The sinner's tears, in meditations and prayers. By Tho. Fettiplace. Dom: Pet: Cantab.

CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulness of the heart in the performance of holy duties.

NOthing is more common amongst Christi∣ans than to be deluded by the shew of holy actions; the heart of man is deceitfull above all things, who can know it? holy perfor∣mances are usually accompanied with hellish temptations; when the Ship of our soules is under sail, and hath the freshest way for hea∣ven, we have then most need to look to our steerage, to have an eye to the compass and land-marks.

Which of our holy duties (which are the ships we sayl in to the port of happiness) have not their rocks to split upon, or Remoraes to hinder them, or cross winds to divert them, or leaks to sink them, or seas to overwhelm them? when we arrive at any small measure of good∣ness, we many times rest in it, and grow se∣cure upon it: if grace carry us on farther, we are too apt to beleeve that we are far better than our neighbours, that we are highly in Gods favour, and cannot but deserve his fatherly protection, his liberall remuneration; and so by this secret insinuation of pride in our hearts, wee have folly in our hands,

sinne in our mindes, and shame in our acti∣ons.

That prayer is very rare, that is not fick of some distemper; that charity very pure, that can admit of no mistakes, and that performance very perfect, that is not soyled with some filth of wickedness: How willing are our thoughts to wander in our prayers? how cold and careless are we in them? and how remils in the perfor∣mance of them? where is that constancy, that fervency, that holy importunity of spirit that is required of us in this holy exercise? which of us can truly say, that (throughout the whole course of his whole life hitherto) he ever put up one prayer unto Almighty God, that was not cumbred with distracted thoughts, that needed not a present pardon? I tremble at mine own, and grieve at others failings (O let my severest censures of my brothers sins, be assured signs of my best love) How far are we (even the very best of us) from that purity, and perfection of soul which becometh this holy duty? and yet how ready are we, even the very worst of us, to be∣leeve our selves sufficiently holy, assuredly happy?

We content our selves usually with the very shels, and husks, and outsides of Religion; with shews and shadows of devotion; with cu∣stomary, cold prayers; intermitted, undigested readings; careless, inconsiderate meditations; hypocritall, pharisaical fastings; popular Alms∣deeds, having onely the shew of godliness, but denying the power thereof: All these, and what∣soever else are like to these, are odious to God, abhominable to good men, and most destructive to their souls that are deluded by them.

When, by the sweet assistance of the heaven∣ly goodness, and gentle breathings of his blessed Spirit, we are drawing nearer to our haven; when the aguish distempers of the soul are abated, and her native and radicall heat is grown strong and vigorous; when the ferven∣cie of our zeal is a rich evidence of the live∣liness of our faith, of the certainty of our hope, of the perfection of our charity; when our affections are inflamed with Gods love, and our actions aim onely at his glory; when we are grown up to that happy state of grace, that our consciences are pure, our resolutions godly, our conversations unblamable; all∣though wee dare not then propose these base and by respects, these outward aims, unto out selves, yet how cunningly and closely will corruptions Real in upon us, even in these very blessed acts of grace? This is too truly proved, too sadly experienced, even by the very best of Christians: Lord (in thy rich mer∣cie) give us eyes to discern it, hearts to a∣voyd it.

How often may we find pride in our humi∣lity, lust in our desires of chastity, our own private ends in our proposals of Gods pub∣lique interest? when we bear a part amongst the mourners of Syon, when we are cast down for some humane frailty, wee presently conceive highly of our own holiness, and very meanly of others in their relations unto happiness; while we have sought to become better, by the proposall of some strict rules, to preserve cha∣stity, have we not many times become worse, by poysoning those very defires by unclean thoughts, and uncleaner actions? How many

while they have sincerely aimed at Gods glory, by the holy proposall, and happy performance of some reall good, for the benefit of his children, have been secretly surprised with the by-end of their own deserved praise? Lord, how readily have I now met with mine own sins, to thy great glory, and mine own deserved slame? I willingly confess, that I am guilty of all this, and in∣finitely more than this; even these very lines are witnesses against me, of my secret corrupti∣ons; O let this my sorrowfull confession pur∣chase for me thy free and full remission, that thou mayst have the glory, I the comfort, of these weak endeavours.

And now Lord, seeing I am thus impure, and sinfull in mine own eyes, even in the very best of my performances, how loathsome must I needs ap∣pear in thy sight, who art Purity it self, and canst not behold iniquity! Blessed Lord, as thou hast given me the light of thy Word to discover me unto my self, so give me allso the sword of thy Spirit, to deliver me from my self.

Deliver me, O Lord, from the evill man, from mine ownsecret corruptions, and unknown abomi∣nations.

Allthough I am unto mine own soul both ruine and destruction yet let my blessed Saviour be unto me safety and salvation.

Search my heart (O Lord) and try my reins; O let no base and by-respects inhabit there, to rob thee of thine honour; no false and vain respects, to cheat me of my present holiness, and future bap∣piness.

Pardon and pass by the secret and unknown errours of my sinfull life, suppress the great dis∣turbances

turbances of my corrupt affections, allthough they many times prevail against me, yet let thy saving grace (Lord) be sufficient for me.

Lord make me purely and entirely holy; let me love holiness, neither for fear of thy punishments, nor for hope of thy rewards, but for thy sake onely (O my God) who art holiness it self. Let me never think my self holy enough, but forget all those holy actions which are past, and press hard forward towards the mark, for the rich price of the high calling in Christ Jesus.

Lord crown my holy desires with happy per∣formances, and blessed perseverance, that at the end of my race I may receive the end of my hopes, the salvation of my pretious soul, and that for his sake, and perfect holiness, by whom I trust these weak and sinfull endeavours of mine, shall be gratiously accepted, and faithfully rewarded. Amen.