was at Rome with honour and success: that the affairs for which I return'd thither, were very odious and apt to render all persons suspected that meddle therewith; but as for me in particular, for reasons he had, and could not declare to me, he de∣sired me to take it well that he told me, that there was no person less fit to meddle therewith then I: That to advise me as a friend, he conceiv'd himself oblig'd to advertise me that I must not appear a∣gain, but resolve to return back, and that with all speed.
Had I before understood the reason which mov'd Cardinal d' Este to speak in this manner, I should have been more surpris'd therewith then I was: yet I forbore not to testifie some astonishment to his Highness, because on the one side I was glad to find how far he would discover what had pass'd before the Pope; of which I still kept my self from seeming to have any light: And on the other, I was not at all willing to acquiesce in his counsel: For though I was sure of the affection, sincerity and generosity of him that gave it, yet I was also sure that he gave it me without having examin'd things to the bottom, and only considering my interest and safety: wherefore I told the Cardi∣nal that I had so great respect and yieldance to his sentiments, as to submit mine to them readily, were the affair occasioning my return particularly my own; but it concern'd the most illustrious Bi∣shops of France who intrusted me with it, and pro∣mising themselves from my submission to their Orders, that I would punctually follow them when I had receiv'd them, rely'd upon me therein without looking out any other person more capable of dis∣charging the same, as they would have done, had they not depended upon me, and therefore I could not fail in answering their expectation in a busi∣ness so important as they accounted this which they had committed to me. To shew him in what terms they had treated me, I drew out of my Poc∣ket the Letters which they writ to me: The Car∣dinal thereupon answer'd, That those Prelates in France did not so understand the state of things at Rome as they do who are there, and have a clearer insight into those affairs; that he would return M. d' Angers an answer, and would assure him, and desire him to assure all the other Bishops of my good will and forwardness, and that I had not de∣sisted execuing the Commission they gave me, but upon reasons to which it was impossible not to yield: I reply'd to the Cardinal, That I did not know those reasons; that he would oblige me in telling me them, if there were any, as I doubted not; but I could not imagine there were any pre∣valent enough to countenance such a desisting as his Highness spoke of; being convinc'd as I was of the importance of the affair intrusted to me: That besides I did not fear being blam'd for it at Rome, when it was once consider'd; being certain that the H. See is more interested therein then a∣ny, and that in the prosecution I was to make, the service of that is more concern'd then of the Pre∣lates who oblig'd me to return.
The Cardinal seeing me so firm, bid me do as I would; but he said, I had best take heed; That for his own part, he was convinc'd of the neces∣sity of the advice he gave me; That he exhorted me again as a friend to follow it, and before my de∣parture to speak with the Cardinals Spada and Bar∣berin; whom he believ'd well affected towards me; and to see what their Eminencies would say to me. I answer'd, that I would wait upon my LL. the Cardinals Spada and Barberin, but not in order to change my purpose; for were I so minded, it should be upon what his Highness had said to me: wherefore intending not to fail to present to his Holiness the Letters which my LL. the Bishops had sent to him, I beseecht his Highness to procure for me assoon as possible an audience for that end.
I perceiv'd for certain that my remaining so firm in my resolution, troubled the Cardinal d' Este; that he lookt upon me as one that was going to sacrifice himself, that he heartily wisht he could prevent the unhappiness I was ready to fall into; and that he conceiv'd (as he told me) that did I know what mov'd him to give me such counsel, I would take it of my self without needing any reason to perswade me of its necessity. But the Excommunication under penalty of which he was oblig'd to such religious secrecy as he us'd to the H. Office, made him rather consent to my unhappiness which he believ'd inevitable (not∣withstanding his affection to me) then to violate the same by telling me a word, though my deli∣verance depended thereupon. Wherefore he pro∣mis'd me that in case I met with the least difficul∣ty or delay of the audience which I desir'd to have of his Holiness, he would recommend me to some Officers in whom he had an interest, who should accelerate the same; but he said, he did not believe the recommendation necessary, considering the acquaintance I had lately by his mediation with those very Officers which t'was likely they had not yet forgotten. As for the Prelates who sign'd the Letters which I had to present, he askt me what number there was of them: I avoided telling him, by answering, that their Letters were seal'd, as indeed they were all at that time. And this I did, because I had not yet receiv'd them from all that were to send them: I hop'd they would arrive be∣fore I could obtain audience of the Pope; and I was willing their names should be all known toge∣ther, that so the first apprehension which would be had from their number, might not be disad∣vantageous to the business in a Country where I knew many things are measur'd by the outside and the show. At length I took my leave, more sa∣tisfied with this visit, in regard of the affection testified to me by this Cardinal, in his hearty en∣deavouring to perswade me from proceeding fur∣ther in this business, then he was with my resolu∣tion which I signified to him of driving it on to the utmost, in regard of the danger which his Highness believ'd I incur'd.
On the Sunday morning (June 18) I present∣ed my self in the Pope's Presence-Chamber in my Gown, Cap and Furr'd-hood, to have audience of him; I heard his Mass, and spent all the forenoon there; but audience there was none for me; Car∣dinal Gueva who took leave that day of his Holi∣ness to go to his Bishoprick in Spain, ingross'd it all. Also all the Jesuites Assistants waited for it, to give the Pope notice of the decease of the••r Ge∣neral who dy'd the day before. When I saw au∣dience desperate for me that day, I resolv'd to