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THe nature of spirituall dejection, being seen in the generall, wee shall now take a view of the Workings thereof in particular.
Now the working of spirituall dejection, ap∣peares, in
First, the working of spirituall dejection, appeares in feares and doubts: The soule cast down is full of doubts. One while it doubts this
thing, another while that, Now this feare fills it, anon another.
For look as the soule lifted up, is full of hope, and assurances, (and carried forth in expectati∣ons) so the soule cast down is full of feares, and exceedingly perplexed with doubtings. Oh saith the poor soule, (dejected and disquieted) I fear this, and I doubt this: Can you resolve me in this doubt; or helpe mee in this feare, and the like.
I shall instance in severall feares and doubts, which usually trouble the soule, when, and while its cast down.
First, The soule when dejected, it feares the worke of grace: It saith, I feare whether ever God wrought upon mee: at least I doubt it. Sure I am (saith the dejected soule) God is a rocke, and his worke is perfect: But alas! there are so many imperfections in my soule, that I question his worke in me: I know God works both to will and to doe: But alas! though I wil•• sometimes, I doe never. I feare God hath not wrought in me; Paul was confident, that where God began a good worke, hee would perfect it. And this makes me diffident, that he hath not begun at all in mee; I see so many debilli∣ties, deceits, decayes, that surely I may say (as he) if the Lord be with me, why is all thu•• befallen mee, Judg. 6.13. The soule knowes the worke of God is glorious: And sure it is that if he will worke, none shall hinder: But Oh (saith it) I finde my soule so in-glorious, and I feele so many hindrances, that I doubt I shal••
dishonour God to thinke, sure I am a afftaid to say, he hath wrought upon me. This is one feare.
Secondly, The soule cast downe, sometime discovers its fears in other termes, its dejection workes up in other doubtings: As now, whe∣ther its grace be true, or counterfeit. Grace that is false, is frequent, but that which is true, is scarce. Common workings are ordinarie, but speciall ones are rare. Counterfeit coyne is in Beggars purses, but true coine is the portion of the rich. I am sure saith the soul (when it is de¦jected) there is a fained saith, and a false love. Christ eies unfained faith, (and such Tymothies was) but I feare mine is not. The Scripture calls for unfained love (let love be without dissimu∣lation, Rom. 12.9.) and the Apostles love was such: Yea but I doubt mine. For my part (saith the poor cast down soule) I question not whether the faith of others in the head [Christ] be sound: or whether the love of others to the members (beleevers) be sincere: But I doub: my owne. True (saith the soule) I though once I bad faith in Christ, and love to the bre∣thren; and that my gold was not counterfeit, &c. But now I feare and doubt all. Then
Thirdly, Other soules cast down, have other feares: sure saith one, whatsoever worke is only in the letter, tis death, and not life: and for my part, I feare whether mine have been by the spirit. I doubt (saith the soule under dejections) whether my calling were orely by the voice of man in the bare letter, or of Christ in the spirit. Tis
true, the word came to some, not in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy ghost, 1 Thess. 1.5. But alas! I doubt whether it came so to mee. There are convictions, and comforts, which are but naturall, legall, and false, And I doubt whether mine have not been such. There are indeed convincings and comfortings, which are Evangelicall and spirituall: Christ saith, the Holie Ghost shall convince of sin, and of righte∣ousnesse: but I feare he never did convince me of either: thus workes the disquieted soules of some. Againe
Fourthly, The feares of some in spirituall de∣jection appeare, about their holy actions (as hear∣ing, praying, repenting, &c.) And about these, the feares of the Soule cast down, workes thus: I doe sometimes pray, (or rather indeavour to pray) I do sometimes mourn for sin, or rather I do some thing like repentance, But alas! whence doth this proceed? I doubt the principles whence these acts do arise, are but poore, and low, and carnall. It may be education, profession, inge∣nuity, morality, or (at best) some common il∣lumination,* 1.1 are the onely things that act me in all. Peradventure I doe not approve of God according to my knowledge of him: And if so. I am no better then the Heathens, Rom. 1.28. It may be (and I feare it) that my observanced the Commandements is no better then the young mans, Mark. 10.19, 20. I doubt my holy (a rather seeming holy) actions, proceed mort from light (that I dare not doe otherwise,) th•••• from love, that I delight to doe it. To do 〈◊〉〈◊〉
is one thing, and to doe well is another.* 1.2 I fear what ever my actings bee, that my principles, and aimes are not as they should bee. Some have bad ends, in good workes; others do spiritu∣all actions, from carnall principles: and I fear whether this bee not my case. Thus likewise some soules (when they are cast down) vent themselves.
Fiftly, There are some who when cast down, breath forth other feares; as now touching their sincerity. I doubt (saith the dejected soul) whether my heart be sound. There are many painted Sepulchres, and am not I one of them? there bee many who at best are but seeming Saints, and I feare I am such. The Prophet saith, The heart is deceitfull above all things, and desperately wicked, and he asketh also, who can know it? Jer. 17.9. For my part I do not know it: Surely, I feare, nay, I finde my heart des∣perately wicked and deceitfull. I feare I looke one way, (Water-man-like) even while I row another. I fear least I be a child of darknesse trans∣formed into an Angell of light. Sometimes I doubt, if Christ should now come to sever the lambes from the Goates, that I should have no more of a sheep then the skinne, and that it being pluckt off, I shall appear as I am, Job said indeed, his heart should not reproach him so long as he lived, Job 27.6. But I am sure, mine flyes in my face every houre. Without doubt I am but as a guilded grave; brave without, bad within. I must speake my heart, I feare I am but an hypocrite.
Sixtly, Others there are dejected and cast downe, whose dejection discovers it selfe in fear, least corruptions get the conquest over them. Oh saith the poore soule! I find the flesh fighting against the spirit, and I feare the flesh will get the day; at lest I doubt the spirit will not. Cor∣ruption is strong, and grace is very weake. I feare I shall one day fall by the hand of sin. If I lye downe, corruption is with me, if I arise, its awake as soon as I: If I be about my calling, or imployments in the world, I perceive cor∣ruption dogges me, and if I goe to duty, it will not let me alone; nay often it is then most busie: I feare, I feare, that I shall fall. Certainly I doubt I shall not stand long. Ah Lord! (cryes the soule dejected) any spake is enough to set mee a fire. Passion is quickly stirred, and I speak vainly, yea, and vilely too. A little thing makes mee waspish, I am borne downe with rash anger presently, Pride too, that appeares upon the least occasion. I can hardly pray with any inlargements, or doe duty with any affecti∣ons, but presently pride pirkes it selfe up. Lust too, that is ready to discover its life upon the least occasion: I can hardly looke, but I lust. Thus cryes one, thus cryes another, and all a∣gree in this, they fear sin will get the day: At least they doubt, whether ever their Pigmy-graces (so some speake) shall bee able to get the victory over their Gyant-like-corrupti∣ons.
Seventhly, Some when they are cast down have greater fears then these: there are deject∣ed
soules who cry out: Oh! they feare they ne∣ver did savingly close with Christ. To close with Christ in the way of the Gospell say they, (and they speak truth,) is a mystery: and alas! they doubt, whether they have attained it. There is a meer legall closing with Christ: which is built only upon some qualifications in ones selfe; and which carryes not the soule beyond the Covenant of workes: and some soules under dejection feare theirs is such. Woe is mee (saith the soule) if my closing with Christ bee not aright (and I doubt it is not.* 1.3) Some soules at the last shall come, and speake to him, as if they had closed aright with him, and as if they had in truth an interest in him: and yet he will say hee knowes them not. Now I feare, I feare least I am such a soule, and least he will speake to me so. Its damnable to be deceived in this (saith the soule) and I doubt it. Thus the wave of feare in the storm of dejection, mounts thus high in some soules.
Eightly, There are some who it may be will say, they doe not doubt much their closing with Christ, but they doubt their keeping close. I feare (saith some soule cast downe) that I shall deny Christ, There have been many Apostates, and I doubt I shal make the number one more. Peter denyed Christ in part, and for a time, and I feare I shall doe it altogether. I thinke I should sinne in deniall of, before I should suf∣fer unto death for Christ. I feare I am nearer allyed, and shall be more like to Demas then to Paul. Its true, there are some, who if they
had a thousand lives, could give them all for Christ; But I feare I should not willingly give one. Christ saith, if wee deny him, he will deny us: And sure he knowes what I would doe if called to it, (I feare I should deny him) and therefore that he'le do so by me.
In these and the like feares doe the workings of spirituall dejection appeare. The soul when elevated, is not freer from, then when dejected, it full of, feares and doubts.
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Bonum & bene valde differunt.
Mat. 7.22.