Media: the middle things, in reference to the first and last things: or, The means, duties, ordinances, both secret, private and publike, for continuance and increase of a godly life, once begun, till we come to Heaven. Wherein are discovered many blessed medium's or duties, in their right method, manner and proceedings; that so a Christian (the spirit of Christ assisting) may walk on in the holy path, which leads from his new birth to everlasting life. / Drawn, for the most part, out of the most eminently pious, and learned writings of our native practical divines: with additionals of his own, by Isaac Ambrose, minister of the Gospel at Preston in Amoundernes.

CHAP. IX.

SECT. 1. Of the nature of Family-duties.

HItherto of the Duties which concern every man in his own particular; next to them succeed Family-du∣ties: And they are such Duties as ought to be joyntly or respectively observed by the families and houses of the people of God. This is implyed by that threat, Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not,* 1.1 and upon the families that call not on thy Name; and by that example of Joshua, But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord;* 1.2 and by that promise of God, At the same time, saith the Lord, will I be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.

SECT. 2. Of the preparatives to Family-duties.

NOw that we may comfortably carry on these Family-duties, observe we

• 1. Our entrance into them.
• 2. Our proceedings in them.

1. For entrance, we must lay a good foundation for tractable∣ness unto Religion in those that belong to this Family, as

• 1. In the governor.
• 2. In the governed.

1. In the governor; whose duty it is

1. To endeavor in a special maner for knowledge in Gods word, and for holiness of conversation in a Christian walking; this would tend much to the preservation of his authority, who otherwise will be slighted and disregarded, through an aptness in inferiors to take occasion therefrom.

2. To marry in the Lord, and then to live chastly in wedlock,* 1.3

that there may be an holy seed:* 1.4 Now that he may marry in the Lord, 1. Let piety be the mover of his affection, and personage, parentage and portion, be onely as a comfortable accessary, con∣siderable in a second place: Christianity and grace is the chief golden link and noble tye, which hath the power and priviledge to make marriage a lovely and everlasting bond. 2. Let him ply the throne of Grace with fervency of prayer; a good wife is a more immediate gift of God: whence Solomon could say, Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers,* 1.5 but a prudent wife is from the Lord: such a rare and precious jewel is to be sued and sought for at Gods Mercy-seat with extraordinary impor∣tunity and zeal; and if she be procured at Gods hand by prayer, he shall finde a thousand times more sweetness and comfort, then if she be cast on him by an ordinary providence. 3. Let him ob∣serve and mark these six points in his choyce; as, 1. The Report: 2. The looks: 3. The speech: 4. The apparel: 5. The compa∣nions: 6. The education: These are like the pulses, that shew the fitness and godliness of any party with whom he ought to marry.

3. To beware whom he admits to dwell with him, that they be tractable unto religious courses: See Davids resolution here∣in, Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land,* 1.6 that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect way shall serve me; he that worketh deceit, shall not dwell within my house; he that telleth lyes, shall not tarry in my sight.

2. In the governed; whose duty it is both to joyn together in the performance of Family-duties with their governor, to submit to his government:* 1.7 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

These preparatives I pin upon the front or porch of this Fa∣mily: Now to the Family-duties themselves, and how they must be exercised.

SECT. 3. Of the Duties of Governors in general.

IN the proceedings of these Family-duties, we are to consider the Duties

• 1. Of the governors.
• 2. Of the governed.

1. The governors, if (as it is in marriage) there be more then one; as first, the chief governor, to wit, the Husband; second∣ly, the helper, to wit, the Wife: both these owe Duties to their Families, and Duties to one another.

1. The Duties they owe to their Families, are either

• In general to the whole.
• In particular, according to their several relations.

1. That which in general they owe to the whole Family, is either to their

• Bodies.
• Souls.

1. To their Bodies; concerning which, saith the Apostle, He that provideth not for his own,* 1.8 and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse then an infidel. Now as the Spirit of God chargeth us with this duty, so he setteth us about such things whereby this may be compassed; as, 1. That eve∣ry one should have some honest and good calling, and walk dili∣gently in it; Let him that stole,* 1.9 steal no more (saith the Apostle) but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good. 2. That he bear a low sail, and keep within compass; re∣membring that of Solomon, He that is despised, and hath a ser∣vant, is better then he that honoreth himself, and lacketh bread.* 1.10

2. To their Souls; concerning which, some duties they are to

• Perform to the Family.
• Require of the Family.

1. The Duties they must perform to them, are—

1. To provide that they may live under the publike Ministery, for otherwise how should they be brought into the sheepfold of Christ, if they hear not the voyce of the chief Shepherd speak∣ing unto them by those whom he hath sent?

2. To oversee the ways of their Families, that they serve

God; and as in all other duties, so especially in sanctifying the Sabbaths: To this the very words in the fourth Commandment, do binde all Masters of families: Remember, thou and thy son, and thy daughter, thy man-servant, and thy maid;—Where the Lord speaks by name to the Governors, as if he would make them overseers of this work of sanctifying his Sab∣baths.

3. To set their house in order for the service of God, to offer prayers and praises to the Lord morning and evening, before and after meals:* 1.11 This was Davids practice, Evening and morning, and at noon will I pray and cry aloud, and he shall hear my voyce; and this was Jobs practice,* 1.12 who sent for, and sanctified his sons and daughters, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt-offerings, according to the number of them all:—Thus did Job continually: And this was Abrahams practice wheresoever he came,* 1.13 to build an Altar to God, where God should be wor∣shipped joyntly of him and his family: And this was Christs practice for himself and his family, Matthew 14.19. and 26.30. John 17.1.

4. To instruct their families privately in matters of Religion, that they may not onely profess, but feel the power of Religion in their lives and conversations: This duty hath these specials be∣longing to it,

1. A familiar catechizing of them in the principles of Religi∣on:* 1.14 Thus were Parents commanded of old, Thou shalt teach these words diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,* 1.15 and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

2. A daily reading of Scriptures in their hearing, directing them to mark and to make use of them: So Timothy was train∣ed up by his parents,* 1.16 and that from his childehood.

3. A careful endeavoring that they may profit by the pub∣like Ministery: To this end 1. They must prepare them to hear the Word, by considering Gods Ordinances, Promises, and their own necessities. 2. They must remember them to look in the Word for a Christ, and for communion with Christ. 3. They must examine them after the Ordinances, what they have learn∣ed, and what use they can make of it; thus Christ, after he had preached a parable to his disciples, he said unto them, Know

you not this parable, and how then will you know all parables?* 1.17 and then he expounds the parable to them.

2. The duties they are to require of the family, are both carefully to frequent the publike Ministery, and diligently to be conversant in the private worship of God, and constantly to practice all holy and Christian duties comprised briefly in the Commandments of God; and they are to require these things, not onely by telling them, calling on them, catechizing them, admonishing them, but if they be negligent, by correcting them.

Now this correction must be ministred in

• ...Wisdom.
• ...Patience.

1. In wisdom, whose property it is to finde out the right party that committed the fault, to consider of what sort and nature the fault is, to weigh circumstances of age, discretion and occasions; and to look to the minde of the doer, whether neg∣ligence or meer simplicity brought him to it.

2. In patience, whose property it is to make the fault mani∣fest to the offendor, that his conscience may be touched there∣with; to hear what the offendor can say in his own defence, and accordingly to allow or dissallow; to avoid bitterness, which sooner will harden the heart, then reform the maners of the offendor: These Rules being observed, and the heart lifted up in prayer to God for direction and blessing, this Correction is necessary, as is evident in Gen. 30.2. Prov. 13.24. and 19.18.

These are the duties that Governors owe to their families, in respect of their souls; to correct them, catechize them, admonish them, call on them, read to them, pray for them, &c. onely with these limitations:

1. That they presume not above their callings: This was Pauls Exhortation, That no man take this honor to himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron: The honor here,* 1.18 is the honor of the publike Ministery, except that, and I know not but that every Governor of a family, who hath special abilities, utterance, memory, may read Scriptures, repeat Sermons, pray, teach and instruct them out of Scriptures, 1 Pet. 4.10.* 1.19 Thus Jacob said to his houshold, Put away the strange gods that are among you:* 1.20 And without all contradiction (saith the Apostle) the less is blessed of the better: And if the women would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home; thus Oriegn would have the

Word expounded in Christian families; and Augustine saith, That which the Preacher is in the pulpit, the same is the housholder in the house.

2. That they presume not above their gifts: This was Pauls Exhortation to every man,* 1.21 Not to think of himself more highly then he ought to think, but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith; yet I deny not but in some cases they may lawfully depute or substitute some one in the family, whom they judge fittest unto the service and imployment, which they themselves should ordinarily perform, as in case of old age and weakness of body;* 1.22 Thus Samuel being old, made his sons Judges: Or in want of good utterance or expression of what is to be said;* 1.23 thus Aaron was Moses his spoaksman, and in stead of a mouth: Or in want of boldness and audacity, arising from a consciousness of weakness; thus the good Centurion sent the Elders of the Jews to Christ to intercede for him:* 1.24 Or in case that a Minister of the Gospel do sojourn in ones family, as Archippus did in Philemon his house:* 1.25 Or in case of necessary absence;* 1.26 thus the Apostle Paul made Timothy his deputy to the Christian Thessalonians: Or in case the Lord hath bestowed more of his gifts and graces to one then another: I know not in this case,* 1.27 but that we may Covet earnestly the best gifts in others, as well as in our own selves.

SECT. 4. Of the Duties of Parents to their Children.

THe Duties in particular which Governors owe to the Fa∣mily, according to their relations, are either

• As Parents to their Children.
• As Masters to their Servants.

The duties of Parents to their children, are either

• To their bodies.
• To their souls.

1. The Duties of Parents to the bodies of their children, are in many particulars, but may be all comprised under this one head, A provident care for their Temporal good; and this ex∣tendeth it self to all times, as,

• 1. To their infancy.
• 2. To their youth.
• 3. To the time of Parents departure out of this world.

1. The first age of a childe is his infancy, and the first part of its infancy, is while it remaineth in the Mothers womb: Here the Duty lies principally upon the mother, to have a special care of it, that it may be safely brought forth. Why was the charge of abstaining from wine, strong drink, and unclean things, given to Manaohs wife, but because of the childe which she had conceived?* 1.28

The next degree of a childes infancy, is while it is in the swad∣ling-band, and remains a sucking childe; in this also the care more especially lies on the mother, whose duty it is to take all pains she possibly may, for the education of her childe; and especially to give her childe suck, if she be able thereto: This not onely Nature, but Scripture sets forth;

• 1. By Consequence, Gen. 49.25. Hosea 9.14. 1 Tim. 5.10.
• 2. By Example, Gen. 21.7. 1 Sam. 1.23. Psal. 22.9.
• 3. By Grant, the Word giving it as a ruled case not to be denied, Gen. 21.7. Cant. 8.1. Luke 11.27.

2. The second age of a childe is its youth, from the time it begins to be of any discretion, till it be fit to be placed forth: Now the duty of Parents at this time is,

• 1. To nourish.
• 2. To nurture their children.

Under nourishment, are comprised Food, Apparel, Recrea∣tion, means for recovery of health when they are sick; in which if Parents provide not for their Children, they are worse then In∣fidels: And under nurture, are comprised good maners, a good calling, frequent admonition, reprehension, correction, the last remedy, which may do good when nothing else can, Prov. 19.18.—23.13, 14.—29.17.

3. The last time to which parents provident care extendeth it self, is the time of their departure out of the world, & then they are to set their house in order, & to leave their estates to their children.

2. The duties of Parents to the souls of their children, extends it self also to all times, as,

• 1. To their Infancy.
• 2. To their Youth.
• 3. To the time of Parents departure out of this world.

1. The first age of a childe, is his infancy: and the first part of its infancy, is while it remaineth in the mothers womb. Now the duty of parents at that time are these: 1. That they pray for their children:* 1.29 Thus did Rebekah, while the children were quick in her womb. Those parents that neglect this duty to their children, consider not rightly that they are conceived in sin: and 2. That they make sure (so much as in them lies) that their children be born under the Promise, or under the Covenant, in respect of the Spiritual part of it: How? by making sure that they be under the Promise or Covenant themselves: If God in Christ be their God, they may have a comfortable hope, That God will be the God of their seed, according to the Promise, I will be thy God,* 1.30 and the God of thy seed.

The next degree of a childes infancy, is when it is born: and the duty of parents then is, To give up their children unto God, casting them into the hands of his Providence, into the arms of his Mercy, begging for them a gracious acceptation with God; and to tender them to the Ordinance, The Sacrament of Ba∣ptism, to get the seal of the Covenant set upon them, to get them mark'd out for salvation.

2. The second age of a childe, is its youth: Now the Duty of Parents to their children at this time, is to train them up in true piety, To bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.* 1.31 To this end—

1. When children begin to read, let them read the holy Scri∣ptures:* 1.32 so was Timothy trained up from a childe; and thus will children suck in Religion with learning.

2. Let children be Catechized constantly from day to day; onely with this caveat, That parents deal with their children, as skilful Nurses and Mothers do in feeding their children, (i.) not to give them too much at once: overmuch dulls a childes under∣standing, and breeds wearisomness to it; it is most suitable to give them Precept upon precept, Precept upon precept, Line upon line,* 1.33 Line upon line, here a little, and there a little: Thus shall t••ey learn with ease and delight, and in time a great measure of knowledge will be gained thereby.

3. Let parents declare to their children, the admirable works that God in former times hath done for his Church, especially such works as he hath done in their time: outward sensible things

do best work upon children, and therefore this direction was given under the Law, Josh. 4.6, 21.* 1.34

4. Let Parents be to their children a good patern in piety, leading them to Christ by their examples: This will take place with children, more then all precepts or paternal instructions: But as for me (said Joshua) and my house, we will serve the Lord;* 1.35 he sets himself first, as a guide to the rest.

5. Let Parents reprove and correct their children for sin; and that the Lord may sanctifie this correction unto them, Consider this, O ye parents, Do you observe such and such sins in your chil∣dren? enter into your own hearts, examine your selves, whether they come not from you: Consider how justly the hand of God may be upon you: and when you are angry with your children, have an holy anger with your own selves, and use this or the like Meditation with your own souls, Lord, shall I thus punish my own sin in mine own childe? shall I thus persecute the corruptions of mine own ancestors? how then mayest thou be displeased with me for the too carnal conception of my own childe? It may be, I then lay in some sin, or I asked it not of thee by prayer: Be merciful to me, O Lord, and in thy good time, shew thou pity on me and my childe!

6. As children grow in years, and in the knowledge of Christ, and of justification by Christ, let Parents train them up in the ex∣ercise of all Duties, as Prayer, Meditation, Self-Examination, Watchfulness, and all means publike and private: if this be done, the world to come may reap the benefit of their education; such children as you bring up, such parents will they be (when you are gone) to their children; and such children shall they have, who are parents in the next generation, &c. You then are the very making or marring of the world: but on the contrary, if this be neglected, the rich man shall rise up against you in the day of Judgement, and condemn you; for he being in hell, had a care of his fathers house, that they might be forewarn'd, he desired Abra∣ham to send Lazarus to his brethren, to testifie unto them that they came not to that place of torment; but you will not admonish your children, you will not teach them Moses and the Prophets; you will not shew them the danger of Gods heavy displeasure hanging o••er their heads; you will not, whilest you live, lead a good example before them: O you may fear that your children

shall be Furies of hell to torment you. Now the Lord open your eyes to foresee, and to fly these judgements to come.

3. The last time to which the Duty of Parents extends it self, is the time of their departure out of the world, and then they owe to their children

• Good direction.
• Faithful prayer.

1. For direction: when Parents observe their time to draw near, it is their duty then especially, to commend some wise and wholesom precepts unto their children, the better to direct them in their Christian course;* 1.36 so did Isaac, and Jacob, and David: The words of a dying Parent are especially regarded, and make a deeper impression.

2. For prayer: then is the most proper time for parents to pray and to blesse all their children. As they commend their own souls into Gods hands, so let them commend their children unto Gods grace: Gods providence and promises are the best in∣heritance in the world, and if parents (in their prayers) leave these to their children, they can never want any thing that is good. O the faithful prayers of Parents for their Children (especially when they are leaving their Children, and going to God) must needs, in, for and through Christ, prevail mightily with God.

SECT. 5. Of the Duties of Masters to Servants.

THe Duty of Masters to their Servants, is either

• To their Bodies.
• To their Souls.

1. The Duty of Masters to the Bodies of their Servants, consists in these particulars; viz. In a due provision of food for them, Prov. 31.15. & 27.27. In a wise care for their clothing, Prov. 31.21. In a well-ordering of their labor, so as they may be able to undergo it: In their ease, rest, and intermission from la∣bor at seasonable times: In paying them sufficient wages, Deut. 24.14, 15. In a careful preserving of their health, and using means for their recovery in case of sickness, Mat. 8.6. and that not of the Servants wages, but of the Masters own charge, otherwise

they undo not the heavy burthen,* 1.37 but rather lay burthen upon burthen.

2. The Duties of Masters to the Souls of their Servants, consists in these particulars; viz. In teaching them the Principles of Religion, and all duties of Piety: In causing them to go to the publike Ministery of the Word and Worship of God: In taking account of their profiting by the publike and private means of Edification: In praying for them; and as they observe any grace wrought in them, in praising God for it, and praying for the encrease of it: Nothing so much wins a Servants heart, or the affections of any gracious heart, as the edifying of it in grace.

SECT. 6. Of the Duties of the Husband and Wife.

THe Duties which the chief governor and his helper owe to one another, are either

• Common and mutual.
• Proper and peculiar to each severally.

1. The common mutual Duties betwixt Man and Wife, are either

• Of necessity to the being of marriage; as
  • ...Matrimonial Ʋnity.* 1.38
  • ...Matrimonial Chastity.
• Of honesty to the welbeing of marriage; as a
  • Loving affection of one another.
  • Provident care of one for another.

The former Duties presupposed: there ought to be—

1. A sweet, loving, and tender-hearted pouring out of their hearts, with much affectionate dearness into each others bosoms. This mutual-melting-heartedness, being preserved fresh and fruitful, will infinitely sweeten and beautifie the marriage state. Now for the preservation of this love, let them consider

1. The compassionate and melting compellations which Christ and his Spouse exchange in the Canticles, My fair one, my love, my dove, my undefiled, my welbeloved, the chief of ten thousand: such a fervent and chaste love as this, all married couples should resemble and imitate.

2. The Command of God to this purpose, Husbands love

your wives,* 1.39 Ephes. 5.25. and Wives (or yong women) love your husbands, Tit. 2.4. Me thinks this charge oft remembred, should ever beat back all heart-rising and bitterness, all wicked wishes that they had never met together, that they had never seen one anothers faces: when the knot is tyed, every man should think his wife the fittest for him, and every wife should think her hus∣band the fittest for her of any other in the world.

2. A provident care of one for another; which extends to the body:* 1.40 No man hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and che∣risheth it: and to the good name; Joseph was not willing to make Mary a publike example:* 1.41 and to the goods of this world; in which if there fall out any cross providence, they are both to joyn with Jobs spirit,* 1.42 The Lord hath given, and the Lord hath taken, &c. But especially to the soul; in praying together, for and with one another; in taking notice of the beginning and least measure of grace, and approving the same; in conferring about such things as concern the same, mutually propounding questions, and giving answers one to another; in maintaining holy and religious exercises in the Family, and betwixt their own selves, in stirring up one another to hear the Word, to receive the Sacraments, and conscionably to perform all the parts of Gods publike Worship: In case the one prove unconverted, let the other wait, and pray, and expect Gods good time: or in case the one be a babe in Christ, or weak in Christianity, let the other deal fairly, lovingly, meekly, and let our Lord Jesus his ten∣der-heartedness to Spiritual yonglings, teach us mercy this way, who is said to gather the lambs with his arms, and to carry them in his bosom,* 1.43 and gently to lead those that are with yong.

2. The proper and peculiar duties to each severally, are—

1. Of the husband, whose Duty it is

• 1. That he dearly love his Wife.
• 2. That he wisely main∣tain and manage his authority over her.

For the former, consider,

• 1. The matter.
• 2. The maner of his love.

1. The matter of it is a dear love, a special love, and a more special then that common mutual love to one another: No que∣stion the Wife is to love her Husband, and a Brother to love his

Brother, and a Friend is to love his Friend, but more especially, or with a more special love, is the Husband to love his Wife. To this purpose she is called, The wife of his bosom, to shew that she ought to be as his heart in his bosom. He must love her at all times, he must love her in all things: love must season and sweeten his speech, carriage, actions towards her: love must shew it self in his commands, reproofs, admonitions, instructions, authority, familiarity with her; the rise of which love must not be from her beauty, nobility, or because she contents & pleaseth her husband; but especially because she is his sister in the profession of Chri∣stian Religion, and an inheriter with him of the Kingdom of hea∣ven; because of her graces, and vertues, as modesty, chastity, diligence, patience, temperance, faithfulness, secrecy, obedience, &c. because she bears and brings him forth children, the heirs of his Name and Substance, and the upholder of his family; and because of the union and conjunction of marriage. Love grow∣ing of beauty, riches, lust, or any other slight grounds, is but a blaze, and soon vanisheth, but if grounded on the considera∣tions, and especially on this union of marriage, it is lasting and true: The want hereof is the fountain of strife, quarrelling, debate, which converts the paradice of marriage into an hell.

2. For the maner of this love, the Apostle gives it thus, Hus∣bands, love your own wives, even as Christ also loved the Church.* 1.44 Now the love of Christ to his Church, is commended to us in these particulars:—

1. In the cause of his love, which is his love:* 1.45 He set his love on you, because he loved you; his love arose wholly and solely from himself, and was every way free: so should husbands love their wives, though there be nothing in wives to move them, but meerly because they are wives.

2. In the order of his love: Christ began it to the Church, be∣fore the Church could love him: and as a wall is first smitten on by the Sun beams, before it give a reflection of her heat back again; so the Church is first heated and warmed at heart by the sense of Christs love, before she love him again: We love him,* 1.46 be∣cause he loved us first:—Because of the savour of thy oyntments, therefore do the virgins love thee; so should husbands begin to love their own wives: I know some wives prevent their hus∣bands herein, and there may be reason for it; but the greater is

their glory. This patern of Christ should rather stir up the hus∣bands to go before them.

3. In the truth of Christs love: This was manifested by the fruits thereof to his Church;* 1.47 He gave himself for it, that he might sanctifie it, and cleanse it, and present it to himself a glo∣rious Church, not having spot or wrinckle: So must husbands love their wives in truth and in deed, by guiding them in the way of life, and path that is called Holy: for this is the truest character of a sincere love.

4. In the quality of his love: Christs love is an holy, pure, and chaste love: as he himself is, so is his love, such must be the love of husbands, an holy, pure and chaste love. Away with all intemperate, excessive, or any ways exorbitant pollutions of the marriage-bed! from which, if the fear of God, imitation of Christ, love of purity, awfulness of Gods all-seeing eye cannot draw, yet that slavish horror, lest God should punish such a cou∣ple with no children, or with mis-shapen children, or with idiots, or with prodigiously wicked children, or with some other heavy cross, one would think should be able to affright them.

* 1.485. In the continuance of Christs love: Having loved his own, he loved them unto the end. His love is a constant love, an ever∣lasting love: no provocation or transgressions could ever make him forget his love;* 1.49 Thou hast played the harlot with many lovers, yet return unto me. Such must be the love of husbands, a firm love, an inviolable love: the ground of it must be Gods Ordi∣nances, and the support of it must be an inviolable resolution, that no provocation shall ever change it, or alter it. Husbands must pass by all infirmities, endeavoring in love to redress them, if possibly they can, or if not, to bear with them.

2. Duty of an husband, is, Wisely to maintain and manage his authority: Now the managing of it consists in two things:

• 1. That he tenderly respect her.
• 2. That he carefully provide for her.

1. He must tenderly respect her, as his wife, companion, yoke-fellow,* 1.50 as his very delight, and the desire of his eyes, and never be bitter against her.* 1.51 This bitterness ordinarily turneth the edge of his authority: if therefore any matter of unkindeness arise (as sometimes certainly will) then must he carefully, with all lenity, gentleness and patience quiet all, and never suffer himself nor his

wife to sleep in displeasure:* 1.52 Let not the sun go down upon your wrath; or if he shall have occasion to reprove her, he must keep his words until a convenient time, & not do it in presence of others, and then utter them in the spirit of meekness and love. Surely if she be not corrected by a word of wisdom and discretion, she will never amend by threats, or any hasty, rigorous carriage: and if she once begin to lose her shamefac'dness in the presence of her husband, it is likely there will be often brawlings and quarrels betwixt them, and the house will be full of disquietness: it is best therefore to deal wisely with her, to admonish her often, to reprehend her seldom, never to lay violent hands on her; and if she be dutiful, to cherish her, that she may so continue; if wayward, mildely to suffer her, that she wax not worse.

2. He must carefully provide for her: To this purpose he is called her Head, and Savior, as Christ is the head of his Church,* 1.53 and the Savior of the body: The Head (you know) is the foun∣tain of motion, quickning, life, sense and lightsomness to the body; so should the husband be as the well-spring of liveliness, light-somness, light-heartedness to his wife: she hath forsook all for him, and therefore she should receive from him a continual influ∣ence of chearful walking, and comfortable enjoying of her self. And a Savior (you know) both provides for, and protects the saved: Christ thus saved his Church, he is every way a sufficient Savior, able perfectly to save, even to the very uttermost;* 1.54 he saves soul and body, he saves from all maner of misery, from the wrath of God, the curse of the Law, the venom of all out∣ward crosses, the tyranny of Satan, the sting of death, the power of the grave, the torments of hell, or if sin be the greatest evil, (as indeed it is) he will save his people from their sins:* 1.55 I cannot say thus of the husband; yet an husband carrieth a resemblance of Christ, and is after a maner a Savior to his wife, to protect her, and provide for her. David compares her to a vine,* 1.56 inti∣mating, that as a vine is underpropped and raised by some tree or frame near to which it is planted, so is the wife raised to the height of honor by vertue of her relation to her husband; by his wealth is she inriched; by his honor is she dignified: he is under God and Christ, all in all to her. In the Family he is a King, to govern and ayd her; a Priest, to pray with her and for her; a Prophet, to teach and instruct her; a Savior, to provide

for, and protect her to his utmost, if not to the utmost, which in∣deed is proper and peculiar to the Lord Christ.

2. The Duties proper to the wife, are these,

• 1. That she be in submissi∣on to her husband.
• 2. That she be an helper to him all her days.

* 1.571. Wives must be in subjection to their own husbands: Sarah obeyed Abraham, and called him Lord: But here's a case of con∣science:—

1. What if her husband be a son of Belial, an enemy to Christ? must she then yield subjection?— Yes: because in his office her husband is as in Christs stead: The Church is compared to a lilly among thorns,* 1.58 she remains lilly like, white, soft, plea∣sant, and amiable, though she be joyned with thorns, which are prickly and sharp: So a wife must be meek, milde, gentle, obe∣dient, though she be matched with a crooked, perverse, prophane and wicked husband: She must in this case remove her eyes from the disposition of her husbands person, to the condition of his place, and by vertue thereof (seeing he beareth Christs image) be subject unto him as unto Christ.

2. What if her husband command things contrary to Christ? must she therein be subject?* 1.59 — No: Submit, &c. How? as unto the Lord: if she submits to things contrary to Christ, she sub∣mits not as to the Lord. Conscientious wives must remember they have an husband in heaven, as well as on earth, betwixt whom there is a greater difference, then betwixt heaven and earth: and therefore in case they bid contrary things, they must prefer God before man, Christ before all men.

* 1.602. Wives must be helpers to their husbands. Now this help∣fulness consists in these things:

1. That she be careful to preserve his person, in sickness or health, in adversity or prosperity, in youth or old age.

A most memorable and famous patern for this purpose, is re∣corded by* 1.61 Vives: A yong, tender and beautiful Maid was matched (as he reports) to a man stricken in years, whom after marriage she found to have a very fulsom and diseased body, full of many loathsom and contagious diseases: yet notwithstand∣ing, out of sence and conscience that by Gods providence she was become his wife, she most worthily digested all with incre∣dible

patience: friends and Physicians advised her by no means to come near him, and for their parts they utterly forsook him; but she (passing by with a loving disdain those unkinde disswa∣sions) becomes to him in their stead, Friend, Physician, Nurse, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Servant, every thing, any thing to do him good any maner of way. At last by extraordinary expence, and excessive charges about him, she came to some want of some necessaries, whereupon she sold her Ring, Chains, richest Attire, Plate, and choycest Jewels: and when he was dead, and friends came about her, rather to congratulate her happy riddance, then to bewail her widowhood, she not onely abhorred all speeches tending that way, but protested, if it were possible, she would willingly redeem her husbands life with the loss of her five dear∣est children. Whence it appears, that this worthy woman was wedded to her husbands soul, not to his body, seeing no infirmi∣ty or deformity thereof, could cool or weaken the fervency of her love.

2. That she learn and labor to forecast, contrive and manage houshold-affairs, and business within doors, as they say: for which see a right noble glorious patern in Prov. 31.

3. That she help her husband, in setting forward the rich and royal trade of Grace, in erecting and establishing Christs glori∣ous Kingdom in their house, and especially in their own hearts. This is that one necessary thing, without which their Family is but Satans Seminary, and a Nursery for hell: This will marvel∣lously sweeten all reproaches, cast upon them by envenomed tongues: This will sweetly seal unto them, their assurance of meeting together hereafter in heaven;—where the husband and wife perform these and the like Duties, there's an happy Family, there's a Colledge of quietness; where these are neglected, we may term it an Hell.

Thus much of the Duties of Governors: we now come to the governed.

SECT. 7. Of the Duties of Children to Parents.

DƲties of Children to Parents, are either

• inward, as Love and Fear.
• or outward, as
  • ...Reverence.
  • ...Obedience.
  • ...Recompēce.

1. The inward Duties which children owe to their parents, are, Love and Fear: Love like Sugar sweetens Fear, and Fear like Salt seasons Love; there must be a loving-fear, and a fearing-love. Hence the fear of a childe, is opposed to the fear of a slave; for a childes fear being mixt with love, hath respect to the offence which a parent may take: but a slaves fear, which is ordinarily mixed with hatred, hath respect to nothing but the punishment which his Master may inflict upon him. This love-like-fear is so proper to children, as that the awful respect which the Saints bear to God, is called a filial fear: Children have re∣ceived their substance, from the very substance of their parents, and therefore they are to perform this Duty of Love and Fear to them.

2. The outward Duties, or the manifestation of this Love and Fear in children, appears

1. In their Reverence, in speech and carriage: They must give to their parents reverent and honorable titles, meek and humble speeches, obeysance, as becomes their age and sex: Thus Joseph and Solomon bowed,* 1.62 the one to his father, the other to his mother. Contrary hereto is mocking and despising father and mother; of which said Solomon, The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother,* 1.63 the ravens of the valley shall pick it out: a phrase that sets forth the end of a notorious malefactor, that is hanged in the ayr till the ravens pick out his eyes.

2. In their obedience to their Commands, Instructions, Re∣proofs and Corrections of their Parents, Eph. 6.1. Prov. 1.8, 9. the reason is, because of God, whom the father represents: Chil∣dren must remember, that whatsoever they do to their parents, they do it to God; when they please them, they please God; when they disobey them, they disobey God; when their parents are justly angry with them, God is angry with them: nor can

they recover Gods favor (though all the Saints of heaven should intreat for them) till they have submitted themselves to their own parents; onely with this limitation, that they submit or obey them in the Lord, Eph. 6.1.* 1.64

3. In their Recompence: This is a Duty whereby children endeavor (as much as in them lies) to repay what they can for the parents kindeness, care and cost towards them, in way of thankfulness: If any widow have children, or nephews,* 1.65 let them learn first to shew kindeness at home, and to requite their parents; in sickness, they must visit them, in time of mourning, they must comfort them, in want, they must provide for them;* 1.66 as the chil∣dren of Jacob, who visited, comforted, and went to buy food for their father: in time of danger, they must endeavor their prote∣ction, as David did,* 1.67 Let my father and mother (said he to the King of Moab) I pray thee, come forth and be with you, till I know what God will do for me: And he brought them before the King of Moab, and they dwelt with him, all the while that Da∣vid was in the hold. If God please to take children out of this world before their parents, and their parents be succorless (they must as they can) provide for their well-being after their deaths: Thus Christ commended his Mother to his Disciple John,* 1.68 a little before he gave up the ghost. It is recorded of the Stork, That when the dams are old, the yong ones feed them; and when through age they are ready to faint in their flying, the yong ones help them; and when they are past flying, the yong ones carry them on their weak backs. Thus Nature teacheth children their Duty, how much more should grace?

SECT. 8. Of the Duties of Servants to their Masters.

DƲties of Servants to their Masters, are either

• inward, as Fear.
• outward, as
  • ...Reverence.
  • ...Obedience.

1. The inward Duty is Fear: Servants,* 1.69 be subject to your masters with all fear, and account them worthy of all honor:* 1.70 So proper is this fear to a Servant, as where it is wanting, there is a plain denyal of his Masters place and power: If I be a master,* 1.71

where is my fear? said God: observe, I mean not an excessive, slavish fear; as when a servant fears nothing but the revenging power of his Master (such was the fear of that unprofitable ser∣vant,* 1.72 who could say to his Master, I knew that thou wert an hard man,—and I was afraid) but I mean an awful fear of provoking his Masters wrath, so as it makes him cast every way, how he may please his master, and such a fear draws him on chearfully to perform his Duty.

2. Outward Duties which issue from this fear, are

• ...Reverence.
• ...Obedience.

1. Reverence, which is manifested in speech and carriage. Thus servants must give reverend titles to their Masters, as Father, Lord, and Master, &c. They must yield obeysance to them; as The children of the prophets,* 1.73 when they saw that the Spirit of Elijah rested on Elishah, they came to meet him, and bowed themselves to the ground before him.

2. Obedience, which hath respect to the Commands, Instru∣ctions, Reproofs and Corrections of their Masters, 1 Pet. 2.18, 19, 20. But here's a case or two of Conscience:

1. How far they must obey; or what is the extent of servants obedience to Masters?* 1.74— The Apostle answers, Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh: It is not sufficient that servants perform well their Duties in some things; they must do it in all things, yea in things that may be against their own minde and liking, if their Masters will have it so: This is clear in the ex∣ample of Joab, the King commands him to number the people; Joab declares himself,* 1.75 that he thinks it a very unmeet thing, Why doth my Lord the King delight (saith he) in this thing? yet against his judgement he yields unto the Kings peremptory command, The Kings word prevailed against Joab. Look as Peter, when Christ bid him lanch out into the deep, and let down his net for a draught,* 1.76 He answered and said, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless, at thy word I will let down the net. So must servants say, when they have a perempto∣ry command, though contrary to their own judgements, this or that in all humility, I suppose, or I propound to you, Never∣vertheless, at your word I will let down the net, I will do as you please.

2. But what if God and Master should command contrary

things?— In such a case the Apostle sets down an excellent limi∣tation in these four phrases, 1. As unto Christ: 2.* 1.77 As the ser∣vants of Christ: 3. Doing the will of God: 4. As to the Lord:] All these imply, That if Masters command their servants any thing contrary to Christ, they may not yield to it: Upon this ground the Midwives of the Hebrew women, would not kill the Hebrew children,* 1.78 They feared God (saith the Text) and did not as the King commanded them. In this case Joseph is commended in not hearkning to his Mistris; and the servants of Saul are com∣mended, for refusing to slay the Lords Priests at their Masters command. When Masters command or forbid any thing against God and Christ, they go therein beyond their commission, and their authority ceaseth, so that servants may say,* 1.79 We ought to obey God rather then men.

3. But some Anabaptists object, That all men are alike, and that there is no such difference as betwixt Masters and Servants, nay it is expresly forbidden to be Servants of men. I answer,* 1.80 I answer, to be a servant, in that place, is not simply to be in subjection under another, but to be so obsequious to man, as to prefer him before God: Hence the Apostle elswhere in the Duties of servants, lays down this Antithesis, Not as men-pleasers,* 1.81 but as the servants of Christ; again, doing service as to the Lord, and not to men: The meaning is, That we must do Duty to a Master, not as meerly to a man, but as to one in Christs stead. Masters by vertue of their office and place, bears the image of Christ; Christ com∣municates his authority unto them, and so in performing Duty to Masters, we perform Duty to Christ, and in denying Duty to Masters, we deny Duty to Christ: Thus the Lord said to Sa∣muel, when the people rejected his Government, They have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me,* 1.82 that I should not reign over them. Consider this, all ye that are Servants, though Ma∣sters should neither reward your good service, nor revenge your ill service, yet Christ will do both: This is your prerogative that fear God, above all other Servants; others may serve their Ma∣sters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, and with good will, but onely Christians and Saints do service as to Christ, and this makes them not content themselves with doing the thing, but to endeavor to do it after the best maner they can, so as God and Christ may accept of it.

I have now run through the Family, and informed you of the Duties both of Governors and governed. Christians, look within you, look about you, that man is not a good man, that is not good in all his relations. The same God that requires us to serve him as private persons, requires us to serve him in our re∣lations: And therefore though you be never so careful of your Duty in the former respect, yet you may go to hell for neglect∣ing your Duties, as Masters, Servants, Husbands, Wives, Parents, or Children; nay, Ile say a little more, that though you should be good in one relation, yet if you endeavor not to be good in every relation, you shall never go to heaven: for the same God that commands you to serve him as a Master, commands you to serve him as a Father, as an Husband, &c. And he that keeps the whole Law,* 1.83 and offends in one point, is guilty of all.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Ier. 10.25.
• * 1.2

  Iosh 24.15. Ier. 31.1.
• * 1.3

  1 Cor. 7.39.
• * 1.4

  Mal. 2.15.
• * 1.5

  Prov. 19.14.
• * 1.6

  Psa. 101.6, 7.
• * 1.7

  Pro. 1.8, 9.
• * 1.8

  1 Tim 5.8.
• * 1.9

  Eph. 4.28.
• * 1.10

  Prov. 12 9.
• * 1.11

  Psal 55.17.
• * 1.12

  Iob 1.5.
• * 1.13

  Gen. 12.7. & 13.4. & 21.33.
• * 1.14

  Deut 6.7.
• * 1.15

  Prov 22.6.
• * 1.16

  2 Tim. 3.15.
• * 1.17

  Mark 4.13.
• * 1.18

  Heb. 5.4.
• * 1.19

  Gen. 35.2.
• * 1.20

  Heb. 7.7. 1 Cor. 14.35. Orig. hom. 9. in Levit.
• * 1.21

  Rom 12.3.
• * 1.22

  1 Sam. 8.1.
• * 1.23

  Exod. 4.16.
• * 1.24

  Luke 7.3.
• * 1.25

  Phil. ver. 2.
• * 1.26

  1 Thess. 3.1, 2
• * 1.27

  1 Cor. 12.31.
• * 1.28

  Iudg. 13 4.
• * 1.29

  Gen. 25.22.
• * 1.30

  Gen. 17.7.
• * 1.31

  Ephes. 6.4.
• * 1.32

  2 Tim 3.15.
• * 1.33

  Isa. 28.10.
• * 1.34

  Iosh. 4 6, 21.
• * 1.35

  Iosh. 24.15.
• * 1.36

  Gen. 49.1, &c 1 Kin. 2.2, 3. 1 Chro. 28.9.
• * 1.37

  Isa. 58.6.
• * 1.38

  Mat. 19.6. Tit. 2.5. Mal. 2.15.
• * 1.39

  Eph. 5.25. Tit. 2.4.
• * 1.40

  Eph. 5.29.
• * 1.41

  Mat. 1.19.
• * 1.42

  Iob 1.21.
• * 1.43

  Isa. 40.11.
• * 1.44

  Eph. 5.25.
• * 1.45

  Deut. 7.7, 8.
• * 1.46

  1 Iohn 4.19. Cant. 1.2.
• * 1.47

  Eph. 5.25, 16, 27.
• * 1.48

  Iohn 13.1.
• * 1.49

  Ier. 3.1.
• * 1.50

  Ezek. 24.16.
• * 1.51

  Col. 3.19.
• * 1.52

  Eph 4.26.
• * 1.53

  Eph. 5 23.
• * 1.54

  Heb. 7.25.
• * 1.55

  Mat. 1.21.
• * 1.56

  Psa. 128.3.
• * 1.57

  G••n 3.16. Eph. 5.22. 1 Pet. 3.1, 6.
• * 1.58

  Cant 2.2.
• * 1.59

  Eph. 5.22.
• * 1.60

  G••n. 2.18.
• * 1.61

  Lib. 2. de Christiana fam. pag. 360.
• * 1.62

  Gen 48.12. 1 King. 2, 19.
• * 1.63

  Prov. 13.17.
• * 1.64

  Eph. 6.1.
• * 1.65

  1 Tim 5 4.
• * 1.66

  Gen 48.1. and 37.35. and 42.3.
• * 1.67

  1 Sam. 22.3, 4
• * 1.68

  Iohn 19.27.
• * 1.69

  1 Pet. 2.18.
• * 1.70

  1 Tim 6.2.
• * 1.71

  Mal. 1.6.
• * 1.72

  Mat. 25.24, 25.
• * 1.73

  2 Kin. 2.15.
• * 1.74

  Col. 3.22.
• * 1.75

  2 Sam. 24 2, &c.
• * 1.76

  Luke 5.4, 5.
• * 1.77

  Eph. 6.5, 6, 7.
• * 1.78

  Exod. 1.17.
• * 1.79

  Acts 5.29.
• * 1.80

  1 Cor 7.23.
• * 1.81

  Eph. 6.6, 7.
• * 1.82

  1 Sam. 8.7.
• * 1.83

  Iam. 2.10.