth of Hell, my Sinnes beeing Page  102as many as the Sandes of the Sea, or the Haires of the Heade, what an Immense burthen will theirs bee? with what a furious Violence shall I fall with them into the Profunditye of Hell? If God holde mee not, [ 2] who shalbee able to hold mee? And what are so many Sinnes, * but an Iron Chaine of innumerable Linkes wherewith I am bounde, and chained, which is so large that it reacheth to Hell, and Sathan standes drawing at it to hale mee vnto him. And if the Sinnes of the Angells (as saieth S. * Peter) were Ropes that pulled them from Hea∣uen, and drewe them downe into the bottomlesse pit of Hell; how much more strong Ropes shall my Sinnes bee, beeing twisted with so innumera∣ble Cordes? [ 3] My Soule is also incompassed with this multitude of Sinnes as with an Armye of Dogges, * Lyons, Bulles, Serpents, and other Sauage Beastes, that terrifye it with their roarings, teare it in pee∣ces with their mouthes, and rent it with their cla∣wes: like Bees they sting, and like VVormes they bite it, [ 4] * and gnawe the Conscience. Finally I am that euill Seruante, that oweth his Lorde ten thou∣sand Talents, & the debt is so greate that although they should sell all that hee hath, both his VVife, his Children, and himselfe, yet all would not suf∣fice to pay the leaste parte thereof. * Then vvhat doest thou, o my Soule vvith so greate a burthen of Sinnes• If this Armye of sauage beastes made Christ svveate bloud vvith anguish; hovv comes it, that thou doest not vveepe teares of Bloud, of Dolour, and Paine? O most mercifull Sauiour, by that Dolour, and Sense that thou hadst of my Sinnes in the Garden of Geth∣semani, I beseeche thee, ayde mee to haue such a feeling of them, that I may bee quitte, and deli∣uered of them.

To this I am to adde another Circumstance, [ 5] that may much aggrauate my Sinnes, which is, Page  103my recidiuation into the same Sinnes, after God hath pardoned mee once, and many times, striuing as it were with God, I to sinne, and hee to pardon mee, and I to retourne againe to Sinne, * as if I had neuer beene pardoned; imitating (as saieth the Apostle S. Peter) the Dogge that retourneth to his vomite, and the Swine that beeing washed walloweth againe in the same mire. For the which I deserued that God should vomite mee for euer from himselfe, and ouerwhelme me in the filthy Dunghill of Hell, leauing mee bound hand, and foote in the power of those Infernall Executio∣ners, as hee did with the vnthankefull Seruaunt that ought him ten thousand Tasents, and after hee was pardoned, retourned againe to offend him.

But yet for all this, trusting vpon the Infinite Pa∣tience, and mercie of God, I am againe to retourne vnto him vnfainedly, and prostrated at his feete to say vnto him: Haue patience with mee, o Lord, and I with thy ayde will paye thee the whole debt of my Sinnes; and if thou pardonest mee this once, I will neuer more retourne vnto them.

The third Pointe.

THirdly, I am to consider the deformitie, and vilenesse of these Sinnes, in as much as, though there were no Hell for them, yet they are contrary to naturall Reason: for man beeing created to the likenesse of God, by Sinne hee is transformed into a Beaste, and with the multitude thereof engen∣dreth within himselfe Bestiall manners, and Vi∣cious Habits. His Appetites preuaile against Rea∣son, the Fleshe against the Spirit, and the Slaue commaundeth him that by right is the Lorde; for the wretched Spirit is made a Slaue to the Fleshe; and to her Appetites, & is basely inthralled to many other Creatures. For (as Christe our Sauiour saide) Page  104vvhosoeuer committeth Sinne is the Seruant of Sinne, * and hee that is vanquished (saithe S. Peter) is the Ser∣uaunt of him that vanquisheth, and as a Slaue, is subject to the Conquerour. If I bee ambitious, I am the Slaue of Honour, and of all them that can giue it mee, or take it away. If I bee Couetous, I am the Slaue of VVealthe: If a Glouton, I am the Slaue of Nicenesse: If Luxurious, I am the Slaue of Sensuallitie, and of those that haue robbed mee of my Hearte, and of my Libertye. And what greater basenesse can bee then this? VVhat more heauy Slauery, then that of Sinne frequented by vicious Custome? This should moue mee to greate Dete∣station of my Sinnes, to caste of from mee this Ser∣uitude, and to restore my Spirit to Libertie, redu∣cing myselfe to the Seruice of my Creatour, and Redeemer, of whome I am to require, that seeing hee bought mee with his bloud, * to free mee from the Slauerye of Sinne, that with this newe Title I might bee his Slaue; that hee permitte not that I bee any more the Slaue of my Fleshe, nor of my Vices, nor of the Deuill his Enemye.