The life and adventures of Buscon the witty Spaniard.: Put into English by a person of honour. To which is added, the provident knight. By Don Francisco de Quevedo, a Spanish cavalier.

The Knight of the Industry relateth the History of his life to Buscon, and possess∣eth him with a great desire to be one of his Order.

IN the first place, you must under∣stand the Court is like Noah's Ark, there are all sorts of creatures in't, good and bad, wise and foolish; those who are good, are very rare, and those who are bad, difficult to be known, for they counterfeit themselves to an hair. Amongst the rest, there is one sort of people, of which Order I my self am, who have neither Goods nor Chattels, moveable or immoveable, in possession or reversion; We are generally call'd

Knights of the Industry. Now because there are several ranks, we have parti∣cular names by which they are distin∣guish'd. Some are call'd Cloak-twitch∣ers, others Pick-pockets, others Setters, others Snaps, others Trappaners,, o∣thers Hectors, others Lyons, Free-boot∣ers, and the like; by which their pro∣fessions are differenced: We have as∣sum'd the Title of Industry, because she is our guide and Protectress. Our most usual food is, that of the Camele∣ons, for our stomach's are seldom fil'd with ought but air, it being a work of great labour when we drain our nourish∣ment from another mans Kitchin: We are the destruction of Banquets, the Sponges of Taverns, and the Guests of the forc'd Put; however we live to our content: we are a people that feed upon an Onyon, and yet with a tooth∣pick in our mouths, pretend to have eat∣en a Capon. If any one makes us a vi∣sit, he is sure to find our chambers strow'd over with bones of mutton or

fowl, with parings of fruit, a feather-tub, or Rabbets-feet; all which we had pick'd up in the Streets in the night to credit us: presently we would cry out, I see it is impossible for me to pre∣vail with my servants to make clean the room any sooner. I beg your pardon Sir, for I have had some friends with me, and these wicked Rascals — They who knew us not would beleeve us. But what shall I tell you of our Free-Booters? If at any time we speak but half a word with any man, we pre∣sently force an acquaintance upon him, we enquire out his lodging, and just at dinner-time we go to wait upon him, and tell him the inclination we had to honour and serve him, obliged us to that visit: that we are charm'd with his ingenuity and incomparable parts. If he ask us whether we have din'd, and we find the cloth going to be laid, we answer not yet; and if we find the cloth taken away, we tell him yes. If he once speak to us to stay, we never ex∣pect

a second invitation, for we have of∣ten found our selves deceiv'd of our dinners by such straining of comple∣ments. When we are set at Table, though the Master of the house know ne∣ver so well how to carve, yet we tell him (the better to lick our fingers) If you please Sir, give it me, I shall help you. I remember Don such an one, God bless his Soul, (and then we name some deceased Duke or Marquess) would take greater delight to see me cut up a Partridge or Pheasant, than to eat of it, and then we take the fork and the knife, and cut it up. Oh how finely it smells, then say we, indeed you would wrong your Cook not to taste of it: What an excellent fellow 'tis! and thus we stuff our guts.

If perchance those Opportunities fail us, then we have recourse to the Pot∣tadge-pot of some Convert, and we tell him that gives the Dole, we came more out of devotion than necessity. It is worth a mans sight to behold one of us

at an Ordinary where play is, we are the most serviceable people in the world, we snuff the Candles, bring the cham∣ber-pots, and rejoyce at the winners good luck, and all this for six pence, which the winner bestowes upon us. For our clothes we know where the Frippery is, and because there is a set hour in divers places for Prayers, we have also set times for mending our clo∣thes.

To see the diversity of things that we do, is an incomparable pastime: we look upon the Sun as our mortal enemy, because he discovers our patches and tat∣ters. In the morning we lay our selves a sunning, and leaning down our heads, we behold upon the ground the shadow of the threads and jaggs which hang a∣bout us, then with a pair of Cissers we trim our apparell; and because most commonly we first wear out our clothes between our legs, we draw out some pei∣ces off the Rear to reinforce the Van; so that we are very careful ever after how

we lay off our cloaks, as also how we mount any ladder or tree, unless by compulsion. We practise our postures in the Sun-shine; at day time we walk close-legg'd, and make our salutations without parting our knees, lest if we should do otherwise, the embroideries of our py-bald breeches should be disco∣vered. To be short, there is not any thing we wear that had not sometimes another property, and of which one might derive another pedigree. Ob∣serve, I pray, this cloak which I wear, it is descended in a direct line from a horse-cloth, which was the daughter of a quondam coverlet. My Breeches pro∣ceeded from three chairs covered with green cloth, whose Grand-father was a boat-tilt: my Doublet was the Son of a skreen, begotten of the furniture of a Billiard-table, and in short time will be converted into socks.

We are very careful of coming neer candles, if at night-times we are in any company; for fear of discovering the

baldness and threed bareness of our cloaks, from which a man might shave as much as from a stone. It hath pleas'd heaven to bestow on us a beard, which it hath denyed our garments. We are also very sollicitous how we frequent such houses as are customed by any of our companions, lest they should inter∣fare with one another, and upon that account our bellies are sometimes jeal∣ous. We are tied by our orders to ride once a moneth, either on an horse, or a cole-staffe, it matters not which, and once a year in a Coach, at which times we endeavour to get into the boot, that all our acquaintance may take no∣tice of us: to which end we carry our bodies as far out of the Coach as we can, that we may not loose any opportunity of being seen. If perchance we feel a∣ny thing biting us, or the regiment of lice too importunate with us, we want not inventions to remove them before any company without the least discove∣ry: as for example, we talk of some bat∣tle,

and tell that a certain Souldier of our acquaintance had a slash from such a place to such a place in his body, and with that we scratch where it itches, and thus we comply with our necessity. If we should be thus surpris'd at Church, and they should bite upon our breasts, we fall to the Sanctus, though it be not yet the Introibo. If it take us behind, we get us to some Pillar, and seeming to look up at something, we heave up our selves, and so rub our selves at our pleasures: for matter of lying, you must know the word Truth never comes into our mouths. We always bring in head and shoulders some Duke or Earl into our discourse, some as our Kind∣red, others as our friends, but with this caution, that they be either deceas'd or far enough from us; and that which is very remarkeable amongst us, is, we are never in love, unless with de pane lu∣crando, for our Order doth expresly en∣joyn us to avoid the acquaintance of any Ladies, especially such who are more

apt to receive than give, be they never so honourable or handsome; so that we are forc'd to make addresses to the Cooks for our meals, to the Hostesses for our Lodgings, and so to all others of whom we may make any advantage. To proceed, do you see these boots here? You would think now that I have Stockings under them, but you are de∣ceiv'd, for I am both poor and bare, and whoever should see my collar, would hardly imagine I should want a shirt: but what need I tell you, you know already how the case stands with me; however a Knight may deny himself those other things, but his collar he may not, because it serves for an ornament to his person. To conclude Sir, a Knight who would be of our Order in perfecti∣on, ought to want as many necessaries as a Cockney setting out a journey: som∣times perhaps he may have a little mo∣ney in his pocket, at other times be in an Hospital eating of parch'd Pease, and thus we live in the Court, where who so

knows how to advance his Industry, passes his time like a disguis'd Prince.

Never was man so astonish'd as my self at the recital of this Order of Knight hood, which so pleas'd me, that we got to Rozas before night, or our expecta∣tion. I' me sure he made a Cully of me for the honour of his order, for he rid my mule, and made me beat it upon the hoof, and not onely so but I was forc'd to pay his reckoning, he having neither face nor cross about him. His discour∣ses made a deep impression in my me∣mory, and I resolved to make use of them as occasion should serve, for that I found my inclinations tending toward that Fraternity.

Before I went to sleep, I made him my privy Councellor, by acquainting him with my intentions, which so ra∣vish'd him, that he hugg'd me over and over again, and told me he could not but beleeve the recital he had made me, was perswasive enough to work upon a man of my ingenuity. He offered me

his assistance in order to my introduction into the Fraternity of the Industry, and not onely so but into their Colledg too. I took him at his word, and gave him many thanks, but did not discover what monies I had, onely an hundred Royals, which were enough to gain me his af∣fection. The next morning I bought him three codpiss-points, and set out early towards Madrid.