true, the word came to some, not in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy ghost, 1 Thess. 1.5. But alas! I doubt whether it came so to mee. There are convictions, and comforts, which are but naturall, legall, and false, And I doubt whether mine have not been such. There are indeed convincings and comfortings, which are Evangelicall and spirituall: Christ saith, the Holie Ghost shall convince of sin, and of righte∣ousnesse: but I feare he never did convince me of either: thus workes the disquieted soules of some. Againe
Fourthly, The feares of some in spirituall de∣jection appeare, about their holy actions (as hear∣ing, praying, repenting, &c.) And about these, the feares of the Soule cast down, workes thus: I doe sometimes pray, (or rather indeavour to pray) I do sometimes mourn for sin, or rather I do some thing like repentance, But alas! whence doth this proceed? I doubt the principles whence these acts do arise, are but poore, and low, and carnall. It may be education, profession, inge∣nuity, morality, or (at best) some common il∣lumination, are the onely things that act me in all. Peradventure I doe not approve of God according to my knowledge of him: And if so. I am no better then the Heathens, Rom. 1.28. It may be (and I feare it) that my observanced the Commandements is no better then the young mans, Mark. 10.19, 20. I doubt my holy (a rather seeming holy) actions, proceed mort from light (that I dare not doe otherwise,) th•••• from love, that I delight to doe it. To do 〈◊〉〈◊〉