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Origens repentance: after he had sacrificed to the idols of the heathen Gathered from Suidas, Nicephorus, Osiander, and the Greeke and Latine coppies in Origens workes; illustrated and applied to the case of euery poore penitent ... Diuided into three sections: containing 1 Origens fearefull fall. 2 His behauiour in it. 3 His worthy and sound conuersion. Together with Origens life and death, and other materiall obseruations. Written by Stephen Ierom, Master of Arts, and preacher of the towne of Newcastle; first for his owne exercise, and now published for the good of others.

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Title
Origens repentance: after he had sacrificed to the idols of the heathen Gathered from Suidas, Nicephorus, Osiander, and the Greeke and Latine coppies in Origens workes; illustrated and applied to the case of euery poore penitent ... Diuided into three sections: containing 1 Origens fearefull fall. 2 His behauiour in it. 3 His worthy and sound conuersion. Together with Origens life and death, and other materiall obseruations. Written by Stephen Ierom, Master of Arts, and preacher of the towne of Newcastle; first for his owne exercise, and now published for the good of others.
Author
Jerome, Stephen, fl. 1604-1650.
Publication
Printed at London :: By Iohn Beale, for Roger Iackson, and are to be sold at his shop neere Fleet-Conduit,
1619.
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http://name.umdl.umich.edu/B14220.0001.001
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"Origens repentance: after he had sacrificed to the idols of the heathen Gathered from Suidas, Nicephorus, Osiander, and the Greeke and Latine coppies in Origens workes; illustrated and applied to the case of euery poore penitent ... Diuided into three sections: containing 1 Origens fearefull fall. 2 His behauiour in it. 3 His worthy and sound conuersion. Together with Origens life and death, and other materiall obseruations. Written by Stephen Ierom, Master of Arts, and preacher of the towne of Newcastle; first for his owne exercise, and now published for the good of others." In the digital collection Early English Books Online 2. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/B14220.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed June 17, 2024.

Pages

SECTION I.

The Argument.
Origen shewes his griefe, and cause of griefe; The Vertues heauen had giuen him, his abuse: Sathans deceitfull wiles; displaies in briefe All their pollutions, and their subtill vse.
1.
OH thou who reades each sins confused line,* 1.1 Vapors of inke sent from my spotted soule; Conioyn thy teares, thy sighes, thy sobs to mine, Bewaile my woes, assist mee to condole; Pray with me, for me; prayers & teares do saile mee, Or if forth powr'd or showr'd, they'le not auail me.
2
So hard's my heart, so stony is my rocke, So frozen is my fount, my streames do stop; Sinne prisons sorrow, guilt doth griefe vp-locke, And euery sprig of grace Hels sword doth lop: I that was once a fruitfull spreading Vine, Sin-blasted, wasted, witherd, now decline.
3
How can I grow that haue no root of grace, Nor dewes of Hermon, heauens sweet refreshing? How shall I speake, when words will take no place? Words, sighes, tears, stopt, staid, dull'd by transgressing; Clipt are Faiths wings; Oh whither should I flie! Sin stops Gods eares, to whom then should I cry?

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4
How should I walke? my legges sin-shackled are: How shall I see? spirituall eyes are wanting. What hope of peace, when God proclaimes me war? Where's courage, comfort, sinne my spirits danting? Who pleads my cause? my Aduocate doth leaue me: And hellish furies still of ioyes bereaue me.
5
Each Creature cries, and calles to be reuenged; Because with Idols I haue beene partaker, And traitrously reuolting haue offended, They threaten death in quarrell of their Maker; And if (Sea-like) they were not kept in bound, From wormes to Angels, all would me confound.
6
The Sun doth blush my sin, and threats my bane, Because (Owle-like) I fled the best Sunnes light; The Moone, the Starres, against me doe complaine, As with a seconda 1.2 Sisera prest to fight; Because fild full of light from Graces Sunne, Light, life, and loue, I lost, like wauering Moone.
7
I feare the Angels, and Arch-angels all, Cherubs, and Seraphins, the Thrones, and Powers; Their seueral orders thought Hierarchicall, The Bridegroomes Paranimphes, Churches Paramours, As iust reuengers of my fearefull fall, Since gainst their God my crimes were capitall.
8
In fiery flames my feares are to be burn'd, Asb 1.3 Sodomites,c 1.4 two fifties Captaines slaine, Because zeales fiers are into ashes turn'd; Sinced 1.5 Lots are vext, & wronged Saints complaine. Thus quencht and dampt, is euery flame of grace, And with these outward heats my flesh deface.

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9
I feare the liquid aires tempestuous traine, Of haile, snow, storms, frost, whirlewinds, bolts of thūders, Since such extreams, such vipers oft hath slaine, Whose sins like mine, broght plagues, were ages wonders; Wel may ayre choake me with infectious smoothers, Since my pollutions haue infected others.
10
I feare the whelming waters to deuoure me, Ase 1.6 Iabins troupes, and thosef 1.7 Aegyptian foes: I sinke in Seas of sinnes, which ouer-poure me, The greater Sea the lesser may inclose; In surging waues I doe deserue the floating, Since, light as wateryg 1.8 Reuben, was my doating.
11
I feare the Beasts, my selfe the greatest beast,h 1.9 (As all the wicked are by Scriptures telling) Haue broke the bonds of grace, Gods Lawes & heast, Gainst Heauen sinning, gainst my King rebelling; Boares tusks, dogs fangs, buls horns, bears pawes do fright me; Snakes stings, birds beaks, each creature doth despight me.
12
For they may plague mee here, and after rise My guilt to witnesse, and my fault t'accuse, (As Shebaes Queenei 1.10 who went to heare the Wise; Or weeping Niniuites condemne the Iewes) So they may me, for they haue kept their place, Whilst I like Lucifer, haue falne from grace.
13
And as the Forrest Beasts that heare the sound Of their King Lyons voice, doe frighted quake; So I that heare and feele the thundring wound Of Iudahs Lyon, like the water shake, And with affrighted Euek 1.11 would liue vnknowne; All things haue guard, onely our feares haue none.

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14
Yea, myi 1.12 Recorder, Iudge, and petty God, Altar of peace, earst Patron of my cause, Is now my Iayle, my racke, my scourge, my rodde, (As Aetna; Curtius gulfe) opes fiery iawes, And for my sinne, to sucke me vp, still threats; As blood-guilt wretchk 1.13, I'm pincht with pincers heats.
15
Oh metamorphosis! oh transmutation! Oh pricks! thornes, briers, on the vile sprigs of sinne: Oh bitter fruite! what change? what alteration? In body, soule, in minde, without, within? Oh pleasing poyson-sinne! oh Diuels delusion! Oh Pha••tons folly! Chaos of confusion.
16
Oh hart, heau'ns harbor, throne of heau'ns great King, The Bridegroomes bed, the garden growne with spicesl 1.14, The Spirits sweet lodge, heau'ns quire, where Angels sing; Now nest of vncleane birds, repleate with vices, A cage of stinging Scorpions, den of Diuels, Where Zims and Oyms haunt all sinfull euilsm 1.15.
17
Once felt I meltings, when the Bridegroomes voice Spake blandishments, and languishings of loue; Sweete extasies, my rapt soule did reioice, Ioyes influence distilling from aboue; O Pythagorean musicke of the Spheares! What Lydian, Doricke tunes, my Spirits cheares?
18
Now heart and harpe is broke, all frets, all strings My musicke marr'd, the Organ of my glory; My tongue, my bell, an harsh alarum rings, Vntun'd, vntim'd, vntrim'd, sad, sullen, sorry, Nor can my voice like Cymbals sound Gods praise, Wanting the Soules blest breath her Tones to raise.

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19
My will once will'd t'obay Gods sacred lore, Like melting waxe, as men gold threeds doe draw, As tamed Heifers vs'd to'th yoake before, Submisse to beare, to doe Gods will and law; Since nilling late, to lend Gods truth my blood, I neuer since had will to worke one good.
20
My loue inflam'd to thee my Christ, thy Church, Thy glorious truth, thy holy ones, thy Saints, Now alienate by wilie Serpents lurch, With other obiects base it selfe acquaints: Chang'd are Loues torrents, streames are crosly flowing, Oares of affections are contrary rowing.
21
On God my feare was once diuinely placed,* 1.16 Tri-Vne Iehouah, was my loue, my dread: But now those prints of grace from heart are raced; And slauish feares are written in her stead: Such as are writ in Caine, or in the Diuell, The damned Ghosts, or Angels which are euill.n 1.17
22
But Conscience, Oh thou Pearle of Pearles the best! My safeties Arke, hid Manna, hony-tasting, Gold Throne of Salomon, faire port of rest, How are Seas sinne broke in, thy comforts wasting; Croesus call'd Solon, when his fate was dying; I Conscience, Conscience, cry; but none's replying.
23
As Saul that rebell King, whom God reiects, (Nor answeres by his Vrim, nor his Thumim, By Oracle or Prophets sacred texts,) Is in his strictest needs to Samuels running;o 1.18 As Zedechiah flies from place to place,p 1.19 Besieg'd and sackt, yet finds no rest nor grace.

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24
So I to God, t' his Church, to conscience flie, My bosomes Ionathan, my friend, my Fort; Yet heare no answere, hope no good reply, Because to Endors Witch I did resort, And by my offerings Idols did preferre, Ioyning my selfe to th' worst Idolater.
25
How haue my fancies dream'd? what haue I done? What were my thoghts? Oh hand what wast thou acting? Wind-turning weathercocke, most changing Moone Ecclipst by Earth, no Sun of grace reflecting; Inclos'd and clouded in the mysts of sinne, Depriu'd of heate and light, without, within.
26
Oh what a torture in my troubled soule! (Worse then the wrestling of Rebeccaes twinnesq 1.20) Subiected now to Sathans base controule, And vassalliz'd by tyrannizing sinne; Faithes Fort subdued, and euery grace supplanted, Armies of feares haue all my spirits danted.
27
O speckled Soule! O miserable Man! Oh worst of Saints! Oh grosse and grieuous sinner! How are my beauties blasts? my meale all branne? My gold turn'd drosse? helpe, helpe, O Soules refiner; For Sathans fanne hath seuer'd all my wheate, Nought's left but chaffe to satisfie hels heate.
28
A guilded Tombe, a Sepulcher be painted, A varnisht pillar, plac'st in Gods owne Temple, With formes of grace, with substance neere acquainted, Of holiest Hypocrites, the worst example; A standing Cypher, onely making number, Seeming to wake, yet euer in a slumber.

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29
Oh sin! harts gal, thoghts grief, my souls deep wound, Sadding my Spirit, my curelesse conscience raging, Within my flesh no powers nor parts be sound, My scorching heats, nor man, nor meanes asswaging; Onely Christs blood pour'd from each passiue vaine, Can heale my heart, my hurt, and helpe my paine.
30
To this I runne, poore silly sheepe for shelter, From raging iawes of* 1.21 wolues that would inuade me; In mine owne strength, in mine owne blood I welter, Till thy blest hand (my Soules Physitian) aide me; Each shadow, thoght, moat, hair, or dream doth feare me, (My guilt so great) lest ragingr 1.22 Lyons teare me.
31
O whither flie I? where, where shall I hide me From thy fierce wrath? O thou great God of vengeance: Nor Caines 1.23 nor Iudas, no ill may abide thee, But flie as heartlesse Deare the Hunters launce; Who viewes the frowning count'nance of thine ire, Is as drie stubble; for thy wrath is fier.
32
In euery place thou frights me with thy presence, In Heau'n, Earth, Hell, & deeps, thy powr's extended, Thou fill'st the World with thine vnmeasur'd essence, Where lurk I then? wraths brow, wraths bow once bēded. Each cauerne corner of this Earth thou knowest, Thou weild'st this welkin, through the Sea thou rowest.
33
No bush, nor leafe, could hide sin-conscious Adams 1.24, From thine all-seeing, all-surueying eyes; Nor Ionast 1.25 Tarsus Barge, nor Tents theefe* 1.26 Achan, No distance deafes thine eares from sinnes shrill cries: Oh then my sinnes as Sodomes pierce thy hearing, As red as crimson in thy sight appearing.

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34
My facts are writ in thy memorials Bookes, Characteriz'd with Adamantine Penne, On which thine eye of Iustice hourely lookes, And sees each sinne, where it was done, and when; Lest thou forget, or I find ease within, My conscience checkes, curbes, cries doe neuer linne.
35
For if I would thee flie, yet flie my selfe I neuer could; my conscience still doth dog me, This Naemesis pursues, this fretting Elfe, This Wolfe, this Vultur gnawes, this lead doth clog mee, This bloody Slouth-hound all my footings traces, And finds me out, though in Meanders Mazes.
36
O pangs of selfe-guilt! how thy hellish brand Inflames my feeling parts with scorching dolors? A spirit which haunts and whips me with sinnes wand, (Like Brutus Ghost) affrights with fearefull colors; (As Abelsu 1.27 blood) this guilt hath loudly cried, That Peterx 1.28 like my Christ I haue denied.
37
Sinne Lyon-like, longy 1.29 couchant at my doores, Now gripes and grinds my heart, his seazed pray, As Tygers, or flesh-wolues ones flesh deuoures; My guilt me gnawes, whence heart as Hind doth bray: This Cerberus barkes, and bites with fixed fangs, Oh dyre convulsion! oh corroding pangs!
38
As bleeding Deere, hit, hurt with venom'd arrow, Runnes raging, restlesse midst the briery thicket, So sins dire dart transfixt through my soules marrow, Wounds, rots, rankles, restlesly doth pricke it; Like teeming women, paines and pangs increase, As sicke men, place I change, but find no peace.

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39
As trait'rous in my sinne, so sorts my sorrow, On rending racke my heart's each houre extended; I sigh the nights, and sing laments all morrow: For Gods owne bow against me lieth bended; Th'inuenom'd arrowes of his wrath haue hit me, Nor will my stricter Iudge or Bayle acquit me.
40
Nor will my Iaylor free one fettred thought, But (Dogge-like) dogs me still, my soule accusing, With Scritch-owle-outcries, tels me what I wrought; My place, my grace, my God, my Church abusing: When sins foule guilt did first my conscience staine, By offering incense to an Idoll vaine.
41
Woe to my selfe, woe to my fact, my faulting,* 1.30 Woe to my griefe, my guilt, my horride anguish, My crooked paths, my blameful, shameful haulting; My streining conscience, bringing life to languish: Woe to my crauen heart, my Hare-like fearing, My coward courage, no temptation bearing.
42
Woe to my retchlesse reason, carnall counsell, My flatt'ring flesh, my seeming friend, my foe; With which consulting, head-long downe I fell Into this Sea of sinne, these waues of woe, In which now drencht, I drowne, 'lesse mercy minde me; Lost, 'lesse my Pylot steare, and pastor finde me.
43
Woe to my hand, first actor in this treason, Woe to my heart, first causer of my quailing, Woe to the place, the persons, woe the season; In which, by which my subtile foe preuailing, I grieu'd my God, and scandaliz'd his Saints, Sin prest, opprest my soule, through which it faints.

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44
Oh pitty, pitty me, my cause, my case Friends, fellowes, followers, pupils, Christians all, Humbly I beg, you'le pray the God of grace, My sins to pardon, to remit my fall, To purge my spots with that vnspotted bloud Was shed for mee, where my blest surety stood.
45
Meane while Ile waile and sigh my sins transgression, And striue to wash my watery couch with weeping, From hearts compunction moaning my digression, And to the throne of grace submisly creeping, Poure out my soule, and spend it like a taper, Till all the fog of sinne exhale to vapor.
46
Oh that my head a wel-springa 1.31 were of waters, And euery haire dissolu'd to brinish teares, These mates (my sorrowes) should be quicke relaters To the wide world, filling all open eares, That God, men, Angels, spirits aboue, beneath, (If sensible) should heare my bellowing breath.
47
Oh that my head were turn'd into a fountaine, Mine eyes to standing lakes, the lids to sluces; Each dale, each vale, each groue, each desert mountaine Should witnesse well my woes for mine abuses: All fields, all forrests should my gronings know, And Eccho tell what throbs from my heart flow.
48
If none would answer, yet that sad Nymph would, For she repeats each lamentable story, Though faining Poets paint her for a scold, Yet Shee in part would shew how I am sory: The Hyades and Dryades would weepe, To heare my rufull cries wak't from sinnes sleepe.

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49
If wisht desire were deeds, more would I weepe Then watery Niobe, then Heraclitea 1.32, Then he that stole Vrias fairest shepeb 1.33, Then shee that washt and wipt her Sauiours feetec 1.34. Then that Disciple which deni'd his Masterd 1.35, And after heal'd sinnes wound with sorrowes plaster.
50
O that my braine a perfect limbecke weree 1.36, Distilling teares extract by heauenly fier, These sweete dew drops would melt sinnes slauish feare, Such flowing flouds would quench heau'ns kindled ire. Not all the Nectar and Ambrosian iuyce Were halfe so welcome as those teares of truce.
51
O teares the keyes that opes the way to blisse, The holy water quenching celestiall fire, Th'attoment true 'twixt God and mans amisse, The Angels drinke, the blessed Saints desire; The ioy of Christ, the balme of grieued hearts, The spring of life, the ease of all mens smarts.
52
The second King of Israel by successionb 1.37, When with Vrias wife he had offended, In bitter teares bewail'd his great transgression, And by his teares found grace, by grace amended: He night and day in weeping did remainec 1.38, I night nor day can any teare constraine.
53
And yet my sinne in magnitude and waight His farre exceeds; how comes it then to passe That my repentance should not be as straight, Sith Graces face (deare Lord) is as it was? The truth is this, although my need be more, I am not humbled as he was before.

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54
* 1.39O haplesse Soule! that bear'st the stampe of Heauen, Why didst thou thus abuse Heau'ns holy pleasure? Oh why was sense and reason to me giuen? That in my bounds I could not keepe a measure: I know I must account for euery fault, Yet with my God I heathenishly did hault.
55
This to peruse (deare God) kils my poore soule, Did not thy mercies it reuiue againe; O heare me (Lord) in bitternesse and dole; That of my fall doe prostrate here complaine: And at thy feete with Mary knocke for grace, Though wanting Maries teares to wet my face.
56
Shee (happy conuert) saw her life misled, At sight whereof her inward heart did bleede, To witnesse which, her outward teares were shed; Oh blessed Saint! and oh thrice blessed deede! But wretched I, that did worse sinnes then hers, Nor teares can shed, nor griefe within me stirs.
57
When shee had lost thy presence but one day, Thy want was such as shee could not sustaine, But to thy Tombe shee takes the readiest wayc 1.40, There sprinckling funerall teares like dropping raine; Nor from her search was shee once stirr'd or moued, Till shee had gain'd thy sight, her dearely loued.
58
But I haue lost thy presence many daies, Yet still am slacke to seeke thee as I should; My soyled soule in sinnes pollution staies, Vnmeete to moue vnto thee, though I would: Yet if I could by faith thy helpe attend, I know I should, as shee, find thee my friend.

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59
Oh could I stay and pray! But oh how hard Is my steel'd heart! of mettall vnrelenting, How is all ghostly feeling from me barr'd From day to day? deferring my repenting; With carrion Crowes* 1.41 still croaking out to morrow, When present sores aske present plastring sorrow.
60
As baser banckerouts posting off their day, And their beleeuing creditors deludes, That neuer finds a time their debts to pay; So grace that knockes each houre (1), my heart secludes,(3) 1.42 Nor audience giues vnto the Spirits motion, Prescribing Rew,(2) 1.43 sinnes purging bitter potion.
61
Oh we mad men, procrastinating thus, Our tributary teares, our wisht conuersion:(3) 1.44 Not diffrence much betwixt bruite(4) 1.45 beasts and vs, (5) 1.46That runne in riots to our Soules subuersion; Retchlesse, regardlesse of Gods bounteous proffers, VVhich pressing present teares, grace present offers.(6) 1.47
62
What senselesse Beggar doth reiect his almes? What wearied Plaintiffe stops his causes hearing?* 1.48 What Souldiour's deafe to th'sound of drummes, phifes, shalms? What innocent wrong'd, puts off his present clearing? What vlcerous Leper would refuse his cure? What spotted face would not againe be pure?
63
Who scorns the blood-stone for to stanch his bleeding? Who thea 1.49 Olibanum to cure his stitch? What poore Petitioner staies his well-proceeding? Who present pulling forth, from fier, pond, ditch? Yet we fond sinfull men, weake wits, vnwise, Deferre repentance, present grace despise.

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64
Amongst these fooles in highest ranke I stand, Who ought to be the first of penitents; Refusing cure from the best Surgions hand, Still lingring, calls of grace, in Kedars tents. Oh soule seduc'd, oh flesh as fond as fraile, With whom, nor grace, nor iustice can preuaile.
65
I know the sacred searcher of each heart,7 1.50 Both sees8 1.51 and knowes the deeds which I haue done, And for my last foule fact, may cause me smart, No sheltring place his fiery wrath can shunne: I should deceiue my selfe, to thinke that he For sinne would punish others, and spare me9 1.52.
66
The first man10 1.53 Adam (he that bred mans thrall) For one bare sinne was cast from perfect rest, And all mankind was banisht by his fall From Paradise; and vnto sorrow prest. If he for one, and all for him feele paines, What plagues for me, for greater sinnes remaines?
67
* 1.54The Angels made to attend the Lord in glory, Were thrust from heauen; onely for one sinne; That but in thought (as some record the story) For which they now in lasting darknesse bin. If they (once glorious) thus tormented be, I baser slime, what will become of me?
68
To Achan,1 1.55 Achans house one sinne of theft, As one of blood, brought sinne to Israels King;2 1.56 One sinne of pride hath Herods life bereft;3 1.57 One sinne of drinke to Nabal death did bring4 1.58. One sinne did5 1.59 Nadab burne; of sinnes, my one Exceeds all these, how can I scape alone?

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69
What shall become of me, that not in thought, In thought alone, but in my words and deed, Besides birth-sinnes, this actuall sinne hath wrought? Idolatrizing makes my soule to bleed. What's to be done? Ile take the mourning wings, And onely flye to Christ, to cure my stingsb 1.60.
70
I know 'tis vaine, as saith the wisest man, To call againe the deeds which once are pastc 1.61: Oh let me see, what best is for me than, To gaine thy fauour, whiles fraile life doth last, That in the next I may admitted be In the mean'st office to attend on thee.
71
I will (as did the prodigall Sonne* 1.62 sometime) Vpon my knees with heartie true contrition And weeping eyes, confesse my former crime, And humbly begging, craue with low submission, That thou wilt not of former crimes detect me* 1.63 But like a louing Father now respect me.
72
Or as the wife that hath her husband wrong'd, Ile come with teares, and with a blushing cheeke, For giuing Idols what to God belong'd; And say, my King, my Lord, my loue most meeke, I haue defil'd the bed that thou didst owe, Forgiue me this, and mercy free bestow.
73
And though the world can witnesse mine abuse, As true spectators of my tragedie; My staring eyes Ile put to such good vse, Wearying my Iudge, so with my constant crie: That when my wrinckles shall my sorrowes tell, The world may say I ioy'd not, though I fell.

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74
Euen thus in sorrow will I spend my breath, And spot my face with neuer-ceasing teares, Till griefe-bred winckles (messengers of death) Haue purchast mercie, and remou'd my feares; And then the World within my lookes shall see, The woe, the wracke, the sinne that troubled me.
75
And lest my teares should faile me at my neede, Before my face Ile fixe my Sauiours passiond 1.64, And see how his most precious sides did bleede, And note his death and torments in such fashion, As neuer man the like did vndertake, How freely he hath suffred for my sake.
76
If this his kindnesse and his mercie showne, Cannot prouoke me vnto tender crying, Then will I backe againe turne to mine owne, Mine owne foule sinne, caus'd by my faiths denying; And if for them no teares mine eies can finde, Sighes shall cause teares, & make mine eies more blind.
77
Oh hardned heart! oh more then flintie soule! Hewed out of Caucasus, oh Pumice eyes! Braine drie as summer channels, or parcht scroule; Oh tongue vntun'd for Hymnes, or holy cries! Deare Lord vnloose her strings, dissolue my flint, Strike my hearts rocke, that teares may neuer stint.
78
For as my sinnes surmount the sands in number, And equallize the twinckling starres of Heauen, * 1.65The heauiest weights that ere the Earth did cumber, So neede I mercies more, to be forgiuen; And sorrowes more, which may those mercies craue, To raise my3 1.66 Laz'rus soule from sinnes deepe graue.

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79
No sinne so sinfull, neuer wretch so wicked, Transgrest as I (so full, so foule rebelling) Like to a wanton Colt gainst God I kicked, Against my Master; light and life expelling: In whom I liu'd, and mou'd, and had my being, Gainst him I spurn'd, his faith, his feare denying.
80
Apostate I,* 1.67 of all Apostates worst, Am farre ascendant in the scorners seate, In sinnes degrees commencst aboue th'accurst; Of cowards chiefe that euer made retreate, Flying his Captaines colours, and his cause, Frighted with feares of deaths deuouring iawes.
81
Nota 1.68 Hymeneus, Asian Alexander, b 1.69Phigellus, or Philetus,c 1.70 Demas,d 1.71 Iude, Hermogenes, ore 1.72 Nicholas did wander, So farre from faith, or practis'd halfe so leude: f 1.73Spire, Pimbletong 1.74, nor any time hath knowne, Like me turn'd Haggard, which away haue flowne.
82
I that was Captaine, thus to leaue my colours, A Shepheard, to the Wolfe to yeeld my sheepe, How the remembrance filles my soule with dolours, The Trumpe of truth proclaimes my sinfull sleepe; And in this backward race I beare that bell, Which rings my shame, and toules my fames last knell.
83
I that was plac'd in Christ his Church a pillar, Prop to the weake, and to the blind a guide, A friend to truth, to Sion a well-willer, Now turn'd Apostate, and thus backe to slide; This fact intrencheth me within the lists, Ofh 1.75 Oecebolians, or damn'd Iulianistsi 1.76.

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84
I that in Alexandria was a light, The Churches starre, ore Christendome faire shining; I that such learned Volumes did indight, Besides all paines, disputing, and diuining, Oh (woes me wretch) my lights are out, or spotted, My Starre is falne, and all my lines are blotted.
85
Once was I call'd a constant Adamanti 1.77, So firme my faith, so fixed was my heart, No troubles could me moue, no crosses dant: This name, this fame, now lost, and laide apart, Not Adamas, but Demas Demens name me, And by that stile, let after Ages shame me.
86
I that could speake the threefold sacred tongues, Hebrew, Greeke, Latine; learn'd in all the Arts, To whose disputes ak 1.78 thousand Students throngs, Trouping (as Bees to Thyme) from distant parts, To sucke the Nectar dropping from my tongue; Euen that maim'd member, did my God most wrong.
87
I that could diue into the deepes profounda 1.79 Of Natures Well, thence drayning wondrous notions, Of plants, herbs, roots, gums, trees, which grace the groūd; Of heauenly lights, stars, fluxe, names, natures, motions; Yet for all this, Natures great God despising, With Pagan fooles should be Idolatrising.

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88
I that was read in all the mysticke songs, Of numerous Poets, sacred, and prophane, I that couldb 1.80 criticke euery Writers wrongs, And rectifie his least transgressing straine; I that suckt hony from each Authours hiue, Should now worst Bee, drone-like, leaue off to thriue.
89
I that in th' Mathematickes deepe was seene, And publicke readc 1.81 mine Arithmeticke lines, But married chiefe to'th Arts commanding Queened 1.82; e 1.83Shining as Moone, mongst Starres of best Diuines, Like morning starre should fall from orbe of Heauen, Oh light, lend light, till darke sinnes be forgiuen.
90
Is he admir'd, ador'd, whose farre blowne fame, The Trumpe of mouths through forrein coasts doth ring? Then I; whose fame to'th Emperours Mother came, Who sends her Guard, which me to Antioch bringf 1.84; Whose heauenly lore, shee hauing heard and seene, Poures gifts vpon me, like greatg 1.85 Shebaes Queene.
91
From whence to Alexandria com'd againe, Opening Truthes sacred, secret mysteries, I then encreast my labours and my paineh 1.86, In commenting the holy Historiesi 1.87; Yet grosse Idolatry succeeding next, A falser glosing glosse, corrupts Truthes text.

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92
Twas I the present times so much admir'd, (Like Roman Liuie) some came farre to view me: So sound my iudgement, th' heathens Chiefe desir'd, By push of learn'd encounters to subdue me; Both Platonist and Pythagorian, All whom confuting, some to faith I wank 1.88.
93
Besides disputes with Heretikes (hell bredl 1.89) Whose* 1.90 Dagon-errors fell before Gods Arke, The Spirits bright sword cut off their Hydras head; Truths light discouer'd, beate away their darke: Some Heathens, Heretike-conuerts were baptized, As Gods new plants,m 1.91 were watred, catechized.
94
These grew in grace, but since haue I declined; These forward went,n 1.92 like Elie I backe fell: These prosper'd well, I staru'd away and pined: These liu'd good Subiects, but I did rebell; These worshipt God in spirit first and last, I Sathan; when to Diuels I incense cast.
95
The more my blame, the more my shames confusion, The more my griefe, the more my bitter gall, So farre t'attend my subtile foes delusion, So farre from good, from grace, from God to fall; The more excuselesse is my yeelding sinne, More meanes, bands, bounds, I had to hedge me in.
96
* 1.93I knew the best, yet still did worse and worse; I knew the right, yet went the way was wrong; Saw Iacobs blessing, yet tooke Esaus curse; Knew truths sweete tune, yet erring notes I song; I knew the poyson, yet did drinke my fill; Saw what was good, yet follow'd what was ill.

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97
I base, bad seruant, thus moe stripes deseruing,* 1.94 Because I knew what was my Masters will, Yet from the same byo 1.95 wiles and weakenesse sweruing, Am worthy drowning in my floods of ill, In which by slauish feares, by seruile failing, I plung'd my soule, temptations so preuailing.
98
Each circumstance addes weight vnto my fall, To sinke me deepe in this deadp 1.96 Sea of sinne, Chiefly my knowledge, and my place withall, The grace with Gods true Church I liued in, Professor of his sacred truth by teaching, But diffring farre in practise from my preaching.
99
I knew there's but oneq 1.97 God, as Sunne but one, One Earth, one Phoenix, and one Soule in Man; I knew this God would worshipt be aloner 1.98: Idols are vaine, vile, grosse, ands 1.99 nothing can. Thus with this truth, these Monsters still I slue, Teaching it others, yet my selfe vntrue.
100
Thus opposite to nature, false to all, The noble gifts, with which I was indued, I did proclaime with greatnesse of my fall, Stumbling on that I best might haue eschued; But pause my soule a little, take new breath, And then anew, weepe out thy liuing death.

Notes

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